More Sex, Less Stress?

Our dating blogger disagrees.

by Liza Persky

Last weekend was very productive and I was able to get a lot of things done:  Christmas shopping for my family, getting my winter wardrobe out of storage, paying bills, de-friending Rocco Dispirito (on Facebook)...all in all a good use of my time.  I figured since I was so caught up on my life I could now get caught up on my reading.  I looked on my end table and there were three choices.  The Corrections, which I've been trying to finish since 2001; my journal, which hasn't had anything INTERESTING in it since 2001; and the latest issue of Self magazine.  After glancing at the cover of Self and seeing there was yet ANOTHER article telling me how to tweeze and shape my eyebrows, (there's been less research written on who built the Pyramids of Giza) I decided to go with Self. Big mistake.




While flipping through it, the title of an article caught my eye:  "More Sex, Less Stress."  By the title alone I figured I wasn't in the demographic (i.e., people having sex), but hey, I occasionally read a cookbook and I'm not a chef, so I decided to give it a glance.  According to this article, research shows a great way to ward off anxiety is by connecting in bed.  Or, put another way, more sex equals less stress and anxiety.  Exactly what women were they talking to?  From my experience -- I do have some -- the days and nights leading up to sex are nothing but stress.

First of all, I have to make sure I'm properly waxed, and for those of you who read my blog on waxing, you know that it's a strategically planned operation. Then, God forbid there's any kind of waxing mishap (all it takes is one ingrown to bring down a whole bikini), and of course there's the weather.  I have curly hair, and when you have curly hair, nothing makes soft manageable curls turn into frizz rivaling Rosanna Danadana like rolling around in bed with fingers running through it. And add sweat to that, well, you've got yourself a perfect storm.  The only remedy is a very low humidity weather pattern.  I'll actually check the five-day-forecast before a potential night-leading-to-sex-date. I know the rest of the world checks out the weather week ahead and sees sun, clouds, snow or rain, but to me, it's a little more scientific. Those suns' have either got curly, straight, frizzy or wet hair sitting on top of their glowing yellow faces.  So, after I've got the waxing and the weather in my favor, then there's the wardrobe. And I'm not talking about jeans and a sexy top. I'm talking about what's under them.  Ever since I dated a man who took one look at me wearing a beige bra and red underpants and said, "I thought all women matched their bra's and panties," I have been somewhat scarred.  WHAT woman started this rumor?  Probably the same one who led men to believe that we all look good in baseball hats and pony tails.  I'm lucky if I put on a bra with any underwire left. 

As I was reading the article I actually started to feel better.  When it comes down to it, having sex actually MAKES me stressed. Maybe I'm ahead of the game and not having sex makes ME the one with less stress and anxiety.  I was feeling pretty good about my assessment until I read the last paragraph. "Being in an intimate relationship correlates to healing faster, getting sick less often and living longer."   So, not only does being single and not having sex mean I have no plans for weekends, holidays or New Years Eve, I, in fact, actually might die younger, and in a bad bra to boot.