Celebrity Dish

Could Changing Bedmates be the Result of Brain Defects?

A-Rod, Christie Brinkley, and Peter Cook all have divorce on the brain.

So Madonna and Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez either are or are not having an affair. The whole affair--whether it's an affair or not--sounds a tad confusing, with various ex's shacking up with allegedly sexy musicians. The only thing that isn't complicated, as a matter of fact, is that all of the parties involved have the same manager. Coincidence? Synergy? A PR strategy? Who the hell knows? Madonna is, of course, no stranger to stepping out with surprising folks but she's also a controversy-creator bar none. The only loser in this scenario (save Guy Ritchie) may well be Kaballah. Because it can't be great for business when your poster child is entertaining men whose wives have just given birth, can it?

And speaking of wives and children, the Christie Brinkley-Peter Cook trial is in session and you'd better believe it's ugly. Seriously, what's a former supermodel to do when the step-father of a teenage girl begs her to convince her husband to leave said teenage daughter alone? Cook, rest assured, didn't just take up with the local teens, either. This class act also logged some time on threesome websites. But, you see, that was only when he was married to Brinkley. The man hasn't been to one of those sites since the day Brinkley filed for divorce. And why shouldn't we believe such a credible source?

Then, from the if-it-hadn't-been-for-Paris-we'd-never-have-been-subjected-to-this-person department comes the news that Kim Kardashian is going to be releasing a perfume. Is this to capitalize on the fame she--or rather, her derriere--is getting? Of course not! It's actually the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. Which we guess blows out the theory that starring in a sex tape like Paris was all that she'd aspired to. Kim Kardashian, a girl with goals.

And while we're talking about embarrassing incidents that probably shouldn't have been captured on the tape, it's surely time to revisit Sharon Stone and her now-infamous comments on the earthquakes in China. Because the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals have offered to pay for a brain scan to try to determine if she's suffering from a serious brain defect. Now, the PETA people have always been a sassy bunch when it comes to people who wear fur, but we're thinking they might really be onto something here.

Seriously, why stop with Dr. Drew Pinsky's celebrity narcissism studies? We say let's give the whole Hollywood community brain scans. Think about it: wouldn't it be a great excuse for Madonna to later blame the whole A-Rod thing on a brain defect?