What's Up Chuck

Pass the Jeans

2008-12-18T17:14:20Z

On the ties that bind.

By Chuck Nice

I was away from home this weekend performing stand-up, so my wife and daughter indulged their tradition of movie night. My absence gives them the perfect opportunity to have a girl's night in and hopefully makes my absence a little more bearable for my daughter. I say hopefully because I'd like to believe that my daughter misses me desperately when I travel and I don't want her to start looking forward to my departures so that she and her mother can have their party time. Since I feel as though I'm competing with my wife for my children's affections, I normally watch the movie with my daughter upon my return.

]]> Quantum of Solace, starring the best Bond ever, Daniel Craig. The reason why you can imagine my surprise is that they actually watched The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. I can't believe I missed the first one. The movie stars America Ferrera, Amber Tamblyn, Alexis Bledel and Blake Lively and centers on their struggle to maintain their friendships as they navigate one of the most confusing times in any young person's life - college. The young women have made a pact to pass along a pair of blue jeans to each member of their group along with a story from their recent life that they might stay connected. The girls experience tremendous strains on their relationships due to a combination of distance and the general challenges of adjusting to college life. Ultimately they realize that their bond of friendship is a fragile and delicate commodity that is to be cultivated and cherished, or it will be lost.

I asked my daughter why she liked this movie and she told me, "because the girls are very good friends who work things out." I resisted the temptation to tell her what my parents told me about friendship, which was: "If you find one friend in this life outside of us and your siblings, then you are a truly lucky person". My parents did me no small disservice by letting me in on such an onerous philosophy at such an early age. As I got older I began to realize that friendship is a huge responsibility that most people don't consider seriously; and because of that I became extremely cautious about whom I called a friend. My daughter is at an age where she feels as if her friends will be around forever and I've already told her that there is no Santa Claus, so I certainly don't want to be the one to tell her that most people that come into your life will some day leave in the same fashion. Some will leave because you will just grow apart, others will move away and geography will cause you to lose touch, and others will just keep hitting on your girlfriends until you have to teach them a lesson by having sex with their wife (just kidding, I punched him). I'm positive that my daughter will figure out the tenants of friendship without undue intervention from me, just as I had to figure out that my parents were a little harsh in their assessment of the rarity of camaraderie. In the meantime I hope she has the good fortune of experiencing many great relationships, because not everyone is made to be your friend. Some people come into your life but for a season; however that doesn't mean that they can't contribute to your life or enrich you as a person. I think too many of us get caught up in the friendship measuring game and we miss out on what could be excellent relationships with those who are not necessarily close friends.

At one of this weekend's performances a good buddy from my high school and college days showed up to see my show. I hadn't talked to him in years but we were pretty close during the time that we hung out. He knows my family and I know his, but the routine of life cut off the frequency of our communication. When I saw him we talked about old friends and the good times we used to have together; and at the end of our conversation we exchanged numbers and declared that we would get the old gang back together for a gathering. I'm definitely going to give him a ring and follow up -- but one thing I won't do is send him a pair of old jeans.

Video: Cinematherapy Outtakes

2008-12-18T16:31:19Z

A lot of Cinematherapy footage doesn't make it on-air. Watch crazy, funny web-only outtakes from this season of Cinematherapy.

Video: Chuck's Favorite Cinematherapy Moments

2008-12-18T16:27:52Z

As WE tv's resident cinematherapist, Chuck Nice has had a lot of fun "treating" women and watching great movies on Cinematherapy. Here are some of his favorite moments.

Video: Chick Flicks

2008-12-18T16:24:10Z

What's your favorite chick flick? Chuck asks the Cinematherapy women about their favorites and reveals his own.

Soul Food

2008-12-10T16:41:17Z

On sensible feasting during the holidays.

By Chuck Nice

In honor of Thanksgiving and the holidays I decided to watch and blog about the movie Soul Food. This is one of my mother's favorite movies and I understand why; I'm sure it takes her back to our family's Sunday dinners. As I was growing up my parents were very adamant about the family sitting down to dinner as a family every night; but Sunday dinner was special. Often my grandparents, my great grandmother and possibly some family friends would be found around the table laughing, telling stories, poking fun or just gobbling up my mother's scrumptious bounty of food for the soul. Soul Food the movie revolves around a family and their tradition of Sunday dinners. The food served in the movie is very similar to the food I had on Sundays as child. There was fried chicken - yes it's true Black people love fried chicken, hell most everybody loves fried chicken!
]]> Collard Greens and Black Eyed peas, green beans cooked in ham, sweet potatoes, warm biscuits or rolls, rice and gravy, and for dessert my mother's famous sweet potato pie. I would watch as my family members would pile their plates high with tiny foot hills of deliciousness and I was often criticized for not doing the same. "Chuck! What's wrong you with you boy? You better get some more of this good food. Boy you don't know what you're missing." Believe me I knew what I was missing... a heart attack and a life long struggle with obesity, which by the way is the problem that most family now wrestles.

In the movie Big Momma (the family matriarch) says that "soul food cookin' comes from the heart." What she fails to mention is that it will also explode that heart. Black people suffer a myriad of health problems due to our diet. The food that once sustained us as slaves is the same food that's killing us now. Don't get me wrong, the food is beyond delicious and prepared correctly can even be considered a delicacy; but you don't eat delicacies every day unless you want a serious case of gout. In the movie Big Momma develops diabetes, an extremely common occurrence among Blacks, but she continues to prepare her meals in the exact same manner. Finally she is forced to enter the hospital to have a leg amputated, slips into a comma and dies. How does the family mourn her death and honor her memory? They get together and have huge meals consisting of the very dishes that killed their mother. If I sound as if I'm being harsh it's only because I have engaged in a life long argument with most of my family about the importance of good nutrition; and they brush aside my comments like Dandruff from the shoulder of a black turtle neck. "Shut up Chuck, not everybody wants to suffer and eat Gerbil food like you", that's normally the response that follows my condemnation. But little do they know how much it pains me to see them eat their way to poor health.

This Thanksgiving my entire family came to my home for dinner and we had all of those sinfully good dishes that were so much apart of my childhood; and I loved it. Tonight, nearly a week later, I sat down to dinner with my nuclear family and we enjoyed the same fellowship and bond as I did around the table as a child. The difference is we ate a healthy meal: Baked Cod, steamed veggies and whole grain rice. It's not as sexy or decadent but I can hear my arteries saying thank you.

Leap of Faith

2008-12-04T19:06:19Z

On fatherhood and "Billy Elliott."

By Chuck Nice

I just purchased tickets to see the Broadway production of Billy Elliot. I'm not sure if I'll like it as a stage play but I loved the movie so much I watched it again... and I love it even more now. The movie chronicles the journey of the eponymous lead character in his quest to break free from his brutally oppressive life via dance. Instead of entangling myself in the details of Billy's dismal existence, I will just tell you that it's a typical Irish film; if you need more of a description than that, then you've obviously never seen an Irish movie.
]]> The movie is richly layered and offers insight on many universal human anxieties: acceptance by friends and family, fear of failure and success, complacency, aspiring to greatness and following your heart. But the aspect of the movie that most intrigued me was the relationship between Billy and his father. Billy's father is an emotionally rigid coal miner, whose emotional range consists of strong annoyance and howling rage. He spends the majority of the movie steeped in anger due to pressures he must endure while trying to provide for his family during a protracted labor strike. But what he lacks in a nurturing touch he makes up for in sheer devotion and love for his family: He's the dad that spurs your need for therapy and then upon receiving said therapy you realize "he ain't so bad after all."

I know many men, including myself, that had a dad such as Billy's while growing up. I could have exchanged fathers with most of the guys I knew and we wouldn't have known the difference. A typical night in the home went like this: Dad comes home. He's in such a good mood he can barely speak; he's overwhelmed with joy so he mutters things under his breath because he doesn't like appearing emotional. Your mother knows he's a deep thinker, so she tells you not to bother him. A little later he's got to have a talk with you, because your mother once again told him that the boy is out of control. You realize he has a hearing problem because the talk happens at a very high decibel level. He goes to sleep.

I know the experience I just related is extremely narrow and maybe it's not a typical night, but most of the guys I know consider themselves lucky to have even that experience - the others didn't have a father at all. The great thing about all of the men that I know who grew up with that kind of a father is that now they all appreciate why their father behaved that way. Many of them, including myself, have kids and now they know how hard dear old dad really had it. Never judge a man until you work a 12 or 14 hour day and then come home to his wife and screaming kids. It's difficult to identify with the fear, pressure, and anxiety that your dad experienced until you realize it yourself. I have often said that the most difficult challenge any man will ever face is fatherhood; it is one that I relish, but I also understand why men abandoned their families. Men who hang in there and do whatever it takes to provide for their families are to be commended - mothers you're only doing what you're supposed to do... I'm joking, you get the same commendation.

At the movie's end Billy's father is willing to sacrifice everything he has and believes in to give his son a chance at realizing his dreams of being a professional dancer. I would certainly do the same, yes even if it was to help him become a ballerina; but in the mean time, I think I'll just try to be a little more pleasant when I come home from work.

A Bolt of Inspiration

2008-11-26T17:14:35Z

Chuck and family find layers of meaning in Bolt.

By Chuck Nice

I often blog about kids movies because I have children and they force me to take them to see every Pixar creation that gets green lighted. Our last viewing trek was to see Bolt starring John Travolta and Miley Cyrus. Of course these movies are morally heavy handed and with good reason - they're trying to teach children a lesson. The lessons are always universally acceptable, as not to be offensive. It's hard to disapprove of someone telling your child to believe in her self or not to lie or cheat or steal, unless you're a grifter who is training your offspring in the ways of the con. Hey, there's a sucker born every minute. This movie has a very simple message: If you believe that you're a super hero, then you can truly be a super hero. I rather think that if you can shoot laser beams from your eyes and fly, then you're truly a super hero but what do I know? Bolt is a dog that is unaware that his life as a super dog is really a carefully orchestrated television show designed to make him think that his incredible powers are authentic, so that he might deliver a believable performance. It's kind of like the Truman Show with CGI. While under the impression that his beloved owner has been abducted by his arch villain, he leaves the protective surroundings of the television set to carry out a rescue, but instead finds that he himself may be in need of saving. I don't think I'm playing spoiler by telling you that during his journey he discovers that the true hero is the person (or dog) that rises above his limitations to triumph over any obstacle.

]]> Immediately after seeing these types of films I always ask my daughter what she has learned and we discuss the many wise insights that she bestows upon me (I'm not being facetious, she really teaches me crap). After seeing Bolt my daughter gave me a couple of gems to ponder, but it was my wife that made me think long and hard about what she had learned from the movie. She was able to glean that the Republican Party made a fatal mistake by believing that women would accept Sara Palin as a suitable equal to Hillary Clinton just because she was a woman. My response was "what the f**k", but after hearing her explanation I think she may be on to something. After Bolt's disappearance the studio quickly moved to replace him with a look alike. The new Bolt was a dead ringer with one exception... he couldn't act. No one at the studio ever considered Bolt's years of on set experience or acting chops when they moved to replace him. My wife's theory is that the Republicans went in search of a Hillary look-a-like, but female voters were more interested in having a qualified representative more than just any politician with ovaries. Now I'm not offering any opinion on whether or not Sara Palin is qualified to hold the highest office in the land -- I'll leave that up to the experts at Fox News. Nor am I trying to make this blog political -- that would just be silly. I am, however, fascinated by the fact that this election was so important to women that my wife is gleaning political messages from a Disney Pixar animated film.

Regardless of the outcome, our last election was historic on so many levels. We now have the first African American President -- and if he had not won we would have had our first female Vice President. Either way it's a good thing that the nation is open to allowing different types of people to sit at the table of political power. I'm actually looking forward to our first female Asian commander and chief... preferably one that was gay.

A Chick Flick for the Brave of Heart

2008-11-21T19:23:26Z

For Chuck, chick flicks come in all shapes and sizes.

By Chuck Nice

During the Cinematherapy interviews I occasionally ask women for their favorite chick flick, so I figured it was time for me to reveal my own. So what's my favorite chick flick? Brave Heart starring Mel Gibson. Now I know what you're thinking: How typically male of me to choose a violent, gory, and blood drenched war movie as chick flick.

]]> Brave Heart is like giving her an iron for her birthday. But when you look past all of the fighting, killing, decapitations and male bravado, Brave Heart is really a love story. I know you think that I'm grasping at barbed wire straws but truly that's what the movie is about. William Wallace secretly marries the woman he loves to spare her form the practice of Prima Nocta (the right of an English noble to deflower a Scottish bride on her wedding night before she engages her new husband). Despite his attempts to live a peaceful life with his new wife, she is murdered by the occupying English forces. To avenge the death of his beloved he leads an uprising against the tyrannical King Edward of England, which ultimately becomes a full fledged revolutionary war.

How much more romance could you ask for in a movie?! Sure you've got your romantic comedies where the couple meets at the top of the Empire State building, or your romantic drama where the guy tries to win back the love of his woman by making a heartbreaking speech in front of everyone on the plane, but these gestures are nothing when compared to those of a man who starts a war in the name of love. C'mon ladies, you've got to admit -- that's pretty damned romantic. Think about the most romantic thing a guy has done for you - maybe he cooked you a gourmet dinner, or stopped the car on the side of the road and asked you to slow dance to your favorite song, or taken you up in a hot air balloon and told you he wished he could offer you the world but all he has to give is his heart. But would he lead a nation to independence motivated only by his lust for vengeance in your name? I don't think so. I often hear women complain that men aren't romantic anymore and they're probably right, but I think a man who is willing to start a war for you goes above and beyond the call of duty.

Now I'm not just making this argument to convince you to watch one of the bloodiest battle movies ever made, nor am I defending my testosterone laden taste in love stories. I am simply saying that chick flicks, just like the chicks who watch them (myself included), come in all shapes and sizes. So the next time someone asks you to watch a chick flick like Brave Heart, Gladiator, The Godfather or even Showgirls, don't judge too harshly -- you might be surprised at how much you like it... well maybe not Showgirls.

Turn Back Time?

2008-11-13T20:14:03Z

Chuck discusses the challenges of aging gracefully.

By Chuck Nice

This week our Cinematherapy movie was Death Becomes Her starring Meryl Streep, Goldie Hawn, and Bruce Willis. I watched the film with a gnawing discomfort, the source of which I couldn't quite identify. The movie is about two aging Hollywood starlets who despise one another and harbor mutual feelings of schadenfreude. The two women are obsessed with staying young, motivated not only by vanity but also by their bitter rivalry and the need to out shine one another. Their lives are seemingly a continual preparation for a thirty year class reunion that never comes. Without each others knowledge, they both purchase a potion from a sorceress (played by Isabella Rossellini) that offers them eternal life. The only problem is that they actually become the living dead, kind of like really attractive zombies. By the way, one of the reasons I like this movie is because it's nothing more than a sexy zombie flick. In the end, as with all deals made with the devil, they would have been better off growing old gracefully. I won't spoil the end with details but it cracked me up (very bad pun).
]]> So what about this film made me uncomfortable? Well in a way, I'm just like these women. No, I'm not a sexy zombie, unless you count my hang over days and there's nothing sexy about that. I'm not a person who believes in grudges and the only rivalry I have is with me; but I am increasingly aware of my age. I hate to admit it but I'm afraid of looking older. I go to the gym, I try and eat properly, and I use certain age defying skincare products, not to be healthy but to stave off the effects of time - for the love of cheese I bought an eye cream last week! I identify with these women because I work in television and the industry is skewed more and more towards the young. Due to advertiser demand, most TV programming is skewed towards teenagers, which is difficult for me to understand: They're moody, mercurial and they have no true sense of self. But when I look at audition breakdowns more and more job postings call for a hip, young host for something or other. The irony is that if you're requesting someone young and hip, you are probably old and crusty. The entertainment industry is the only field where age discrimination is not only permissible it's encouraged. That's why you find so many celebrities that look less real than their counterparts at Madam Tussauds. The pressure to look young starts to bear down on you like a weight; so in turn you find yourself lifting weights, and being concerned with terms like free radicals and collagen builders and fine line reducers. I was performing at a college where I told my age on stage and I heard a collective moan go up from the girls in the audience. It was almost as if they were saying, "Why aren't you doing this show from a coffin? I can't date you, you decrepit son of corpse". That's because to a 19 year old girl I am old. Not that I would ever date a 19 year old -- the only thing she could do for me is introduce me to her mother.

As a man, I'm slightly embarrassed to reveal my true feelings about getting older. We're not supposed to care, that's theoretically something that concerns women. Well that's bull chips! We just deal with it differently. We go out and buy a convertible, or a motorcycle, or we start wearing clothes that make us look like we just got kicked out of some awful boy band, or we leave our wife and start dating one of our daughter's friends. I, for one, don't want to go out like that, but I'm not sure if I know how to grow old gracefully either.

In the meantime, could someone please recommend a good eye cream?

Know Your Audience

2008-10-30T14:55:30Z

Exploring the mind of a stand-up comedian.

By Chuck Nice

I was scrolling through my menu of On Demand movies when my eyes were perked to see an unusual title: Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World. Being a stand-up comic I had no choice but to order the movie. It's not as if I truly wanted to see it, more like I was compelled to watch -- the way an oncologist would have to watch a show titled The Cure for Cancer.

]]> Albert Brooks is on a government sponsored mission to find out what makes Muslims laugh, because by doing so we might better understand them culturally. He must travel to India and Pakistan to research the matter and then write a 500-word report outlining his findings. The movie never lets us know what makes Muslims laugh. That's because humor is basically the same the world over, especially in the laugh-a-minute country of Germany. In some instances the cultural differences of the Muslim world precludes the comedian's jokes from working, but when he finds himself performing for a group of aspiring comedians in Pakistan he kills. We're not sure if it's because he's funny or if it's that they are all stoned on hash... God how I wish all of my audiences were high on hash.

Even though we generally don't perceive Muslims as a barrel full of Yuks (Hey Salim, let's cut this line and then caution the complainers not to make us do something in the name of Allah) we know that all cultures have some sense of humor. I think most devoutly religious people, with the exception of Rabbis, are seen as having a limited tolerance for levity. It's rare that you'll find a lighthearted protester outside of Planned Parenthood. But that doesn't mean they don't have fun or that they dislike humor. The movie uses the search for Muslim humor as a vehicle to conduct a tour through the mind of a stand-up comic. This is why I found the movie engaging; you'd most likely find it boring, so I'll recap some of the discoveries uncovered during the film.

Comedians are not fun people: God I wish this weren't true but it is. Albert Brooks whines his way through the entire film. Now one might think that this is just his way, but it's an accurate representation of most comedians I know. Comedy comes from pain; I often tell people that if they want to be a Stand Up they need to start with a scarred childhood and then move on to a substance abuse problem. Comedians use this pain as a tool, so they are constantly looking for something to complain about. If you look at the underpinnings of most comedic material it's based in a complaint; My wife can't cook, my family is crazy, I'm broke, I'm black, my boyfriend or girlfriend or roommate is driving me insane - and this just from my act alone. If you ever spend a significant amount of time with a comic, most likely you'll start to think "man this guy is a downer".
Comedians don't care about their audience, at least the good ones don't: Albert Brooks does a show in India where everyone thinks he bombed and he thinks he did just fine -- that's because years of being on stage jades you as a comedian. The underlying motivation for getting on stage is to receive the accolades of the audience, but their rejection quickly leads to a subtle loathing that causes you to persevere until you're good enough that they accept you. By that time you've settled into indifference about your audiences because you're convinced that they don't know as much about this as you do. It's called bitterness; that's why I don't kiss comedians because I'm sure they taste like salted limes.
Comedians hate talking about other comedians: One of the government liaisons assigned to help Mr. Brooks continually asks him about his opinions of other comedians. Mr. Brooks very curtly informs him that we don't like talking about other comics unless they're dead. There are two reasons for this; the first is that comedians are quietly narcissistic. The reason we go on stage alone is because we want all of the attention focused on us. The second reason is... oh who am I kidding there is no second reason.
Comedians are neurotic: Comedians spend a lot of time feeling inadequate. We are constantly trying to prove to the world and ourselves that we are good enough. Even when we find success and everything in our career is going well, we're afraid to step off a curb for fear of getting hit by a train. That's how neurotic we are, we feel like we'll get hit by a train while crossing a city street.

I haven't painted a very attractive picture of comedians, myself included; but everything I have said is true in some capacity. So the next time you encounter a comedian please be kind: The ego you save may be my own.

The Marriage Myth

2008-10-24T19:51:59Z

Chuck sounds a note of caution to all Bridezillas.

By Chuck Nice

Believe it or not I have been trying to watch the movie 27 Dresses for about a month. Why? Well some movies are tailor made for this blog; and when I see the advertisements I get excited to write about them. The movie stars Katherine Heigel (Jane), James Marsden (Kevin), Malin Akerman (Tess) and Ed Burns George), and it's your typical chick flick wedding movie with a slight twist. Jane thinks she's in love wit her boss George. She secretly admires him from afar and the more she conceals her feelings the stronger they become. She finally musters the courage to reveal her true feelings when he meets her beautiful younger sister and they fall in love and decide to get married. Jane is then called upon by her sister to plan the wedding of the man she clandestinely wants to marry. Something struck me while watching this movie: Women really want to get married.

]]> I am a big proponent of marriage, with one exception; when more importance is placed on the wedding than on the marriage itself - when getting married is about a day instead of a lifetime. I know it sounds silly but I know women who have actually gone through with their marriage, despite having serious doubts, because they wanted to live out a day they have dreamed about since childhood. I asked my wife why a wedding means so much to women and she explained to me that it's the one day where it's all about that woman. It really is like your own personal holiday where everyone else stops what they're doing to honor you. Her explanation made me feel just a bit guilty about the fact that we eloped; the money we saved promptly erased that guilt. I completely understand the desire of a woman to have her own day and no one should poop on that dream if that's what she wants, but to take on the biggest endeavor that you will ever face outside of parenting just to experience the pageantry of a ceremony is insanity. Hey, weddings are great and they should be as simple or elaborate as one can afford; but the reason why the day celebrates the bride is because her life is gong to be really tough from that moment forward. It's a fact that marriage is much harder on women than it is on men. Women will most likely work and take care of the home and provide care for the children, while men will not make nearly as big a contribution. Faced with those prospects I think you deserve a wedding every year; but only if you're doing it for the right reasons.

So how do you know that you're getting married for the right reasons? Well I'm glad you asked. First you have to imagine some slight adjustments to the ceremony itself. Instead of Vera Wang gown, substitute a burlap bag. Now imagine the beautifully decorated reception hall as a leaky dank basement where stale crackers and water will be served; don't worry, the water will be bottled. Now picture the groom as fat and bald with some minor prostate problems and a generally cranky disposition (believe me that's where he's headed). If you still want to get married then you're doing it for the right reasons. If not, then hold off on the nuptials and throw yourself a kick ass party. I'll bring the crackers and water.

Sour Grapes?

2008-10-16T22:10:31Z

Chuck shares tips on keeping sex interesting in a marriage.

By Chuck Nice

I couldn't sleep the other night and I found myself watching a movie that should have been an effective tranquilizer, but I somehow stayed with it to the bitter end. Its title is Trust the Man, starring David Duchony, and Julianne Moore; oh yea, Maggie Gyllenhaal also stars but for purposes of this blog she doesn't matter. The story revolves around the struggles faced by couples who have been involved in long standing relationships, and the dynamics that challenge and dissolve the glue of those unions. The only plot details that I will consider is the marriage of Tom (Duchovny) & Rebecca (Moore), who have two children and have settled into a comfortable and successful New York existence. Tom is a 40 year old hypersexual stay-at home dad who relinquished a successful-yet-unrewarding career for the pleasures of child rearing. Rebecca is a Broadway star who is focused on her career and family, and has neither the time nor the necessary energy to indulge her husband's carnal desires. Their relationship is the classic cliché of a husband who is constantly begging for sex and a wife who gives nothing but denials in return. Their relationship is strained when Tom cheats on Rebecca with the parent of one of his children's classmates who seduces him while the kids go on play dates.

]]>
I'm not going to try and resolve the issue of marital sexual dysfunction during the course of this blog; I will leave that to the experts... prostitutes. But I will say that there are a couple of things that you can do to help your married sex life: 1) DO IT! Sex is like money; the more you get the more you want. 2) DO IT EVEN MORE! If you're married, and you're not going to cheat, then the person you're with is your only hope for a satisfying sex life. Why complain about the air when there's nothing else to breathe? 3) DO IT UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT! Sex is practiced just like anything else. No one sits down at the piano and immediately starts playing a concerto, unless you're Mozart -- in which case you should be sharing your gift with the world. Now I may be oversimplifying a very complicated issue and I'm not sure if my advice will work; but I am damned sure that you'll have a good time finding out -- and if you don't, maybe you should to try eating grapes.

Selling Out

2008-10-13T16:34:02Z

Chuck discusses the relationship between art and commerce in Music & Lyrics.

By Chuck Nice

My daughter often forces me to sit and watch a movie that she's certain that I will love; "C'mon Daddy, you've gotta see it, it is sooo good, I know you'll love it." What she doesn't know is that she's more often wrong than right. What I do love is the moments we spend together, so I feign excitement, plop down on the couch and paste a smile on my face worthy of a job on a cruise ship. The latest submission for my viewing pleasure was Music & Lyrics, starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore; and I'll admit that I liked it... not a lot, more in the way that I like passing gas - it feels good when its done and it's better that no one is around to know that it happened. I know you're probably thinking, Wow, two Hugh Grant movies in a row. Maybe Chuck's got a little man crush on Mr. Grant. Well, although I find him terribly charming, I reserve those deeper feelings for Mr. George Clooney.
]]> Quickly, the movie is about a washed up, aging pop star, Alex Fletcher (Grant), who is hired by the biggest pop diva on the planet to compose a song for her latest album. Alex happens to find out that his plant care taker, Sophie Fischer (Barrymore), is truly adept at writing lyrics. The two begin to collaborate and make beautiful music together. Alex is a bit of a sell out who has been beaten down by the business and just wants to end his desperate existence by grabbing a payday. Sophie is an artistic purist who doesn't want to compromise her integrity for a buck. Their relationship hits an impasse when Sophie doesn't want to sell their song because she doesn't like the changes made by the purchaser. Of course Alex wants to take the money and run and tells Sophie that he's selling the song with or without her. Faced with the prospect of a loose-loose situation, Sophie completes the song but finds that she can no longer stomach Alex.

I am always entertained by the myth that when you're hired to do something artistic you're selling out if you honor the request of the person paying you. Every job comes with some sort of compromise. Hell, life itself is one big compromise. No one gets to go through life getting whatever they want, whenever they want it... (if you do please contact me, I want to be your BFF). I know quite a few artists who feel like they will take the money for their services but they won't be told what or how to do their job. Like a fellow comedian who performed at a Catholic college but refused to change his act to exclude fowl language; "Those muthaf***ers don't own me. Just because they give me a check doesn't mean they get to write my act." Of course, after the second F-bomb they cut the mic and ushered him off of the stage. He is still trying to get them to cut him a check.

I think people often confuse selling out with fulfilling an obligation. Anytime you sell your services you've sold out just a tiny little bit, and there's nothing wrong with that unless you somehow feel diminished by doing so. To those that might suffer that consternation, I say do whatever it is that you do for no money at all. If someone comes along and then wants to give you money for what you've done (and you want to sell), then you don't have to worry. I don't believe commercial success equates to artistic compromise: Andy Warhol exploited commercialism brilliantly with his pop-art masterpieces. Just because a lot of people think you're good doesn't mean you're artistically inferior. As for me, I can't wait to sell out. I hope I sell out so big my grandchildren will be born retired.

Who's Rescuing Whom?

2008-10-02T17:14:33Z

Chuck applauds the role reversal in Two Weeks Notice

By Chuck Nice

I've never purported to be a truly sensitive man. I'm more of a dichotomy than anything else: I'm just as comfortable shopping for shoes, as I am kicking back with a beer and watching a football game with my boys. That's why I find it oddly amusing that I have to watch chick flicks in order to do Cinematherapy. You see, I don't like chick flicks. I find them a little boring and emotionally manipulative - and if I want to be emotionally manipulated I'll call my mother, she's the best.

]]> So I was pleasantly surprised to find that I really liked the movie Two Weeks Notice, starring Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant. The story revolves around billionaire George Wade (Hugh Grant) and his newly hired legal advisor Lucy Kelson (Sandra Bullock). George is a typical playboy who runs through women and toys like I run through a bottle of scotch during a visit from my in-laws (don't worry -- they don't read this blog). He's more in need of a nanny than he is chief legal counsel and he finds both in Lucy, who is a brilliant lawyer and a bleeding heart social activist. George is interminably charming and easy on the eyes, but he's insufferably childish and a selfish boss. The breaking point for Lucy comes when George calls her away from her best friend's wedding to ask which suit he should wear to a function, which causes her to give her two weeks notice. Of course in that time they both realize that they are in love, but it may be too little too late - I'm not going to play spoiler.

I liked this movie because although it was replete with every chick flick mechanism, it was still funny and entertaining. I also liked the hidden message that you won't find in many chick flicks: Women want to rescue a man. Okay before you take to the streets with torches calling for my head on a stake, just hear me out. The biggest myth that's still perpetuated in movies is the "knight in shining armor," who saves the damsel in distress. Listening to today's music you hear female artists loudly declaring their financial and emotional independence. Television shows and movies like Sex and the City, The Women, and Lipstick Jungle portray strong female characters who handle life on their own terms; and, in real life, women are graduating from college at a much higher rate than men and the prospect of a woman President is no longer an absurdity. The 1950's myth that a woman's survival depends on a man has long since gone the way of the poodle skirt. But the caring, nurturing nature of a woman is something I hope will never diminish no matter what advances the gender makes as a whole, because it is human nature. Seeing the good in someone, despite their not seeing it in themselves and wanting to cultivate those qualities, is as natural as Richard Simmons wearing striped short shorts. Even when men watch a sporting event (excuse the cliché) with no rooting interest in the game, we inevitably root for the team that has been pegged to lose, the underdog. It's just who we are as humans: We want to see David triumphing over Goliath, an ordinary citizen taking City Hall or M.C. Hammer making a comeback.

Betting on an underdog is always risky business but the payoff is always more handsome. For women, that risk can often lead to the embarrassment of friends and relatives saying I told you so, or the feeling of investing so much in a relationship that you can't let it fail. But the pay-off of success is the feeling that you are responsible for shaping and making a man out of boy. Some would say stay away from any man who needs work -- look we all need work -- but there's work and then there's a full on rehab. There's nothing wrong with a fixer-upper; believe me, I live in one and I couldn't be happier with the results. But those results came with a lot of hard work and tears and now I live in a beautiful home. So I say don't be put off by a man that might need a little effort to get him on the track that you want; just make sure he wants to be on that track as well... and as in the case of Lucy Kelson, it won't hurt if he's a billionaire.

Treasure Hunting

2008-09-25T19:40:01Z

Chuck wonders if acting is the ultimate "Fool's Gold."

By Chuck Nice

I just recently moved into a new home -- by "new" I mean a self-renovated 1917 relic that has sucked the life out me-- but I'm settling in and working on a blood transfusion. Moving serves as a spring board for renewal; you rummage through all of your belongings asking yourself things like "Should I keep that beret that I wore for Halloween c. 1998? We had such a good time at that party." The answer: Take a picture of it and toss it like a bad relationship - which for me means letting go, fretting incessantly, going back, realizing you made a mistake by doing so and then finally letting go. So as I suffered through this agonizing process with all of my belongings, I came across a DVD that I hadn't watched: Fool's Gold starring Kate Hudson and a shirtless Matthew McConaughey. Rather than just throwing it out I decided to watch it. I now know why they call it Fool's Gold, because if you're in search of cinematic treasure, this film will make you feel like a damned fool; but I'm sure women must have enjoyed Matthew McConaughey's undulating pecs (I'm not jealous at all).

]]> Caribbean island. The reason for their separation is that Tess feels as if she's wasted eight years of her life chasing a pipe dream while Ben is convinced that they will ultimately succeed, because his philosophy on treasure hunting is: If you miss by an inch, you miss by a mile. I took two things away from this movie: 1) Being a successful actor is truly a great life. I'm not talking about the red carpet and lavish clothes, or even palatial homes and fancy cars; I'm talking about the ability to get paid for taking a three-month vacation in the tropics while spending most of the time on a 200 ft. yacht 2) Anyone who lives that life started out by embarking on a journey akin to hunting for treasure, and along the way there were probably many times he or she felt foolish for doing so. It was only a willingness to persevere through their ostensible foolishness that elevated them to a status where they could receive obscene amounts of money for taking a three month holiday on a luxury yacht.

Film making is a tedious process where cameras and lighting have to be rearranged to capture every angle. When you watch a movie, every time you see a different angle most likely it took a couple of hours to set it up. As a result, it takes hours of footage to produce minutes of the final cut. Since the actor is only necessary when the cameras are rolling, most of his or her time on the set is spent sitting and waiting (this is probably why actors willingly accept roles in horrible films that are shot in exotically beautiful locations). The lion's share of their time at work is spent waiting to do what they are actually paid to do. I'm not diminishing acting as a profession because I have been in a couple films and I know how arduous it can be, but I'm recognizing that film acting is one of a few vocations where paid vacations are literally, well... paid vacations. It's no small coincidence these two words are separated by one small letter.

I'm a stand-up comic, an actor, and a television host, and when I started in this business there were many times I felt like a total ass because I couldn't pay my bills, or buy the latest gadgets, or even buy groceries (which is why you work in restaurants). During those times I felt like I was searching for sunken treasure or fool's gold and sometimes I still do. But after watching this movie I know that Ben Finnegan was right, "If you miss by an inch, you miss by a mile," so I'm going to keep diving because I really need a vacation.