I Rest My Case

Are women are to blame for their single status?

By Liza Persky

I got into a cab yesterday and the cab driver was listening to Howard Stern. He wasn't just listening. He was having a full-blown conversation. With a radio! Nine out of ten times there's a tipping point moment in a cab, when you have to make a decision between sticking it out with a potentially unbalanced driver who's got a case of the crazies, or getting out and finding another cab. It was cold and raining, and there were no cabs in site, so I decided that risking my life was worth not ruining my hair. As we were driving I was doing my best to not make eye contact with him in his rearview mirror, thinking that, perhaps he'll just continue to eat his lunch, listen to Howard and forget I was there. No such luck. 

He was in the middle of giving Howard a piece of his mind when he caught my eye and says, "Can you believe this?"  So now I was part of the fun. He told me that Howard, actually, he and Howard, were discussing the fact that for the third time this month a man in Long Island was found guilty of murdering his wife. He then said, "What's wrong with you women?"  Ummm....WHAT? I was stunned. I said, "What's wrong with US?" He said, "Yeah. You women pick these loser guys. Over and over and over again. Ya never get it right." I then told him that maybe it wasn't our fault, but maybe it was because there really just aren't that many great guys to pick from. He wasn't buying it.  

It's amazing how many guys don't seem to realize that the reason there are so many single women, is because the pool of great single available guys is pretty small. Think about it. To start with, the ratio of men to women in New York City is 81 to 100 according to the latest U.S. Census Report. Then, you take the gays out, who are the best ones -- let's face it -- and what you're left with is what I usually end up meeting.  

Almost every time I go on an online date, which is basically every time I go out, without fail within the first ten minutes the guy goes, "How is it possible that you're still single?" It's always said in a way where I can't figure out if it's a compliment, or if basically he's asking, "What the hell's wrong with you?" What I want to tell him is that what's wrong with me is that I continue to date online when I know the odds are in not in my favor. The way I see it, if you're a smart, successful, funny, kind and sensitive guy, you're not single, unless you want to be. You're certainly not online. There are just too many women to choose from, so what's left over are the guys driving cabs and talking to radios.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about. My friend Lindy met a great guy on Match.com. They hit it off and seven months later they're still going strong. I asked her how many online dates she thought she'd been on before she met him, and she said probably two-hundred-and something. Then I asked her how many online dates he'd been on.  She was his first one. He struck gold the first time out and she had to go through two hundred guys to find a good one. Let's face it. It's a buyers market for men, and lately I'm feeling like a rundown studio apartment.

Which brings me back to my cab driver.  As this over-weight, sweaty, loud and abrasive guy was lecturing me on why women are to blame for their single status, I continued to plea my case that it's hard to meet great available guys. His response, uttered with a mouth full of Gyro, was, "Well, I'm free." I rest my case.