Marry Christmas

When I was a kid Christmas meant one thing and one thing only:  Presents.  Well, it also meant that, being Jewish, I was denying the beliefs, practices, history and tradition of my family's heritage, but really, we focused on the presents.  My twin sister and I would sit back to back racing to see who could open our gifts first, since invariably we would get the same things, and then we would spend hours playing with our toys, art supplies, Barbie's, and during one particularly unattractive year, our TVs "Blossom" fan club membership, which came complete with the exclusive "Blossom's favorite flowery hats" collection.

Now, as an adult, the gifts have changed, but they are none-the-less appreciated and cherished, except, possibly, for this year.  The following is a list of what I got for Christmas from my family:

• A Microwave
• Flatware
• A down comforter
• A cutting board
• A Fondue Set
• Terrycloth towels
• An alarm clock
• Salad bowls
  

After itemizing my gifts one thing seems clear: Either there was a dollar sale at Bed, Bath and Beyond, or my family has given up on the idea of me ever getting married and have resorted to buying me the things I will NEVER get from a wedding registry.  Considering today's economy, I'm going with the second option.  It's not that I don't appreciate it, but couldn't they have thrown in a Juicy Couture sweat suit to at least throw me off the trail?  I know I'm not the first single girl to bemoan the idea of registries only being recognized if you're part of a couple, I mean, "Sex and the City" did a whole episode where Carrie registers herself for a pair of shoes, which her friend (whom Carrie had spent plenty of dough on for her wedding and new baby) reluctantly buys in congratulations of Carrie's decision to not wed. But I'm kind of out on the whole idea of registering to begin with. 

The concept of registering started a long time ago in 1924 , and lets face it, when our grandparents, or even parents, were getting married, it was pretty much right out of college. In those days they graduated, got married and then moved in together.  They really didn't have anything of their own at the time, since before then they'd been living at home. They actually NEEDED a 4-piece set of measuring cups.  But now, it's not about getting stuff, it's about getting NEW, better stuff.   I don't deny the fact that I need some of the items I listed above, but for Christmas? I feel a little gypped.  I mean, isn't it enough that all my engaged girlfriends not only got Christmas and then a SEPARATE occasion for them to get their registered presents, but they ALSO got a husband.  Am I being punished for being a late bloomer, or maybe more pointedly, for discovering laser hair removal a little later in life??  It doesn't seem fair.

I called my married friend Kate to see what she got for Christmas.  The list included perfume, Skinny jeans and a pair of sexy black leather knee high boots.  Did it ever occur to my family that maybe buying me a pair of sexy leather boots might HELP me find a husband?  I mean give me a fighting chance. 

When all is said and done I realize my family means well, but I also know this: If I ever DO get married, I'm registering for a pair of sexy black leather boots, and maybe a mixer.