Victory is Sweet

My little man is back in his bed. By Alaina Sheer I shared my son's sudden demand to sleep in my bed (totally my fault) with you last month and after writing that post something clicked. I realized that as much as I liked snuggling with him at night I had made a decision when he was six-months-old to sleep in separate beds. By back peddling on the one rule I'd always enforced I had lost a huge battle. My little monkey was suddenly my boss.

And after a few weeks of sleeping in my bed he wasn't even falling asleep quickly. My crutch was morphing into a burden. When I left my husband Benjamin was just four months old. He had been sleeping next to me in bed since birth, if he had been sleeping at all. Most of his sleep came during the day in scattered naps. But after the six month mark I started putting him down in his crib. Every night I'd read the same book last, "Good night Moon." That and a few other sleep triggers worked like charms. But in the middle of the night Benjamin would inevitably wake up at least three times and each time I'd wander into his room to calm him back down. This lasted until he was 15-months-old. And with zero co-parenting partners that meant, that yes, I was extremely sleep deprived for 15 months of my life. It wasn't pretty. It all ended when a sales woman called on me at work. She happened to be a single mother and immediately we got to talking about tips and secrets. Then she told me hers - "don't go in there. It will take seven days and he'll scream his heart out but, whatever you do, don't go in." And that's what I did. I listened by the door, often crouching and peaking in to make sure he was okay but that was it. And sure enough, seven days later he was sleeping through the night. Ever since then I have been one to ask my fellow mothers, single or not, for advice. I practically beg them to tell me everything they know. So when you all told me to follow my gut I did. And I knew it was time for Benjamin to re-assume his position as child and me to become his mother. I'm not sure how I did it but I tapped into my inner mommy strength, mustered up every bit of calm and firm patience I had in me and told him point blank,"you are sleeping in your bed tonight." There was no question in my voice and he sensed that. He knew mommy was back. It wasn't easy though. He threw a few fits at bed time for two or three nights but since then we've been on cruise control. And now that calm, firm and sometimes mean mommy has been winning nearly every battle all day long, every day.