Getting Back Out There?

Have I finally lost my steam? 

After my divorce and a five month cooling off period I dove right back into the dating pool and have been going full throttle ever since... until recently. Perhaps it's because there comes a point where every single woman, especially if she's a mother, just says, "That's it. I am done with trying." 

Before I had been jumping from date to date, barely taking a breather in between. But in the past few months - since my break up with Mr. Man - I've been taking it easy and going virtually dateless. All of this "me time" has been out of this world. Good for me. Good for Benjamin. Good for my career. 

I'm not saying I want to completely give up on dating. I don't. I want to be with someone but I'm in no rush and I'm not seeking him out. But spring is coming up (and you know what that means). In preparation for all of those spring flowers and everything that comes along with it I have been preparing myself mentally for dating again. 

Here's my dating prep list of stuff I need to do in order to date, as you'll see it's not easy. 

1. Pick up after yourself. Back in my glory days my living room was always up to snuff so a last minute date could pop over after Benjamin was sound asleep for some wine and couch cuddling. But now that Benjamin is a toddler my living room is speckled with paint splats, cluttered with random toy parts and even my stain resistent couch suddenly looks like it's been run through a snot factory. If I were to suddenly find a guy worth dating I'd have to snap my living room back into shape pronto. 

2. Stock up on facial mosturizer. This is a must when you're a dating single mom because when you've got a man the one thing you must sacrifice -- because nothing else can go -- is your sleep. The trick is to drink twice as much water as you normally would and to douse your face in mosturizer day and night. 

3. Save up for babysitter costs. In addition to possibly paying for drinks after dinner and your new date outfit there's also the babysitter cost. Dates are therefore incredibly expensive - for me often in the $60.00 - $120.00 range. This is another reason why I spend first dates on quick one hour lunch breaks or coffee dates. But if I like the guy, it's an entirely different story -- I'll want to see him and go out with him at least one night a week. If I dive back into the dating game I'll have to cut down on spending elsewhere to cover it all. 

4. Re-establish beauty routine. This is another time drain. Maintaining your appearance for a new man, at least for me, takes time. By this I mean, shaving your legs every night or every other night depending on how often you see him, self-tanning, painting your nails and toe nails. This is stuff I do regardless of dating but it's nice on busy weeks to just let it all go. Not an option when you're dating. 

5. Remember that a new studly man is not more important than everything else. This is the finest line we walk as dating single moms. It's easy to fall fast and hard and to forget other obligations. Because, as I said, something has to give to make way for a man. So what's it gonna be? As long as it's not the children or your job you should be fine. But any man who really loves you would never ask you to sacrifice either of those two things for him. Just something to keep in mind. 

Phew. See... no wonder I'm not seeking a man out. Dating shouldn't feel like work though. And even though wer'e single moms all of this comes easy when we've found the right guy.