Sexual Perks At Work

Should my best friend get promoted for sleeping with the boss?

By Amy Kean and John D. Schwartz

Q: DEAR AMY VS. JOHN:  I'm 31, and I've worked for a big New Jersey bank, along with my best friend, since 2002. We're both single, and have been roommates for the last three years. I'm very hardworking and ambitious, so I've always had a slightly higher position than her. This difference between us was never an issue. But then--all of a sudden--she gets a huge raise and promotion two months ago. I was shocked. Now she's my supervisor, and making an extra 23K--which really bugs me. She definitely didn't deserve a promotion. I did! The other night, I suggested we go out for drinks, and that's when she got really drunk and confessed, "You know I only got this new job because I'm sleeping with Jonathan." He's our division head, and he's very old (58!) and married with four kids! She says that she "doesn't care about his stupid family." I'm so angry now, and I want to report them both. But I'm the only one who knows about it, so she'll know it came from me. Any advice?

(submitted by gillmoo   summarized above)

A: AMY:  Wouldn't it be amazing if someone stumbled upon this advice blog, read the question above and screamed, "Wait a minute! My husband Jonathan is 58, and we have four kids...and he's a division head at a bank in New Jersey, and he just gave a young woman a big promotion two months ago!" Ah, such sweet justice. Sadly, perfect things like that never happen. Philandering pigs like this "division head" rarely get busted. They just keep on abusing their power, and bimbos (desperate for promotions) are only too happy to sleep their way up the corporate ladder. Neither the boss nor the mistress ever consider those they're hurting. (Remember Monica Lewinsky?) You know what? Since you've invested six long years being "hardworking and ambitious" at this damn job, I think that you should report them both. But be very careful. You don't want anyone to connect the dots and realize you're the snitch. You must send an anonymous, brief note to top management about the affair and the resulting (undeserved) promotion. It's not fair, so why should you sit back and accept this crap.

JOHN:  Hold on a second! Isn't she your best friend? And, how's she going to pay her share of the rent if you get her fired? Are you going to kick her out of the apartment as well? (Amy would.) I agree that she's being sleazy and insensitive but, as her friend, shouldn't you try to talk to her first, to try to show her the error of her ways? Don't forget, there's a good chance that Amy's tattletale plan will completely backfire. What if you send the anonymous note, and Jonathan gets a "talking to" but denies all impropriety? Then nothing will change. But your friend will still assume that you sent the note and she'll definitely tell Jonathan. Don't be surprised if it's you who suddenly gets transferred or even fired. Before you go that route, I suggest you try to convince her to stop sleeping with the married boss. In the meantime, you should look for a better job somewhere else--somewhere you'll be more appreciated. Otherwise, just sleep with the guy above division head and jump right over both of them.