Listen to Your Mother!

Some smart advice from our moms

By Amy Kean and John D. Schwartz


AMY:  Since this Sunday is Mother's Day, John and I thought now would be the perfect time to honor our mothers, and reflect on the many lessons they taught us. My mother is known for her top-notch, unfiltered advice; she puts Dr. Phil to shame. In fact, I could write a book--no, a lucrative book series!--based entirely on her advice. (Too bad my mother would promptly sue me for royalties.)

Anyway, here are a few of her more serious pearls of wisdom.




1)    "NEVER BE A FOLLOWER":  Growing up, this was a BIG one. She'd say, "Who cares if all your friends are buying those stupid shoes; don't you want to stand out and be unique? Let's pick something completely different." When I was in college, she knew that--even if I attended a wild frat party--I'd never fall into the trap of drinking and "hooking up" with some jerk. She taught me to stay true to myself, and never be influenced by the behavior or attitudes of those around me. 

2)    "LOVE YOURSELF FIRST":  Another great one. Women have a tendency to think that they're supposed to give all of their love, attention and affection to others: boyfriends, husbands, children and friends. My mother disagrees. She believes women MUST love themselves--first and foremost. So when I call her to discuss a tricky situation or problem, she always responds, "Just make sure you're happy first, then the rest will fall into place." (See, if I'm selfish, it's all her fault.)
 

3)    NEVER LET YOUR HUSBAND HOLD THE PURSE STRINGS:  John loves this one. My mother firmly believes that once a husband knows he's calling the shots financially, he thinks he also controls all aspects of the relationship. So she suggests that all wives make sure they're completely involved in all financial decisions. Wives should never just "let him take care of everything."  Oh, and maintain separate bank accounts, always.
 
4)    DON'T DO MUCH HOUSEWORK:  John loves this one too. It's funny because my mother has the most spotless, pristine, organized home on earth. She's a workaholic, and she loves cleaning, polishing and especially ironing. But recently she's begun to question the amount of time and effort she's always put into her home, despite her love of order. She says, "I should've done less and expected more help from your father; so don't fall into the same dump trap with John." I took this one to heart! I regularly stop myself from dusting, ironing and vacuuming--Mother's orders!

5)    MAKE SURE YOUR HUSBAND PUTS YOU FIRST:  My mother believes that far too many women settle for scraps when it comes to marriage. Deep down, they don't think they deserve to be put first, so--guess what--they never are. She thinks that all women deserve to be with a man who puts her feelings before all else. If not, a woman is far better off staying single.

 
JOHN:  Obviously I'm thankful that my mother taught me all the big important things like "Try to be nice,"  "Say please and thank you," "Do your best in school," "Take what your wife says with a grain of salt"... but she also taught me some unexpected little things--things that have really stuck with me:
 
1)    After you've worn a sweater, bunch up the sleeves lengthwise and gently stretch them from shoulder to cuff. Then, give a little extra tug just at the cuff. This trick will help keep your sweaters from getting those terrible sagged out elbows and sloppy stretched out hems.

2)    Mashed potatoes are most delicious when they are ½ butter.

3)    Staying up all night to accomplish a task is not always bad. In fact, it's how some people work best.

4)    If you find your kid's grade school project interesting, just do it for him.  (I'm really looking forward to repeating this lesson with my own kid--most likely in conjunction with item No. 3)

5)    It pays to use valuable space in your home to store tons of cardboard boxes, heavyweight paper shopping bags and irregularly shaped pieces of packing foam "just in case."  The euphoria experienced the one time every ten years when someone actually uses one of these items is so satisfying, it carries you through the next ten years.


HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM!!