Virtual Intimacy

How soon is too soon to friend a date?

By Liza Persky

I'm a big fan of Facebook, but I am in a situation which is making me rethink my devotion to it.  I went on two dates with a cute guy recently. Let's call him Kevin, because that's his name.  So Kevin and I have been getting along well, and I actually think there might be a chance of something that lasts longer than "Secret Talents of Stars" did.

So, today, while checking my status updates on my home page, I saw that I had a new friend request. I opened it up, and there he was. Kevin.  Asking to be my friend.  Tell me THAT is not an awkward situation. And before you say, "Just act dumb on your next date and tell him you aren't a big Facebook fan so you didn't know," you should be aware I spent the ENTIRE first date raving about it.  

So, as I sit here and weigh the pros and cons of what to do, I'm aware it's pretty much all cons.  Let's see. Here is a list of things I would NOT want a potential boyfriend to know or see:

• The photo of the day I came out of the gym after a night of eating chicken wings with my friends
• The fact that I "Became a fan of 'Blossom'"   
• That I've been "poked" more times than I care to remember
• That on the "What 'Sex and the City' character are you?" test, I came out as Miranda
  

Or what about my status updates? Here are some of the updates I would have thought twice about posting had I known a new man in my life was reading them:

Liza is "Wondering if she can wait till spring to shave her legs"
Liza is "Thinking about why she hates beer"
Liza is "Not a fan of the movie "Caddyshack"
Liza is "Thinking she has Mono....again"
Liza is "So excited to see "Nights in Rodanthe"
Liza "Thinks she looks fat in this"
Liza "Wonders if she'll ever learn to cook"
Liza is "Excited for another Saturday night of beauty at home ... mud mask here I come"

See my problem?  It's not that I'm ashamed of who I am; I just don't need a stranger with relationship potential to know my flaws quite yet.  I guess I need to be a grownup here and do the thing that just makes life a whole lot easier.  Anyone out there want to meet me at My Space?