Public Displays of Affection

I bring my son everywhere - the grocery, restaurants and even hair salons.

By Alaina Sheer

The sweet, understanding glances from my fellow mothers and chuckles from friendly fathers never cease to calm me down or make me feel just a tad stronger, so why is it that even one nasty glance manages to shake me to my core - leaving me doubting my ability to parent properly?

Before I had Benjamin I had a nephew and also three younger siblings. Children, it seemed, were just a natural part of life - of our human existence, much like the elderly or the handicapped. I know, that's a weird analogy - but think about it - we are all in this together.

And weren't we all children once? And won't we all (hopefully) be old and gray one day?


When Benjamin starts acting out in a public place I often don't react as I would at home, for fear of what people would think of my stern "Super Nanny" voice. I know from experience that if I scold him in public or deny him the treat he is begging for a tantrum will ensue. Rather than risking the discomfort of my fellow shoppers, or the nasty glares I cave and give him what he's demanding. There are exceptions and there have been many times when I've hauled my son out of a store kicking and screaming, but for the most part I give in to society's stare and in turn drop the ball on disciplining my child.

It's a vicious cycle, as every parent knows. I am by no means a seasoned parent. I'm a young, first-time mother and also a single mother. I'm well aware that caving one day equals a tantrum ten times worse the next day but it's just easier.

But something happened last week... I took Benjamin, who is coming up on three-years-old, to a hair salon. I had to get my hair cut, I couldn't find a sitter. He was an angel the entire time. No tantrums. No tossing things. In fact, he was perfect. The owner of the salon didn't agree. From her vantage point a boy running amuck, playing and gabbing with her patrons was the equivalent to having a wild pig in her midst. After I paid she ended up berating me in front of the entire shop, customers and all. Read about the entire ordeal here.

Compared to that experience, no nasty glare can hurt me or shake me. From now on I am going to stand up for my rights as a mother to discipline and perhaps, even yell (gasp) at my child in public. And if that makes you feel uncomfortable then why don't you leave the store and go have a nice coffee by yourself - because you can. You have that choice - I don't.

What have been your worst experiences in public with your child? Do you think people without children have a right to feel frustrated by little ones in public?