The Long, Hot Summer

If you think sunshine and warm nights make you act up, you can only imagine what it does to celebrities
Summer is almost here, and you know what that means: lazy afternoons in the hammock, Long Island iced teas poolside, and Lohan mania. That's right, the summer of '08 may go down as the season when Lilo wasn't the only Lohan that you found yourself castigating around the water cooler. Because Living Lohan, the show that Mom of the Year Dina Lohan will be starring in along with Lindsay sibs Ali, Michael, and Cody, will debut. And based on what we've read about the other Lohan-ites, it promises to be chock full of moments that may well make Lindsay look like the healthy one. "I want it [fame] so bad," Ali told Teen Vogue. "So bad you don't even know. And now, it's actually happening." And all we can say is...it sure is.

You can also be sure to expect some surprising--and ephemeral--summer flings. After all, summer is when the clothes come off, the skin gets tanned, and the combination makes the mind start to race. Hence, in the summer of '07, there were couples such as John Mayer and Cameron Diaz, Cameron's fellow Angel Drew Barrymore and Zach Braff, and perennially unlucky in love Brad Pitt ex Jennifer Aniston and that hot model guy who sort of, but didn't quite, look like Brad. Coincidence? We think not. Expect odd couplings of this summer to include Lohan (when the biggest Lindsay news is about her family's reality show, it's time she stepped out with someone new) and Braff (he seems to get around), although not necessarily together (even though that wouldn't be a bad idea).

But it's not all going to be flings and regrets, either (at least not right away). Young Harlow may be getting some married parents now that Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are allegedly talking about making it legal this summer. Tori Spelling is expecting baby number two with that husband she first hooked up with when the two were inconveniently married to other people. And, after a decade together, Johnny Depp and that French wife of his are supposedly tying the knot.

Still, who can get excited about all the baby-making and supposedly happy weddings when there are Lohans to disapprove of? People, don't get caught up in the romance of it all; we need to keep our priorities straight.