He May Be Into You

Well, we've seen the posters, read the book, watched the "Sex and The City" episode more times than we care to admit, and now it's playing at our local theater: "He's Just Not That Into You," the movie,  or, as I like to call it, The Religion. 

I have been looking forward to this movie ever since I read that it was being made, about a year ago. It's been out a couple of weeks but I haven't seen it yet.  The problem is, I have promised to see it with so many different girlfriends I'm somewhat paralyzed in my desire to please everyone, which right there might explain why many men have not been that into me. Frankly, I'M not that into me.  I don't know when this whole saving movies for certain people thing started, but I wouldn't mind if it went the way of the Ugg.

I remember when I first saw the episode of that "Sex and the City" that brought this issue into the mainstream. I, like many women, thought, "DUH!"  I don't think that was a huge surprise to most of us.  We pretty much suspected if a guy wasn't calling it didn't mean that he was excited to introduce us to his parents, but, for some reason, when we heard Greg Behrendt say it in his straightforward and straight guy way, suddenly it was like figuring out the mystery of the Sphinx.   

But, there may be a new phenomenon taking place that seems rampant in me and my single girl friends' dating lives.  I call it, "He IS into you....right this minute."  Unlike the Greg Behrendt philosophy, which explains why a guy may not be calling you, or inviting you up, or making the second date, this would cover the even more mysterious situation, where you go on a few dates with a guy, you don't hear from him for days or weeks, and suddenly you get an email: "Hey. What's up?  Wanna get together?"  Where do they go in-between the great last date you had and the, "Hey. What's up" email two weeks later?  We women may get the whole, "He's just not that into us,"  but what are we supposed to do with the, "He's into me sometimes," dilemma?  I decided it was time to bring in an expert, which in this case means a straight man.

I called my friend, Brad, and asked him why these guys pop up after weeks of not calling or emailing, suddenly seeming like they want to hang out, like no time has passed? Like we haven't written about it in our journals, talked about it in therapy, dissected it over coffee, stalked them at their apartment on Friday nights...woops, well, maybe just once, three years ago. But he was tall. You understand.

I asked Brad, "What is it?  Is it that they have needed the time to digest their feelings and to put some real thought and care into how and if they are ready for a commitment with us?" Brad's response: "Did you girls sleep with them?"  I wanted to say it was none of his business, but, since I brought him into this Jackie Collins novel,  I felt like it was my duty to see it through.  I asked him what that had to do with it.  He said he would bet me dinner and a movie that the girls I was talking about in this scenario most likely slept with the guy on the first or second date, and the reason for the call weeks later: he was horny.  That's it.  Plain and simple.  I decided to test his theory and I called five girlfriends who had recently complained about the mixed signals.  All five of them slept with their guys on the first or second date.  

Could it really be that simple?  We've always heard that it's bad to sleep with a guy on the first date because he won't respect you, but how do you explain this?  Brad said when it comes down to it guys are very simple creatures. When they're hungry they eat, when they're thirsty they drink, and when they're horny they screw.

Turns out Brad won that bet.  I guess I know who I'm going to see, "He's Just Not That Into You," with. Sorry girls.