Recession Dating

Who picks up the tab during a recession?

By Liza Persky

I was at a doctor's appointment the other day and went through my usual waiting room ritual of picking up every magazine looking for one I hadn't read yet.  There's nothing as satisfying as coming across an issue of US Weekly, looking at the date, and seeing that it's that week's issue, which you haven't bought yet.   It's like coming across a brand new pair of 7 Jeans in your closet that you; don't remember buying, you've never worn, and they fit PERFECTLY.   


After looking through every magazine that had either a Brad, Angelina or Jennifer on the cover, I was out of luck.  I'd read them all before. Twice. I was desperate for something to make the time go more quickly so I picked up Newsweek.  The last time I read Newsweek was....NEVER, so I thought maybe I owed it to myself to see what it had to offer. I glanced at the cover and figured an article called "Why baseball is in denial" might not hold my interest so I decided to check out something that sounded interesting. "Men will be Men."    The article is about what is happening to the men in society now that a big percentage of them are losing their jobs, saying, "Most guys still derive the bulk of their self esteem from their work, which makes the latest unemployment data ominous for the male ego."  As if dating wasn't hard enough, now we have to make sure their ego is stroked without them thinking we're after their money



I'll be honest.  Even before the recession, money has kind of been an issue on the dates I go on.   I always offer to pay my half, since I get the feeling from men that, in this day of online dating, where the playing field is pretty even, it's expected.   I assumed that most women were doing the same. Well, boy was I wrong.  As I read the article further it talked about a new club that has sprung up called, DABA, which stands for "Dating A Banker Anonymous." It's a site where women who have been affected by the recession, in that, "Bottle service has all but disappeared in your life," can go and vent about not being wined and dined like the good old days.  Who are these women??  Alexis Carrington?

I think the last time I was wined and dined was on my 21st birthday, when my boyfriend at the time took me out to celebrate. And he got off cheap, since after one Fuzzy Navel I was ready to check myself into Promises.

I've pretty much always paid my own way in relationships. My ex, Jerry, and I had an interesting arrangement.  He didn't have a checking account and I did, so we decided he would pay for everything that took cash and I would pay everything that took credit.  So, I paid for the washer and dryer, and he paid for brunch.  

I went on a date not so long ago and, like usual, offered to pay my half.  He not only took me up on it, but after adding up the bill, noticed that I had one more glass of wine than he did, and had me pay MORE!  I wonder if any of those DABA girls have ever experienced that?!  No. They're pissed if they're dinner isn't only paid for, but doesn't come with a nice bottle of Cristal.  I'm not sure who I'm more annoyed with. Guys who tend to conveniently remember equal rights, when it suits them, or women like these DABA girls who make men think we're all gold diggers. I wish I never knew about any of this. It just makes being single even harder. But, I guess that's what I get for reading Newsweek.  US weekly would never hurt me like that.