Three Simple Ways To Get Hot And Bothered This Summer!

OK, ladies, I know what you're thinking: "Yuck! It's too hot, and by-the-way--I am NOT, I REPEAT, NOT ready to be seen in a bathing suit this summer. So showing skin is out of the question altogether."

I know you're tired, sweaty and cranky; and the last thing you're thinking about is love and/or sex. Maybe you have kids, and the thought of them being at home all day, searching for something to do (and eat!) is making you dread "summer vacation."

What can I say? Life is tough, but no matter what--this summer--put some effort into your romantic relationship. It'll make the other problems in your stressed-out, sticky life seem a little smaller. Trust me.

Why not try the following? 

(**These activities are meant to be enjoyed without the kids...so if you have children, leave them at home with a babysitter.)

• GO CAMPING: OK, fine. Camping=giant bugs, intolerable heat, no adequate personal hygiene or TV, interaction with other "campers" (many of whom appear to live in their tents all year round...um, scary) and don't forget, the occasional wild animals trying to eat you. But other than that, it's great, right?! Seriously, I love camping. Some of my favorite memories with John are from various "camping" trips. (I put quotes around camping because John, always determined to remain comfortable and entertained, actually brought a TV and DVD player into our tent--not exactly Grizzly Adams.) Even if you just set up your tent in your backyard, camping seems to make people feel frisky. Maybe it's the sound of the crickets, or the pitch-black sky, or the flattering glow of the lantern--or maybe it's just the shear boredom! No matter what, you'll end up connecting.
  
  
• TAKE AN OLD FASHIONED SUMMER STROLL FOR NO REASON: Everyday, we walk everywhere: to the market, to the subway, to the hair dresser, to the office, etc. We're always in a mad rush, on a mission. But when was the last time you took a relaxed, romantic stroll with your sweetheart for no reason except pleasure? Try it--with no cell phone, Blackberry, time limit, or destination in mind. Victorian women used to put on their best bonnets, grab a parasol and--take a walk. The goal was simple: smile, chat and flirt with the gentleman caller. Sometimes they'd hold hands (blush!) or perhaps he'd steal a kiss (scandal!). These days, we're missing out on this old-fashioned pleasure; let's bring it back.
  
  
• GO SKINNY DIPPING! : WARNING--PLEASE DON'T GET ARRESTED! I'm not suggesting that you and your hairy husband strip naked and then jump into a fountain in front of your local courthouse or shopping mall. But I am suggesting that--when the feeling's right--you two find a very secluded, private swimming spot and dive right in. What could be more fun and refreshing than swimming around like a pair of fish in cool, clear water? You'll feel so sexy, healthy and alive. A regular Adam and Eve! And the fear of "getting caught" will make you feel eighteen again. It's an oldie but a goodie.

JOHN: So you're not ready to be seen in a bathing suit but you're ready to go skinny dipping? I'm confused, but all three of those sound pretty good to me. I agree that simple or basic activities can often be the most romantic. But aren't we supposed to provide readers with "modern""professional" advice here? You might as well tell people to share a big milkshake using two extra-long straws or to take a ride on a bicycle built for two.It's 2008 Amy! Isn't there some sort of newfangled "orb" (please see "Sleeper") that can get a couple "hot and bothered," or some sort of virtual reality, interactive adventure-land place that a couple can visit? I'll do some research.