Sex up your marriage.

I know you've read a million articles on improving your sex life but I think I can give you some down to earth, practical advice. After all, I am a single mother - sex, when it does surface - is hard work. The act itself is easy (and so worth it) but the getting there... well, that's another story.

There have been several times when, after an incredibly long work week I've had to restrain myself from canceling on dates with boyfriends - boyfriends who I hadn't even seen in weeks. I often imagined how easy it would be to turn down a husband, someone I wouldn't need to impress or even miss. 

Here are a few tricks I've learned along the way.

How to Spice up Your Sex Life (when you are over worked, over stressed and bored with your partner).

1. Stop thinking about it. Women tend to over think everything while our male counterparts are just the opposite. The more we think about sex and talk about sex (to them) the more they'll likely be completely mystified or frustrated. Chances are your man isn't going to figure out how to get you in the mood anytime soon. So rather than waiting on him -- get yourself in the mood.  

My secret? A cold beer, candles, a bath and a good book. But I don't do this on the night when I actually have a date - no, that would be impossible - there's no time on date night. I do it the night before a date. 

2. Get physical. Before the kids even go to sleep bundle them all up and head outside for a long walk. The fresh air will invigorate you and the brief exercise will get your body revved up for the big show. Or pop a CD in and have a dance off with the kids. I often do one of these two or both on a date night, long before he even shows up. Read this article from Discovery Health on great sex exercises. 

3. Change things up. Last Valentine's Day I bought new perfume for myself and some sexy after shave for my boyfriend. Read about the results here. It shocked me that something like a simple aroma shift could invigorate our relationship. What if you went so far as to make over your bedroom? Choose romantic colors like a deep lavender or a sage green. Here's a great piece on how to make your bedroom a romantic cocoon.

4. Fool yourself. One of the best things about being single (and a mother) is getting dressed up for a date. But, when you're married, the gig is up. You often get ready for date night together. Try this instead. 

Have your husband go straight from work to a happy hour with the guys and then meet him up later. You could also reverse the scenario and have him meet you up after tucking in the kids. Mix and match your favorite date outfits and come up with an entirely new ensemble. You'll show up feeling confident and gorgeous and he'll be knocked off of his feet. Bottom line - pretend like it's your first date (or one of them).

5. Buy some new lingerie. But don't tell him until you're wearing it. Enough said.