Racy Roommate

My boyfriend neglected to mention that his roommate is a hot single woman

Q: DEAR AMY VS. JOHN:  My boyfriend Stephen has been living with his two best friends (both guys) for over two years. Then last month, one of his buddies moved out because he got a job in another city. So Stephen tells me, "one of our old friends from high school will be moving in to take his place." But he never mentioned that this "friend" is a very good-looking, single girl who walks around in a tank top and no bra. Whenever I asked about the new roommate, he'd change the subject. Plus, I noticed he'd been avoiding having me over recently. So I decided to stop by, without calling. This new roommate opened the door, and now I'm furious. We're fighting like crazy. He keeps saying, "What's your problem?! She's just a friend and there's nothing going on." Help!   

(submitted by Melissa14 summarized above)

A: JOHN: Why not just trust your boyfriend? If there's no history between them, why should something suddenly develop? Look Melissa14, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. And unless you want to come off as a controlling you-know-what, you can't beat 'em.  Your smartest move here is to become best pals with this roommate chick as soon as possible. Get her on your side early, and you'll have nothing to worry about. She can even become an asset. If the live-in hottie likes you, she'll give you inside information about candid late night discussions. She'll help him pick out better gifts for you, and she'll generally influence Stephen to treat you well. BUT--if she senses you're threatened and feeling adversarial, well, you know what women are like. It won't be pretty, and you'll definitely be the one left out in the cold. Study up on Olivia de Havilland's character in "Gone With The Wind." The more "Melanie" you can be here, the better.

A: AMY:  So that's it? Be more "Melanie" and you'll miraculously solve this bra-less roommate problem? Dumb advice. May I remind you (since I'm the one who forced you to watch "Gone With The Wind" in the first place) that the character of "Melanie" is just a wimp and a fool, who turns a blind eye while the gorgeous, charming minx "Scarlett O'Hara" pursues Melanie's dopey husband "Ashley Wilkes"--right under her nose. Plus, Melanie ends up dead. Your strategy is, befriend this girl (and what, braid each other's hair and have pillow fights?) as a way to spy on Stephen. Unfortunately, your plan is very naïve. Do you honestly believe that this girl won't sleep with Stephen if she's chummy with Melissa14? Are you joking? If two people really want to do it, they will. In fact, she'll probably get more of a thrill out of "doing it" if they're friends. Let's face it; it's inappropriate for a guy to be living in such close, intimate quarters with a single, tank-top wearing female. So you need to calmly inform Stephen:  "I prefer that you don't live with a woman; so if you want to keep dating me, you'll have to change your living situation immediately." If he cares about you, he will.