Breaking Points

Alaina finds that her patience is being tested like never before.

By Alaina Sheer

I am a relatively patient person. 

And, as my baby rapidly transformed into a toddler and is now on the brink of boydom I'm finding my patience is being tested like never before. When I do "lose it", which often involves me telling Benjamin to "go up to your room for quiet time NOW," the voice that emerges is one I didn't even know I had. 

Once the dust settles I scold myself for losing control and feel like a horrible mother for not maintaining my patient balance. After I catch my breath I walk up to his room and we have a little "talk" about what happened. He seems to understand, we kiss and make up and all is well. But inevitably it will happen again. At least in my world it will, perhaps there are impeccably balanced mothers out there who never lose their cool but I am definitely not one of them. 

I call the things that absolutely rock me to my core - no matter what my mood or the time of day - my breaking points. They're the things that if done - push me into a point where we I am no longer a mother, but just a human who can't take it anymore.

Here are my breaking points - I'm hoping you'll also share yours. 

1. The poop finger. I think this nasty habit of Benjamin's has subsided for the time being but often when I change his diaper he has to explore with his fingers.

"No," I say, "DO NOT put your finger near the poo."

But he does it anyway. He has to - he's a boy.  I get that part. But when he takes said finger and brings them toward my face, my shirt, my hair - anything on my person - I freak out. I dodge and duck but sometimes he wins to a squeal of delight because seeing mommy act like that is probably pretty damn funny. 

2. Hitting. Whenever Benjamin doesn't get his way in a big way, for example - when we have to leave a store he loves or go to school when he just wants to stay home - a tantrum ensues. I do my best to hold his little arms at his sides but he always manages to pull them out and then he starts hitting. I flinch - actually flinch and then after I've contained him in his car seat I feel like melting down into a big pile of tears. It's that hard. 

3. Phone licking. The other night my little sister called. 

"Do you want to talk to Benjamin?" I asked. 

"Sure," she said reluctantly. As a childless twenty-something talking to toddlers isn't exactly her favorite thing to do, but she entertains the idea. I hand Benjamin my iPhone and he turns his little mouth, opens it and then licks the front screen like it's a Popsicle. 

I let him finish his "conversation" after the licking episode but he hasn't seen the phone since. I still have to get my head around the idea of my precious iPhone perishing at the hands of my 2-year-old's tongue. 

4. Bugs and worms. I'm a girly-girl for sure - always have been. It didn't take Benjamin long to figure out that chasing Mommy with worms or other creepy crawlies would turn her into a screaming banshee. The key with toddlers is to ignore the behavior you want to stop, but I'm sorry if he's coming at me with a bug - there's nothing I can do but scream in utter horror. 

What are your breaking points? Those moments when you lose your cool? Please share so I know I'm not alone.