Where's My Rent?

I want my lazy stepdaughter to pay rent.

By Amy Kean and John D. Schwartz

Q: DEAR AMY VS. JOHN:  I'm 41, and I lost my long-time job at a big insurance company last November. I've been unemployed and miserable ever since, especially because of my tense living arrangement. I live with my second wife in the house I grew up in, which I inherited from my parents. When we got married in 2006, she moved in and we were really happy for about seven months--until her pregnant, unmarried daughter, Jill, moved in with us because she "had nowhere else to go." I put up with it and said nothing, even though she's never worked, paid rent, or showed any appreciation to me for letting her live with us. Jill regularly dumps her little boy on us every time she feels like going out with her girlfriends to get drunk. She'll be 22 in May, and she's still unemployed, so I mentioned to my wife, "Maybe Jill could pay some rent since I'm out-of-work and we could really use the money?" (My wife and I completely support Jill and her son.) My wife flew off the handle, saying, "You've always hated Jill because she's not yours!" I don't hate her, but I'm sick of being a fool. Don't you think my wife should tell her to get a job and pay rent? 


(submitted by rockinreed     summarized above)



A:JOHN:  All three of them should pay rent!--your wife, your freeloading stepdaughter and the kid too! Tell Jill to get that toddler some headshots and start bringing him around to commercial casting agents. If she could get him in one national commercial, she could pay you rent for the next two years! Better yet, she could get her own place. Everybody's got to pull his or her own weight in these trying economic times. (Fine, maybe your wife and her grandchild don't have to pay rent, but you get the point.) Since you've lost your job, your wife and stepdaughter should be doing whatever they can to help make ends meet while you get yourself back in the game. If Jill likes going out drinking with her friends so much, and you and your wife are already babysitting regularly, Jill should get a bartending job three nights a week, so she can contribute a couple hundred bucks a month. It's definitely your wife's responsibility, however, to set her daughter straight.  


AMY:  I suppose you'd like me to pay you rent in my own home too, huh? (Ha!--good luck with that.) They're married. So it's fifty percent the wife's home now, even though he inherited the house from his parents. So why does this guy think he's the damn landlord? (Of course, I'm assuming that they don't have some unusual prenup stating otherwise.) OK, back to "rockinreed": If you love this "second wife" of yours, shouldn't you, at least, pretend to care about her deadbeat daughter and baby grandson--even if they're not technically related to you? Listen, I agree; Jill certainly sounds like an irresponsible parasite. But obviously her mother--your wife--will never admit that. So yeah, everyone should try to pitch in. But if you can't secure a job--after years of solid experience--what makes you think it'll be so easy for Jill to land a job? Bartending? Is that really an appropriate job for a 21-year-old mother of a toddler?! I don't think so. Times are tough, no question. But to suddenly demand that Jill pay rent seems a little, well, harsh. Instead, I suggest you sit down with your wife, and Jill and say, "OK, Family, how are going to get through this recession together?" You'll get better results.