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Breast Wars
Last week the blogosphere erupted with a nasty breast feeding debate.
By Alaina Sheer
A very popular mom blogger Her Bad Mother, was criticized (I think that's a fair word, hope it is) by the Daily Blonde for breast feeding another woman's child at the Mom 2.0 Conference.
Here's what happened.
Catherine, of Her Bad Mother, had forgotten her breast pump at home for this one night away from her nursing baby. If you've breast fed just that thought can make you yelp in pain. The pain of an engorged breast is one of the most painful and downright uncomfortable things a woman can experience - believe me, I know.
While at the conference Catherine met another nursing mother and after spending the day together this mother offered her hungry baby to Catherine so she could relieve that pain. This after Catherine had spent the entire morning trying to hand express her milk to no avail. The Daily Blonde left the conference, pondered what she saw and decided to write about it - not knowing the woman she witnessed breast feeding was in fact Her Bad Mother, who has an army of readers.
Needless to say it got very, very ugly.
Start here with Her Bad Mother's post and then read the Daily Blonde's Rebuttal post.
I'm not sure what to make of this. I can completely understand that desperate need to express milk and had I been in the same situation I may have done the same but I would not have done it in public and then tweeted about it. Had I done that, I would have expected reaction from others in the blogosphere like the post by the Daily Blonde. I mean, it's odd to breast feed another woman's child - this, while I believe is totally acceptable - does not happen every day.
To each her own and there's mine. I can see both sides and just hope no one's feelings are hurt. It's all fair in the blogging world.
Copyright 2009 WE: Women's Entertainment LLC. All rights reserved.
Oh my....this is a fair post but can I clear something up? It wasn't a Mom 2.0 conference (What is that and did I miss it? lol). It was a parenting conference.
Also...said mother did not spend the "day" with other said mother. They met in the morning at a brief continental breakfast. We were all at a table together. Then we were in the conference for several hours. Woman with baby was not sitting with mother with sore breasts. At lunch, woman with baby sat at my table with her cutie pie little daughter. After lunch we went back to the conference. During activities (short activities were we quickly interacted with others there) I'm sure they spoke. We all mingled. At the end of the conference is when the breast relief happened.
Just to clear things up. Lots of confusion. That was hardly my intent. I was just making a comment about something that I wondered if everyone thought was normal ....or not.
Big blow up....crazy, crazy.
leave her alone. I'd like to see them with swollen sore breasts and hungry babies everywhere. hmmm....wonder what theyd do. so suck on that
Every day since this happened WEEKS ago I get a hate mail or two in my email inbox. Strange but people cannot let this go. It's as if I am the first human to ever comment on something controversial.
Popular mom blogger vs opinionated blogger who happens to be a great mom, too? WHO CARES?
This whole recounting is not even accurate and the blow up over my opinion is totally ridiculous. On top of all of this, it says in the above article that TDB criticized HBM? Where in the TDB post did she name anyone....I think this is just a way to get people up in arms about something. If it wasn't about breasts it would be about something else.
Up against an blogger's army? I guess HBM has a great fan club. That's impressive!
Hope the emails stop soon :)
Her Bad Mother was N O T criticized in TheDailyBlonde's post.
TheDailyBlonde simply described what she observed at the conference, WITHOUT naming names, and then went on to describe her OWN feelings on the topic of whether it is entirely wise to allow another woman to breastfeed your child. She discussed to topic *IN CONCEPT ONLY,* not pointing specifically at Catherine, but at "the whole idea."
It was commenters who named Catherine, in a sideways attempt to defend her, and made it personal.
Personally, I believe that what Catherine did is not such a big deal, BUT by tweeting about it while it was going on, she invited the public to scrutinize what should have been a private matter anyway, so why are we shocked that some scrutiny came to pass?
What bothers me most about this whole thing (and might actually be covered in some part of the train wreck this has become but I'll be damned if I can find it) is that TDB most certainly DID criticize the other mother. She (TDB) keeps touting that she kept it anonymous, but all of her readers knew about the event she attended, and she was quite clear in the fact that the situation took place at this same event. Based on the women who attended, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who she was talking about.
If she (TDB) had truly intended to keep the entire situation anonymous, and talk about the situation and not the women involved, then why not purport it as having taken place on a park bench, or an airplane, or in a magazine? Why be so specific? Why include any of the personal details of these women and children at all?
Sadly, TDB is getting exactly what she wanted by starting this whole thing, and that is attention. She's obviously willing to do whatever it takes to get noticed. She fancies herself witty and finds her own sarcasm to be refreshing, when in fact it is completely self-serving. Her blog seems to exist to criticize anyone who wanders into her radar, from the girl from high school who apparently had a rough go of life since graduation --and somehow deserved to be called a "douche bag" because of it-- to the handsome man who was more evolved than the men in the book she reviewed--until she didn't like his estimation of how she was handling her life. Turns out he wasn't so evolved after all, huh?
It's a crying shame that this is the sort of person to become popular in the blogosphere. She is shallow and self-absorbed, and is fueled on by the attention she's getting.
I imagine this comment will be grossly misrepresented all over twitter within a matter of minutes. Big surprise.
Now how can I not comment here...again? Who ever "does_not_matter" is (purely a made up name because said person wants to sheepishly walk away)....well, it really DOES NOT MATTER who you are but you're so off base I invite you to come have lunch with me some day. We'll talk face to face. Perhaps you might eat your words.
1. I did intend the situation to be anonymous. If I wanted to have it be a name calling post, I would have named the person. My post had nothing to do with that. You're just one sided. That's perfectly fine. However, how on earth did everyone know what conference I was at and moreover, who knew that HBM was there unless she tweeted about it? So, you see, she broadcast what she was doing and where she was. What the heck is the difference? I didn't tweet "HBM breastfeeding another baby" from the conference. I wrote a opinionated post about a woman at a conference. THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT IT WAS BECAUSE SHE BROUGHT IT TO PEOPLE'S ATTENTION via TWITTER. Hello? Are you really that brainwashed??
2. You seem to know my blog quite well. Do you read it that often because you hate it? lol Or do you just love to torture yourself. I don't ask you to read my blog--why do you continue to do so?
3. Douche bag...you're calling me out for saying that?? Are you serious? I don't use the F word on my blog but HBM does...that's OK though. Douche bag is horrid. I agree. You're sort of acting like one.
4. Criticize? No. Ever been to a comedy show or are you just a boring person? You'd laugh if Seinfeld was picking on someone in his childhood. Well, maybe not. I don't think you're smart enough to have a sense of humor. My writing might be snarky, but I have plenty of posts that aren't. Why don't you mention them??
5. Yes, I dated someone who was great and wrote about him often. He then offended me not once but several times telling me that I wasted my college degree being a full time Mom. Now, what kind of mother are YOU thinknig that's OK? He's not totally evolved...but what man is? I loved many things about him and do we ever really know everything about someone?? No. I made the decision to end a relationship because of what he said...but I didn't make a bad decision having the relationship with him to begin with. He loved my children and I loved his. It was a difference of opinion, OK smarty?
6. I'm not going to Twitter about you because you don't deserve the attention. I'm hardly self absorbed and far from shallow. I've raised 5 children for the past 8 years on my own. No support. Two parents who fell ill and passed away in the past 7 years. Two daughters through college and one of them continuing on to grad school. One just bought her own home, one has her first apartment...that she pays for with the money she earns in her CAREER. I paid for college and they also got scholarships. Three children at home who are excelling in school and rarely watch TV. They volunteer, took care of me for almost a year while I couldn't walk post accident and at the ages of 8, 10 and 13, know how to cook, do laundry, care for a recovering parent and respect each other.
Heard enough?? I figure you know so much about me that this will come as no news to you: I write my blog as an outlet. It's humor that I like and humor that makes an often challenging life a lot easier.
Now who has grossly misrepresented ME? You are not the type of person who I'd make fast friends with but YOU are blinded because you can't see past your one sidedness.
Enjoy your anger. You've got me all wrong. :)