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Bailey on Episode 10: At The Table

I didn’t want anyone to go to Ryan’s house because I was just in so much shock that I could not even think straight. I also did not want this to get around school. No one needed to know and I hate drama more than anything. I was scared what could potentially happen. I was so uncomfortable and did not know what to do in a situation like this. If anything, I was so happy that I found out what kind of person he was early on rather than being in love with him in the future and not getting out of the relationship.

The next day at school I did not want anyone to know what happened to me. I was going to keep it to myself and I figured Ryan would do the same because why would he want people to know he beat me? Ryan and I have first hour class together so I was scared he would be in there. I felt so sick I did not even want to go to school. Right when I walked in to class, everyone (including Ryan) was looking at me with a disgusted look on their faces. It was like everyone already knew. I could only guess what Ryan told them. This was so uncomfortable for me and I just wanted to puke because I felt so disgusted.

After that class, someone came up to me and told me that Ryan had to quit lacrosse, could not drive, could not go to a university, got his cell phone taken away and was grounded all because I made nothing into something. All the people who I thought were my friends de-friended me because they thought I ruined his life on purpose. I never felt so betrayed and so hurt. I felt like I had the whole school against me and I couldn’t help to thank god every second that this was the end of my senior year and I could not wait to get out of this place. I could not even wear tank-tops or shorts to school because my bruises were so noticeable. I just wanted to go home because I knew my family would be there for me through this. Them and my two best friends Missy and Breanne were the only people who stuck by my side. They’re the only two friends I still have from high school because they stayed true to me. I cannot thank God enough for them. They helped me get through everything. When I felt so low they would be the people who would lift me up and make me feel like everything was going to be alright and something good would happen from it. I never want anyone to feel the way I felt. It was the lowest point of my life.

Todd told me he got in contact with Ryan’s parents and we were going to have a meeting at their house about what happened. I could not wait to sit Ryan down and tell him how I felt. Once I got into their house something just came over me and I could not speak or get anything out. I felt so scared. Ryan’s parents were yelling at me and defending him. I was appalled that people actually thought what happened was OK and Ryan’s mom actually wanted us to reenact what happened. I was so traumatized and so upset about what was happening. They made me believe I was over dramatizing this whole thing along with the rest of my school .

Luckily, that day one of Ryan’s best friends saw what happened. He told me he would back me up on anything because he saw what happened. I needed him to come over and tell my family what he saw and him to reassure me that I was not making something out of nothing.

In the end, this experience has made me so much stronger. I do not want anyone to go through what I did so always follow your intuition. I am so blessed to have such an amazing family. Without them, I could not get through this. I hope no one experiences what I did and I am happy to give advice to anyone who needs it.