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Coping With Pet Loss During the Holidays
Remembering your departed pet
By Beth J. Bates
I wanted to share some sad news with my readers. Last Sunday, we had to make the painful decision to put our 9-year-old dog, Max, to sleep. Unexpectedly, he had developed a large mass in his stomach that was bleeding out. We rushed him to the emergency vet as he had become lethargic. The prognosis was poor and we did what we felt was best for him, but it was a horrible decision for us to make. By 7PM, Max was gone.
I found that during the past few days, I've felt like I was the only person in the world that has ever had to make the decision to put a beloved pet to sleep. My husband and I have felt very alone, particularly since the holidays are right around the corner and we have always spent the day with our dogs.
Since Sunday, we've received an outpouring of sympathy from everywhere - family and friends, my social media colleagues and people that we don't even know. The stories that I've heard of other people going through this same kind of ordeal have been incredibly comforting. It's good to know that you are not alone. By Beth J. Bates
I wanted to share some sad news with my readers. Last Sunday, we had to make the painful decision to put our 9-year-old dog, Max, to sleep. Unexpectedly, he had developed a large mass in his stomach that was bleeding out. We rushed him to the emergency vet as he had become lethargic. The prognosis was poor and we did what we felt was best for him, but it was a horrible decision for us to make. By 7PM, Max was gone.
I found that during the past few days, I've felt like I was the only person in the world that has ever had to make the decision to put a beloved pet to sleep. My husband and I have felt very alone, particularly since the holidays are right around the corner and we have always spent the day with our dogs.
While the holidays are a joyous time, they are also a time for remembering family and friends that we've lost. So, I wanted to include some tips for surviving your own feelings since this is something I'm going through myself. I hope that this helps at least one person having trouble coping during the holidays.
- Talk about it. - Your feelings are your feelings and there's nothing that you can do about them. I'm finding that the more I talk about how I feel, about Max and about what's happening in our household - the better I feel. Yes, I cry like a madwoman, but that ultimately makes me feel better too, so I'm going to have a good cry when I need one.
- Don't avoid your feelings. - Trying to resist how you feel is painful and unhealthy. Allow yourself to feel sadness and loss. In the long run, acknowledging your emotions will keep them from having power over you.
- Light a candle. - During the holiday festivities, light a candle in remembrance of your loved one. Remember that they will be with you in spirit.
- De-stress. - The holidays are stressful in general. If you feel that you are becoming over stressed with the mixture of festivities and feelings of loss, do something for yourself. Go to the spa. Relax and read a book. Eat some junk food. Do what you need to do to make yourself less stressed out.
- Volunteer. - I'm finding that the more I can do for other animals in need, the better I feel. In the past week, I've helped dogs have their photos taken with Santa, helped a woman track down a specific dog for adoption and thrown myself into GoodDogz.org. And it's helping. Consider volunteering at a local rescue organization or shelter. Or volunteer for a non-animal related charity. Doing good feels good and that's what you need during this tough time.
WE: Women's Entertainment and the logo are service marks of WE: Women's Entertainment LLC
Copyright 2009 WE: Women's Entertainment LLC. All rights reserved.
Copyright 2009 WE: Women's Entertainment LLC. All rights reserved.
i had same situation but my baby was 6 months old when we found out that he have kidney problems.his blod work was like 130 and normal is 29 its was crazy...i gave like 5000$ on his medication and everything and poor baby he was in pain and he lost like 5 pounds.he didnt eat 7 days it was really hard i wasnt sleep at all like a month and than when i saw that he is in big pain i desided to put him on sleep....it was worst day in my life he was my everything im so mad at those ppl that sold me sick baby poor lil guy it was genetic.now i have problems i wake up at nihgt and looking for him i still cant belive that he is gone and when i see other dogs on the street i start crying.i cant even go to walk bcz everything remind me of him.my pain is really big.i wasnt with him when they put him to sleep i couldnt watch him like that.some ppl tell me that the best way is to buy new dog.i dont think so bcz first im afraid of buying again sick dog and second i think that nobody can replace him:(((please give me advice u had same situation i dont know how to deal with this
i had same situation but my baby was 6 months old when we found out that he have kidney problems.his blod work was like 130 and normal is 29 its was crazy...i gave like 5000$ on his medication and everything and poor baby he was in pain and he lost like 5 pounds.he didnt eat 7 days it was really hard i wasnt sleep at all like a month and than when i saw that he is in big pain i desided to put him on sleep....it was worst day in my life he was my everything im so mad at those ppl that sold me sick baby poor lil guy it was genetic.now i have problems i wake up at nihgt and looking for him i still cant belive that he is gone and when i see other dogs on the street i start crying.i cant even go to walk bcz everything remind me of him.my pain is really big.i wasnt with him when they put him to sleep i couldnt watch him like that.some ppl tell me that the best way is to buy new dog.i dont think so bcz first im afraid of buying again sick dog and second i think that nobody can replace him:(((please give me advice u had same situation i dont know how to deal with this
i had same situation but my baby was 6 months old when we found out that he have kidney problems.his blod work was like 130 and normal is 29 its was crazy...i gave like 5000$ on his medication and everything and poor baby he was in pain and he lost like 5 pounds.he didnt eat 7 days it was really hard i wasnt sleep at all like a month and than when i saw that he is in big pain i desided to put him on sleep....it was worst day in my life he was my everything im so mad at those ppl that sold me sick baby poor lil guy it was genetic.now i have problems i wake up at nihgt and looking for him i still cant belive that he is gone and when i see other dogs on the street i start crying.i cant even go to walk bcz everything remind me of him.my pain is really big.i wasnt with him when they put him to sleep i couldnt watch him like that.some ppl tell me that the best way is to buy new dog.i dont think so bcz first im afraid of buying again sick dog and second i think that nobody can replace him:(((please give me advice u had same situation i dont know how to deal with this
I to have had to make that horrible decision I truly know how you feel your pet is very much a part of the family so its a loss and that takes time to heal remember Max isn't really gone he will always be in your heart. My deepest condolences to you .
Thanks so much for your kind words. I still get choked up when I think about Max. But I do think its true that time will eventually heal the wound.
Jeca - I think that everyone decides when to get another dog in their own time. We recently adopted another dog because our mastiff missed Max and needed a playmate. I have a friend who unexpectedly lost her dog and adopted a new one within a week. Some folks need more time than others. Remember that you are not replacing your dog. No other dog can replace him. You are adding a new dog to your family that needs love and caring.
Best
Beth
Dear Beth:
Believe me when I tell you I KNOW how you feel. This past April, I had to put my baby, best friend and the love of my life to sleep. Her name was Taffie and she was 16yrs old. She was a chocolate poodle and I was with her the day she was born. My girlfriend used to raise poodles and she had a female that was having a litter one day while I was visiting. Out comes this little chocolate piece of fudge. I told my girlfriend that she was MY dog. She usually had all her puppies sold before they were even born and Taffie was no exception. But, I told her I know God means me to have her. Then, two weeks later the lady that had wanted her called and said she could not take her. I TOLD her she was MY dog! And, we were together from that time till April. I took her everywhere I went and if she could not go, I didn't go! I have had dogs all my life, but Taffie was my angel. I miss her so very much! I know how you feel and I will keep you in my prayers. We will see our babies in Heaven one day. Who knows, maybe they are playing together right now. Hang in there!!