Two Brides, Two Weekends

Why does she want to get married one weekend before me?

By Amy Kean and John D. Schwartz

DEAR AMY VS. JOHN:  I've had the same two best friends since I was six: Karen and Meg. I thought we were even closer than real sisters. We grew up on the same street. And now we all live in the same small town, still hanging out almost every night, going out to bars, parties, shopping etc. Believe it or not, all three of our boyfriends are close now too. Everything was good, until Meg suddenly announces (last week!) that she's planned her wedding ONE weekend before mine. That's right--exactly one weekend before mine (which is scheduled for Labor Day weekend 2009). I've been engaged for almost two years, everything already arranged and rented, deposits made. As one of my bridesmaids, Meg's been completely involved with all these plans. In fact, she even helped me pick out the date, the dress, the place, the "beachy" theme--everything. Now, all of a sudden, she's going to have an identical beach wedding--one week before mine!! Why? She already has a two-month-old baby with her fiancé. So I asked her, "What's the big rush now?" She snapped back at me, "We're getting married before the baby's one; plus, we can do whatever the hell we want." I'm so crazy-mad now; I want to kill her.

(submitted by Jennie81    summarized above)


AMY:  I don't blame you--that beach isn't big enough for two brides. What can I say? Meg's an immature, backstabbing, jealous freak! (This is the kind of nasty, weird stuff that happens when girlfriends are way too close.) It appears that she was only "helping" with your upcoming Labor Day wedding plans, because she was eager to do some wedding research herself. So don't be surprised if she serves the same "beachy" food, hires the same band, and is wearing the same strapless gown as you. She's obviously trying to steal your thunder; you already know that. But you can't allow her obnoxious behavior to derail your enthusiasm for your own wedding. OK, you thought you two were "even closer than sisters," but--sorry--you're not. Get over it. You're furious, so you probably want to boycott Meg's wedding altogether now, right? But trust me, you should go anyway. That way, you'll still have a chance to make small, last-minute changes to ensure that your wedding's better than hers. Think of Meg's copy-cat wedding as a mere dress rehearsal for yours.  




JOHN:  Amy does not trust women! So take her advice with a grain of salt. If Meg is (or was) one of your two best friends, why don't you just ask her--calmly--why she chose a date so close to yours? Perhaps she has a very good reason, like it was the only weekend the location was available, or it was the only weekend her father could be released from prison. Is it really so terrible for her wedding to take place a week before yours? What's the big deal? You're still getting married to your fiancé, just as you've planned it for the past two years. So what if Meg copies your wedding. She's your best friend; try to be happy for her anyway. Celebrate with her, and she'll celebrate with you. In fact, why not just combine the two events and have a big double wedding on the beach, on the exact same day? Don't be a "Bridezilla" about this. In the grand scheme of life, it doesn't matter.