Adoption Diaries

Our Decision to Adopt


My name is Whittney Zumdahl and I am 28 years old. I have a Masters degree in Physical Therapy but since I became a mother, I am now perfecting the career of 'Domestic Goddess'! My husband Greg and I have been married for three years and have been trying to have a family for that entire duration. After four disappointing miscarriages, we decided to form our family through open adoption. The decision to adopt was a fairly simple one for us. We wanted a child more than anything and could not have one on our own. Letting go of the dream of carrying our child, however, was much more difficult—but that was only the first of many complicated emotions to come. The adoption process was a whirlwind of ups and downs. We had the initial rush of finally doing something that would bring us one step closer to having our baby, followed by the disappointment in the lengthy and involved paperwork process. That was soon forgotten, though, when we were approved and "in the books." We had such joy and optimism! Our baby was quite possibly only a phone call or email away. Unlike our previous pregnancies, we were finally on a road that would eventually lead us to our child. Then reality hit and the agonizing wait and see game began. Our letters were being sent out every month but we hadn't heard a word from anyone. I kept my sanity by blogging with other waiting adoptive parents on our agency's website, and staying in contact with our counselor. Being able to have all my emotions validated by another person traveling along the same path was very empowering and reassuring. A few weeks before Christmas 2008 we receive “the call.” The first time I talked to Kolene I was on a Christmas Tree farm with my Dad, four year old niece and one year old nephew, but our conversation was not forced or awkward. When Greg and I began the adoption process we prayed from the very beginning that we would be able to form a lasting friendship with the birthmother of our child. We found that and so much more in Kolene. The wait was not without its emotional ups and downs, but most of those were caused by my overactive imagination and dread of worst-case scenarios. Kolene and I talked almost every day throughout her pregnancy and Greg and I planned on being with her in the hospital during delivery. Looking back, it's amazing how everything worked so perfectly. We arrived in Washington on Sunday; Kolene went into labor on Monday, and Greyson Jeffrey Zumdahl was born Tuesday May 26. We were quite a group in that small, rural hospital! Greg and I had our own hospital room just down the hall from Kolene's and little baby Greyson was wheeled back and forth between the two rooms. We spent those three days as one tight family--Kolene, Greg, Greyson and me. I don't think I have ever cried so much in three days in my entire life! I was overjoyed that our little boy was finally in our lives but I was also devastated for Kolene. It was very difficult to see someone we had grown to love so much make such a self-sacrificing choice for us; but at the same time we could not imagine our lives without Greyson. Our adoption was and continues to be open. It's even more open than most open adoptions! After we were all discharged from the hospital and before we could leave for Illinois, Greg, Greyson, Kolene and I spent as much time together as we could. Now we talk and IM and send lots of pictures either by phone or email, and we're hoping she can make it out for a visit this fall. It’s difficult to put into words all the emotions we’ve had during this journey. We don’t always know what the future holds for us, but adoption has taught us that each day is a blessing that is meant to be cherished and lived, not wasted on wishing for what cannot be. Greg and I feel forever blessed to have Greyson and Kolene in our lives, and it is our hope that our story will show people what a miracle open adoption can be.