Wanted: Romantic Getaway

My cheapskate boyfriend refuses to take me on a trip.

By Amy Kean and John D. Schwartz

Q: DEAR AMY VS. JOHN:  My friend Andrea is renting a four-bedroom condo in the Florida Keys for six days this February. It's pretty expensive, so she invited three of us (and our boyfriends) to come along and split the rent, food, drinks etc. I was so excited, but when I asked my boyfriend of three years, Eddie, he wasn't happy. "No way!--I don't want to get stuck in a condo with three other couples; plus we have no extra money right now," But guess what--Eddie never misses his annual "guys only" four-day golf trip to Scottsdale every April (costing over $1600 per person!). So why won't he spend $950 (per couple) on a romantic trip just to make me happy for once?! He never takes me anywhere. We ended up having a huge fight about it, and he screamed, "If you want to go on the stupid trip, just go by yourself--I don't even care!" I'm so mad now, I feel like going alone. Should I?

(submitted by Suzeloo; summarized above)

A: AMY:  Eddie--like 95 percent of men--is a selfish jerk. It's funny; guys only remember their super-tight budgets when their girlfriends or wives mention something they want, like a new couch, ballet tickets, or a second baby. But when it comes to something men desire, like a flat-screen TV, season tickets or another electric guitar, then it's a whole different story. Suddenly it's, "Sure! Why not--you only live once." Want my advice? GO AHEAD and take the Florida trip without Eddie--if you can afford to pay your own way. Who cares if you're the only one there without a boyfriend? (Everyone will probably be jealous.) Put on a tiny red bikini, go scuba diving, flirt with charming strangers, dance all night. Have the sexiest, wildest trip of your entire life. Hopefully, you'll meet a new, better man who appreciates you. By the way, it's especially unacceptable for Eddie to refuse you during the "love month" of February. (During the weeks before, and after Valentine's Day, all men should do everything in their power to make their sweethearts feel loved and cherished.) Eddie doesn't put your feelings first, so you need to dump him.

JOHN: Ninety-five percent of men are selfish jerks? Well, what percentage of women see Valentine's Day, no, I'm sorry, Valentine's Month as a special holiday just for them? Talk about selfish! Why is the Valentine's "celebration" only about men doing special romantic things for women?

Before you dump your long-time boyfriend to go get drunk in the Florida Keys, I have a question for you: Did you ask Eddie if he was interested in this trip, or did you demand that he take you on this trip. There's a big difference. It sounds like Eddie felt like a trapped rat suddenly, stuck in Florida on some sort of girlie, concocted couples retreat. I suggest you try a new approach. Give it a rest for a day or two, and find out if there are any golf courses near this Florida condo. Then ask if any of the other boyfriends play golf. I guarantee that if you show him pictures on the Internet of a challenging new golf course and tell him that another guy is bringing his clubs, he'll change his tune.