Hollywood's Making Babies - and Deals

Madonna, A-Rod and his soon-to-be-ex captivated the celeb-hungry world this week. Never one to miss an opportunity to get his name in print, Jose Canseco chimed in with the news that Madonna wanted him to impregnate her. And look, we wouldn't put it past her. Not only has M had notoriously horrific taste in men--save the ones she actually married--but that ethnic-baby-craving part of her does help make sense of the affair she had with that trainer/father of Lourdes. Still, what really gave the story credence was that Canseco, in his conversation with a reporter about all of this, admitted that his concern in screwing things up with his wife was that "I would lose a lot of money." Ah, priorities.

Someone who may well have his priorities straight now is Ethan Hawke, who decided to make an honest woman out of his baby mama Ryan Shawhughes. Because Shawhughes isn't quite in the Uma Thurman league--though the least attractive aspect of her is actually that mouthful of a last name--we can only hope that Hawke has learned that beautiful isn't always better. Still, he should be forewarned that bedding the nanny didn't work out so well for Robin Williams or Jude Law--not to mention Rob Lowe.

And speaking of those married guys who may have wandering eyes, cameras caught particularly amusing pictures of the supposedly happily married David Beckham nearly causing an accident or two while he checked out the street merchandise. Though credit should be given to the guy for his consistency in regards to brunettes. 

Another reliable celebrity is Matthew McConaughey. Think about it: Over the 15 years he's been out there in the public world, he's never stopped speaking like a complete stoner, making a slew of not-so-good movies and doing weird things. Nevertheless, he was able to sell off the photos of his baby Levi for a cool $3 mill. The deal includes rights to the pics of the wedding, if McConaughey does decide to marry Levi's mom, not that there's any plan in place for this to happen.

The fact that happily married and surprisingly astute Jessica Alba sold her baby pics for half the price should say something about Hollywood values. But what? That stoner spawn is worth more? That mating with a model bodes better for your baby's value than being impregnated by an aspiring producer? 

Things could get more disturbing and unfair, of course. After all, news could filter in that photos of Jose Canseco and Madonna's heretofore-unannounced love child fetched roughly the equivalent of Steve Jobs' annual salary.