eBay is the Boss of Me

Hi, I'm Dixie and I'm an eBayaholic. (Hi Dixie!) 

No, that's not true. I'm not addicted so much as co-dependent. No, not so much a co-dependent as...a slave. That's it, I am a big fat slave to ebay. It's like having a dysfunctional relationship with a boyfriend; sometimes your pulse races and your heart beats faster and it's thrilling, and sometimes you just feel like a sorry-ass victim. But just like the Skinnerian rat that I am, the intermittent good keeps me pressing the lever even more, hooked as I am on trying to re-create those sporadic highs.

I'm not necessarily an every day bidder, but I am an every day searcher. That's the beauty of eBay: every whim, every nutty combination of search terms ("reindeer glitter skirt") can deliver results. How many things in life can deliver in seconds what you uniquely, bizarrely crave? (With the exception of a box of Count Chocula, nothing springs to mind.) Ebay can find those turquoise suede fringe boots you've wanted, it can find turquoise suede fringe boots you didn't know you wanted, and it can get you that Get Christie Love lunch box you lost when you were 11. Like dominoes, one auction has a way of leading you to another, and another, and before you know it it's 4 in the morning and you've spent a king's ransom on 1940's cake toppers.

The "bay" allows you to discover, excavate -- and get trapped in -- a bottomless tar pit of cool stuff, weird stuff, and new whims. It's there to see to it that you manifest every little fleeting, nutty, materialist pang. Here is a sample of actual search terms I have tried (and in some cases, many times): "Chanel bird belt"; "squirrel dress large"; "carnival chalkware ukulele"; not to mention..."Christie Love lunch." 

And, thanks to eBay no fleeting, nutty notion need ever die. The site's "Save This Search" option ensures that the whim from 3 months ago will be resurrected when that "taxidermied two-headed duckling" comes up for auction. 

(And the answer to your question is yes, and his/their name is Robert.)

Ultimately, ebay is a Bitch Goddess: she giveth, and she taketh (money) away.  Sure, the hundreds of hours I've spent on eBay is time I could have spent learning a language, exercising, volunteering, or showering. And yes, most of my auction acquisitions are complete wastes of money. 

But, those occasional two-headed ducklings, they keep me coming back for more.

And more.