A list of 10 funny comments and questions from Tammy Pescatelli”s hardheaded, Italian mother-in-law Rose.
1. “My son isa so good-looking.” What she says whenever I give her a new family photo of the 3 of us.
2. “The dog. He do for sprite (spite).” How she explains why her giant Chihuahua, Apple, poops on the rug. It couldn’t be that he never was housebroken.
3. “Maybe the guy is jealous.” Her explanation when bad luck befalls any of her sons. For any reason. Anytime.
4. “Who is this?” What my mother-in-law says when I answer my HOME phone to let me know she doesn’t think I call enough.
5. “I make it 1-2-tree.” A description of the time it takes her to make any gourmet Italian dish, which she reminds us that none of her 4 daughter-in-laws “can cooka like” her.
6. “I raisa 4 kids.” How she responds when we ask her not to give the baby soda.
7. “Why you no call?” What she says to me whenever we make a SURPRISE trip into Brooklyn.
8. “No tella you wife.” What my mother-in-law tells her sons in regards to just about anything.
9. “Dis isa da good one.” How my mother-in-law describes anything that SHE buys for someone, even if it comes from a discount warehouse.
10. “I no unnerstan a good Englace.” Yet she knows the location of every Macy’s in the Tri-State area.
