Why Married With Children Doesn't Always Work for Celebs

Perhaps because Angelina and Brad's twins finally emerged into the world (with crazy names intact), baby talk was everywhere. First came the news that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are giving Violet a baby sister or brother, followed by the alert that Jerry O'Connell and Rebecca Romijn are trying to get to that stage. And we have to ask: is the news cycle so slow that a married couple attempting to have kids is somehow noteworthy?

The answer to that, of course, is hell to the no -- not with ever-new celebrity duplicity coming down the pipeline. Sure, the A-Rod and Madonna story has lost a bit of steam (possibly due to the fact that it was, um, never true) but there will always be fresh celebrity scandals to keep us entertained.

This week, it's the billionaire's great-grandson Balthazar Getty who's getting busy with Sienna Miller. Wasn't it just the other day that she was swearing she was so in love with that funny-looking (not to mention funny-named) Rhys Ifans? Could this all be some kind of attempt to do unto another woman what that nanny did unto her? Or can we just safely assume that any woman who stepped out with P Diddy couldn't make a solid romantic choice to save her life? 

While Balthazar has four kids with his wife, perhaps he understands that just because you've procreated with someone doesn't mean you're headed down the path to everlasting bliss. Just ask Salma Hayek, who recently announced her un-engagement from the mega-rich (and mega-old) Francois-Henri Pinault.

Or even good old Britney, who may be turning up in public and managing not to make any scenes but still had to hand over custody of her kids to good old K-Fed.

Perhaps Jessica Simpson has it all figured out. She got the goofball out of her life, no longer dates a guy who always seems like he's going to stray no matter who he's with, and is managing to hang onto her cute and famous boyfriend despite that father of hers. Could it be that Simpson understands something that other boldfaced names do not -- that is, if you don't get knocked up, you may well never have to be called crazy in court?