Amy vs. John
- About Amy vs. John
- Amy vs. John
- Talk
Public Breast-Feeding: The Great Boob Debate
Is it OK to flash some nipple in order to feed your baby?
John: Yesterday I was walking down the street in the middle of the afternoon, when I noticed two thirtyish women approaching. They were casually talking, and one of them was carrying her infant in a front pouch. As they got closer, I noticed that the one carrying the child seemed to be showing a little more skin up front than the other
pedestrians. Then, as they were right in front of me, I saw it--one full boob out in the breeze, nipple and all! In order to breast-feed her child while she was walking down the street, this woman had her entire boob exposed to the world and the child's mouth wasn't even attached. It was almost as if the child had decided to take a little break between courses to enjoy all the attention.
We don't have children, so I cannot fully appreciate the irregularity of an infant's feeding schedule. Perhaps she had somewhere to be by a certain time and her logical solution was to feed the child while in transit. But these two did not seem to be in much of a hurry. In fact, they gave the impression that they were just out for a stroll--two friends catching up.
Frankly, I did not know what to think. At first, my inner
"Base Carnal Man" just sounded the alarm:
BOOB! BOOB! BOOB! Involuntarily, my eyes zeroed in on that nipple. I
stared and stared. Then, my inner "Gentleman" slapped me across the face and I
quickly turned my head, eyes down in shame.
As I walked on, I struggled. "It's the most natural thing in the world," I kept telling myself. What's the big deal? But I couldn't help feeling a touch resentful. I really felt ashamed for staring so intently at that woman's boob when she was simply a mother feeding her child. At the same time I felt like that boob is supposed to be covered up. I shouldn't have to encounter such temptation while walking down the street, right? Aren't there laws?
So am I just an uptight American? If we all saw more boobs
everyday, would mothers be allowed to freely feed their children without being
ogled by jerks like me? And would I be able to go about my business and not be
distracted by an innocently exposed breast walking down the street? Somebody
help me!!
Amy: Sorry Honey, I can't help. You're just a sad, desperate
creep--gawking at the big naked breast of a nursing mother! Good God, have you
no pride or dignity whatsoever?! PERVERT!
Actually, to be 100% honest, I can't blame you. Even I catch
myself staring when a woman whips one out--without warning--in a diner,
department store or airport. C'mon
ladies--NOT NECESSARY!! How can we judge the "Girls Gone Wild" chicks for baring it
all when these new mothers are doing it too? No doubt, many of you will argue,
"Oh Amy--it's not the same--they're breast-feeding!" or "Amy, you're terrible:
anti-motherhood, anti-women...you should shut the hell up!"
But it's a free
country, and I have this blog, so I say: No! A boob, is a boob, is a boob!
I have my own "scientific" theory that when these mothers go through the trauma of giving birth, spread-eagled, cameras rolling, with twenty people watching, they often become temporarily desensitized to the concept of "privacy." They become slightly crazy, like nudists.
I know, I know--it's the "most beautiful, normal activity, to
feed your offspring." Duh, I do get that. In fact, I agree. But in this
somewhat-civilized society, we don't walk around topless, do we? It makes lots
of people uncomfortable.
It's true, I'm certainly no authority because I don't have any kids. But if or when I do, I won't be breast-feeding in public--promise. I think nursing is a very sacred PRIVATE activity, like say, having sex or going to the bathroom. None of these should take place in front of an audience.
So cover up earth mothers! You don't want sickos like John watching.
I am a mother of a 3 month old child and I am exclusively breast feeding. While I agree that it is a mother's right to breast feed their child in public, I do believe that a mother should cover up. There is plenty of material and breast feeding cover ups that will allow the mother to feed her child without exposing herself to the world. Just because it is the most natural thing in the world, does not mean that we as mother have to expose ourselves. Discretion is the key. It is supposed to be a bonding experience between the mother and baby, not mother, baby and the rest of the world.
As a woman i would have been able to ask her to cover up since the baby was done. Just for her own safety. There are some crazies out there.
I used to be really nervous about NIP but then I realized it doesn't matter about wether someone sees part of a BREAST or a nipple or whatever. What I am doing is for the benefit of my BABY. I NIP because it is a neccessity NOT a moral statement or what I think others should believe. If you don't like NIP or seeing a part of a BREAST trust me when I say that you are invited to look the other way, even if you just think that is what a mother is doing. If it bothers you to be inconvienced to look the other way, if it is a pain in your ass to be so OFFENDED when you glimpse a bit of flesh, then you know how I feel when I am told to cover up or go to a restroom to feed my child. I don't do this to give people a show, trust me, it's on my mind everytime I have to do it. Please be resepectful to NIPers, please do not compare us to "Girls Gone Wild" and please realize that what we ARE doing is the best possible thing a mother can do for her baby and she is not doing for herself or for you.
Quite sad to see a woman saying that breastfeeding should be done only in private. Perhaps one day you'll have a child, hopefully breastfeed it, and realize the ignorance of your statement.
Breastfeeding is most successful when done 'on demand', when mom feeds the babe whenever it is hungry. Newborns, especially, have tiny tummies. They're hungry often and need to be fed often. As such, a breastfeeding mother would rarely be able to leave the house if confined to 'privacy'. Perhaps you think moms should find the nearest public bathroom when needing to breastfeed her babe in public...but let me ask you: would you be willing to eat in most of the public loos that you've been in? I wouldn't, and I wouldn't feed my child in them either.
It's just a boob. Get over it. An infant's hunger trumps your sophmoric fear of a briefly exposed nipple any day, and a quietly nursing pair are far less disruptive in public than a hungrily screaming child. Since most nursing mother's couldn't care less that it makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you should consider this your problem - not their's.
I am always amazed by this concept of all these nursing moms "whipping out" a boob. Really. I am a hippy mom, most of my friends are hippy moms. I have met maybe one mother so comfortable with her breasts, not to mention the rest of her post baby body, to bare most of it to feed her child. In fact I think if you knew how many moms you have ignored cause you didn't know they were nursing you would be surprised. I have nursed kids for a total of 6 years. Only feeding someone that eats every 2-3 hours in private is silly. I have nursed every where, and with kids that freaked at being "covered up", seriously your gonna have to mature a little and realize that when faced with the choice of feeding their children in the best way possible or making sure that you don't get offended by a BOOB!(geez really?) moms aren't gonna choose you. Sorry.
And really...equating breastfeeding to Girls Gone Wild, sex, and using the bathroom? Grow up already.
I agree a screaming child that is hungry trups your uptight butts. you know this is not even an issue in Germany or Italy. only in this country do we have so many prudes. Grow Up People! I don't even have kids and I get this concept! Maybe you should watch more girls gone wild and desensitize your self to boobs. If a boob is such a problem to you where dose it end you know women had to cover there ankles back in the day would you like to go back to that. maybe you should try a real issue like teen pregnancy or helping the homeless or helping the neighborhood and environment instead of worrying about a boob that is natural to feed a screaming child!!! You go Moms that chose to breast feed instead of bottle feed. Your children will be all the better for it!!!
I am a mom twice over and I breastfed both of my children. I admit that I was one who refused to feed them while sitting on a toilet. I did it once when my daughter when she was 2 months and I was a first timer, but never again after that. Anyone who ever even tries to suggest that to a nursing mom should be forced to eat all of their meals in public toilets chosen by those same moms for at least a week!
As for walking down the street, I do believe that it is more than possible to feed an infant "on the hoof". I fed said-same daughter while walking through a large grocery store while we shopped! I had her in a baby sling with an extra blanket draped over my shoulder. The only thing visible was her dainty feet. When a couple of older ladies saw us and cooed over the potential of seeing her, I simply half-whispered, "She's sleeping, but thank you." They cooed that it was sweet and walked on, never knowing that she was actually merrily nursing away. And NO BOOB EVER SHOWED!! On the other hand, a little bit of skin with a nursing child is not horrible either.
Come on, Paris Hilton and friends show more skin than almost any nursing mother.
I must say that I couldn't disagree more. I'm a teenager, never been a mother, but from experience with my niece I can confidently say that I relished the moments my sister fed her so she'd STOP CRYING!! regardless to whether it was public or not. Babies need food whenever, whereever and they are certainly not going to wait until you find a more 'private' place. We need to realize that breastfeeding is the SOLE reason women have breast. Just because they have uses for sexual pleasure doesn't mean that's all there is to them. And for you to say that when you have a kid you will breastfeed in private is ridiculous. I'm a teen and know this! When that baby wants food and you're miles from home with no 'bathroom' (which is a disgusting idea by-the-way), I bet you'll 'whip one out' to appease the child!
I breastfed all 3 of my children for about 9 months each. Not one time did I have to show my breasts in public. I breastfed in public but I descreetly covered myself with a light baby blanket.
Once, on a bench in WalMart, a lady asked me if I was cold...I told her that I was feeding my child. She said, "The things you young girls can do...I would've never known there was a baby in there." At the time, my daughter was about 6 months old.
I think you should be able to breastfeed anywhere but I think you should consider others. Cover that tit up ladies. Besides, there might be young children around that don't understand why you are letting it all hang out and they shouldn't have to. You can be covered and feed at the same time.
ONLY IN AMRICA!!!! This has to be the most uptight place in the world. Breastfeeding is a natural part of life an mothers should not have to hide when feeding their child.
Anything to do with a naked body people tend to freak out especially in public. Its just a boob people dont act like 14 year old boys.
I have had 4 children including a set of twins and breastfed all of them until roughly 20 months each. I have never seen such dribble as i have here.
what is all this crap about having to go and sit in public toilets. sitting on a loo to breastfeed? isnt america far enough advanced to have mothers rooms? or parents rooms? where there are all the mod cons and comforts for nursing mothers or mums that just want to rest whilst out with the toddlers. I know Australia has them everywhere. and if you dont feel you should be "locked away" to feed why not be discreet. sit somewhere where u can feed without bringing undue attention on yourself. it is not about being a prude but being a person brought up with manners and consideration for others. that is what it all boils down to. so much anger in losing their rights is spoken above.., but every one has rights so why do you so quickly disregard theirs?
When i was feeding my first born we were in a local bar. i was sitting there at a table covered up feeding my son.. (covers dont have to be tight to annoy ur child either) and a woman walks into the bar with her 3 yrd old.. she sits at bar with all these older men around.. pulls out her bood for the kid to suck on. 5 mins later the kid walks off and she leaves the boob out on the bar( yes it was that big) in full view for everyone. that was was just rude. no one knew what i was doing.. nor cared but she caused quiet a stir.
now stop telling ppl its only a boob.. or calling men perverts for looking.. and comment "only in america." What i would be concerned about it the scarcity of morals, manners and just plain consideration for fellow man that seems to be rapidly slipping by the way side in america.
Amy & John--I urge you to rethink your position on this one. You're sending the message to many potential nursing mothers that breastfeeding is icky and embarrassing. Which it's not at all. If you're so offended, turn your head. Simple as that.
PS--It is the LAW in most states that exposing any part of the breast in order to breastfeed is NOT an act of indecent exposure and a mother has the right to nurse her child any place in which she is otherwise entitled to be.
I wanted to let you know that in NYC it is 100% legal for both woman and men to go topless breastfeeding or not.
I have been breast feeding for over 2 years now and using a cover on a young child birth to about 3 months is very easy, using a cover on an older child can be next to impossible. Not all babies like having their heads completely covered. Nursing covers while a very handy tool for mothers that are nervous or just learning also are not unlike a huge neon sign that screams LOOK AT ME I AM NURSING. They draw more attention then if you just sat down and nursed your baby.
I prefer the double shirt method of a nursing tank underneath a regular top. Lift the bottom of the regular top up and unclasp the nursing tank. My stomach is covered and the kiddo can nurse.
Nursing a child is not the same thing as having sex or using the restroom. It is a child eating it is the biological norm for our species. It is JUST a breast, it has a function and breast feeding is one of those functions. I find it very disturbing that we can be ok with the amount of skin shown in Vouge, on TV, in movies yet a mother feeding a child is wrong and must be kept private. Where are our nations priorities? If you google you can find MANY b&w photos of mothers breast feeding in public in time periods where women had much less freedom then they do today. So if it was ok for a woman to breastfeed in public in the 1930's (and further back then that) why in the year 2008 is it wrong?
i am not a mother. now, i understand the need for "feeding time" with mother and baby... however, i do not believe that everyone else around you needs to be invited to this particular meal...
i went to applebee's the other day and a woman only a table or two over just whipped out her boob and i'm thinking... "really??"... i was disgusted and could not finish my meal.
i don't really think that time eras or tv have anything to do with it. it is a respect issue for those around you. i understand that the child has to be fed. however, i do not believe that other women who are out with their boyfriends and husbands appreciate the fact that other women in restaurants or public places just flop it on out there for all the world to see...
all people have different levels of moral codes and boundaries, however the "public" view is off-kilter compared to other "priorities" of the actual pool of human beings, if you will.
sure, smutty movies and showing skin is something that is popular, but not all men and women choose to partake in that class of interest.
it has nothing to do with the matter of the nation. NOR is it a matter of turning the head.
one mother breast feeding versus a crowded restaurant? i'm sorry, but we cannot all accommodate for your boob.
it is still offensive. you wouldn't pull down your pants and have sex in public. this may seem like a totally different subject, and sure in this postmodern society it is considered to be so. but the original intent of sex is to what?? reproduce. not exactly something you would do in public. considering this, the act of breast feeding ALSO was never intended to be something gross or offensive, but it is and that is what these mothers need to realize.
now if you're going to use a time-era argument, it might be useful to research what all was going on in the time periods to better understand what "individual values" and "public/society values" were incorporated in all.
nevertheless, i am sure the public breast-feeders more than likely would not agree with my standpoint. some still say, "gosh, turn your head!!"... well, if a child is beat in public and cries, or any type of "break" in a "normalized" pattern occurs, it ISN'T something we can just turn our heads at. it changes the complete mood of the room. it is not something that can just be ignored.
and i think i can speak for some when i say when i'm trying to eat soup at o'charleys or a salad at applebee's, i don't wanna hear or see a kid slurping off a full-on boob. the reason i go to restaurants is to enjoy myself and the company i bring with me. there's a reason that cows are milked in a barn, a reason they created breast-pumps, feeding blankets, and restrooms with a sit-down area... it's a matter of respect and class. sorry, but if we all wanted to see some boobage, i think we have more than enough resources now-days to access it.
Simple solution if a mother is breastfeeding and you notice she is doing so then don't look at her look at the person you are with and continue to go about your day/evening. Why be all up in what someone else is doing at their table anyway?
I am not a cow I don't need a barn to feed my child, I am not going to sit on a toilet or on the floor in the bathroom as restaurants such as Applebee's do not have nursing lounges. If it offends you take YOUR meal and go eat IT on the toilet. Why would I pump my milk into a bottle that my child will then refuse to eat from because A. I am right there he wants the stuff straight from the source, B. he has always refused anything but water when it was in a bottle. So why am I going to cause him a child to get upset because an adult can't handle a mother feeding her child? Sorry not going to happen.
Again how am I going to cover said child's head when he doe not like his head covered? I am likely to actually flash you if I try to cover his head because he will be more worried about getting the blanket/cover off his head then staying latched on.
SEX and breastfeeding are not on the same level at all. There is nothing sexual about breastfeeding a child NOTHING. It is a western thought process that boob always = sex. That again is not MY problem. If the freaking VATICAN wants to show Mary's breast while breastfeeding Jesus in art (google it) in CATHOLIC (ie: a more prudish religion) art then surely it can not be all that offensive.
Last but not least you can not even see anything when I nurse my son NADA not skin at all because of my nursing tank under a regular top and his head covers my nipple. Even if you COULD see some skin why are you staring so hard at my feeding my child? Why are you LOOKING to find something offensive in the feeding of my child?
My priorities are just fine, i wish more Americans could get their's in line and see that it is a normal healthy thing to do. Not something to be hidden away and done in secret as if it is a dirty shameful task.
(I am using me, my, and mine but I mean it in a general sense. I could be any woman any where breast feeding her child)
I personally think that its a intimate thing that should be done privately. Regardless if you are feeding your child, you don't just walk around with your boob hanging out, its rude. If you need to feed your baby, you can go away from people and do it. There are no excuses seriously come on now!
ps. I have a child, and I never breastfed him in public like that, I absolutely hate when I am out at dinner or something, and I see a women breastfeeding her baby, like its nothing. I actually told a women one time to cover up, my son didn't need to see that. I mean like, you could see everything, it was ridiculous!
Ok this subject has really got me fired up!!! I have three grown children who were breastfed as babies. I have managed to nurse my children in public w/o drawing any attention to myself. I have nursed them in the back of city buses and in the back pews and back hallways of my CATHOLIC CHURCH. I have always used a light recieving blanket to cover up. I guess people fail to realize that these lumps on my chest are not for DECORATIONS ONLY and that they are here to serve a purpose by feeding my children. And to really give you all something to talk about, I was listening to a radio morning show in K.C. where this "Shock Jock" just for laughs had a guest on who was toatally against breastfeeding period, this Jackass proved his title by saying that breastfeeding should be outlawed because it is a form of child molestation / abuse. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!! I just wanted to reach through that radio and choke the cowboy walking snot out of that idiot. Breastfeeding can be done in public with decorum and common sense. Yes I believe that feeding your child in a timely manner should come first (to deny this to a child is abuse). This is something that has been going on for centuries to ensure mankinds survival. And Who knows with all this contaminating of food products going on, this may be the only way to feed our children uncontaminied, 100% natural product.