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Why I Decided to Appear on this Documentary
By Vicki EstradaIf you read some of the comments on the Sex Change Hospital forum on the WE tv site you will get a sense of others feel about us. Yes, there are great supportive people out there who are willing to understand. But there are also those who honestly believe that being transgender is a disease. To be sure, Gender Identity Disorder used to be common term to describe our dilemma. I strongly disagree with this term. Recent mental health research has also begun to conclude that it is not a disorder. I, and others like me, did not choose to be this way. Yet, there are still those that believe that we were somehow made this way by our upbringing. We are born this way and NO ONE knows why yet. There are theories that during the first six weeks of gestation, we did not get the full washing of androgens thus confusing the zygote, but that was during pre-birth. Once that happens, we are what we are. This is not something you mentally fix, except by fixing the body to match the mind.
When I first went full-time three years ago, I was frequently laughed at and made fun of. Would people laugh at a deformed and disabled person? I hope not. But our condition can be fixed. It is not a mutilation as some believe, but simply a corrective procedure. As long as people think that this is a mental disease, we will never be fully accepted as members of society.
So why did I do the documentary? It certainly would have been easier not to. If I can help others understand and accept us, and to make the journey for those that follow easier, than I will do it. This is why I did the show. Many people that transition will leave their home town and start over elsewhere. This is so sad. They do this because they get fired and they lose their friends and family. They chose to go stealth somewhere else. This is easier for those that "pass" easily in their new gender role. But this is not always possible and we often are labeled as freaks and laughed at. I was not going to start over elsewhere and I was determined to make my transition work. I was lucky and could afford facial feminization surgery which made a big difference. But what of those that do not pass, that cannot afford any surgery? Why should they be labeled freaks? Until this perception changes, we will never fully integrate seamlessly into daily life.
As for me, the last two years since my surgery has been the happiest of my life. I have been fully accepted in my home town of San Diego and nationally in my profession of land planning and urban design. We are not sick. We are not evil. Helping to change these perceptions is why I did the documentary.
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Copyright 2009 WE: Women's Entertainment LLC. All rights reserved.
Copyright 2009 WE: Women's Entertainment LLC. All rights reserved.
It's always a pleasure to see another girl go through transition and turn out so beautifully. Your smile says it all.
Congratulations Vicki!
I loved at the end of your episode when you said:
"People say poor Steve... but I say... Not poor Steve, lucky Vicki."
You are very brave, and incredibly strong.
Thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you both for your nice comments. I am so glad there are people like you out there.
more power to you vicky.
i'm glad there's individuals out there like you. with the strenght & courage to stand up for your self & others. i known your father steve for many years, i think he's a great man. i'm happy to know he's being there for your through your journey. best wishes always.
I had a real hard time watching this show even though I've watched many of them. I clicked off the tv half way through it. I'm just to the point in my life, I'm tired of watching everyone else getting their lives back, even though I'm very happy for them, now I want mine. I have been dealing with gender identity issues for over 40 years now, and to the point serious depression is starting to set in.
I look forward to the day the insurance companies see the medical necessity of this, and start covering it under our insurance plans.
Lynn www.tglynnsplace.com
Hi Vicki,
I just want to say how touched I was by your dad. I love it when men are real men and accept and love their children under any circumstance. I am sorry to hear that your mom and sisters are not as accepting, but truly it's their loss. My own father was a man's man but he would have been the same support system to his kids that your dad was to you. I think your dad is fabulous and he has a big fan in Colorado. Thanks for sharing your story -- while I still quite don't understand everything about sex change operations - I truly think some people are born in the wrong body and I support your right to choose whatever you think is right for your body.
Lisa
Thank you Lisa for the comments. having kids myself, I would always want them to be happy which is why I dont understand my mother and sisters attitude, but you know what, I really do think it is their loss. This really has been the happiest 2 years of my life and work is going as we have not lost any clients during my transition. Thanks again, Lisa.
I was so touched by your Father and his support of you. It is a shame that we live in a world that is so judgemental. You are so brave to tell your story and help others in your situation. I wish you all the best. You look so happy. You are a beautiful woman inside and out.
I just want to say GodBless you I enjoyed watching your story I am a hetrosexual female but I believe that everyone should be able live the life the were meant to live. I hope you find love and happiness
Hi Malia61,
I have found love and happiness for sure! I have been married now to a great lady for 2 months (California you know....as to how long we can stay legally married?...well, that's another story). She is not the one in the documentary though, Cristina and I were just too far apart on day to day issues. I fell bad as she stayed with me during my transition while a lot of women would have not. We are friends though and talk quite often. And happiness? You have no idea what a big relief it is now 2 1/2 years after the surgery and 3 1/2 years after transitioning. It have never been happier!
Hi, Vicki. I really appreciate you taking a chance and being part of this documentary. I feel your story was one of the most touching of all, especially with the way your father supported you.
I'm a transwoman myself at 27 years of age, having been working "officially" on my transition for a year. I don't know when GRS/SRS is going to happen for me, as I'm furiously trying to save enough money to make it a reality. But in hearing your story, and the stories of the other men and women who took part in this program, it really help me to keep on going. There is light at the end of the tunnel!
I appreciate you sharing your life with us.
Thank you for choosing to be on this show. Your story showed exactly what you wanted it to, that we are not freaks, that many of us (although sadly half of my family fails in this area) are cut off from our families, and that our parents (particularly fathers) can be accpting. I cried at the beauty of your and your father's love and acceptance of each other. I wish it was something I had as well, but I am thankful you have such acceptance in your life. *HUGS*
Thank you Allie and Elondria for your comments. Yes I have been very lucky with my father. I have been watching every documentary or tv show on transsexual topics for the last 20 years and I remember thinking "My God, how could these people be so brave". These were my role models and I wanted to be like them so very much. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be on one of these shows and give inspiration to others. When I agreed to do the show, my friends said "Why?....why do you need to share this with the whole world?" I could only say that society still has a long way to go in accepting us and removing the negative perceptions of us and I need to do what I can to help change things and to let other trans people know that things can turn out well. Thank you again for watching and if yiu ever have any questions, email me at vicki2001@cox.net ok?
Vicki, It is so wonderful that you were able to find the real you and are so happy with the changes. I am a married mom of 4 and I have to say, my hubby and I love watching this show. It was so wonderful to see the love of you and your father. I would give anything to have mine back. He passed away 7 years ago. It brought tears to my eyes. We had the kind of relationship that you have. Enjoy and cherish everyday you are given together. I truly hope you get all you want out of life. You and all the others deserve it. Merry Christmas and Have a loving and wonderful New Year.
Thank you so much Krisyann. I am sorry to hear about your father and I am so glad you had a great relationship with him as well and were able to enjoy each other. I just got married to another post op girl in August (not the woman in the show...that is a long story, but we just had too many differences...we are still friends and talk frequently) and my father walked me down the aisle...he has been perfect. Thanks for watching and I so wish that other non-trans people I know would be as open and accepting as you. I am sure your children are being raised to accept people for who they are. Thanks again.
Vicki,
I wanted to write to you because your story really touched me. To see your father have so much love for you, and to support you unconditionally was very, very touching. I am so happy to hear that you are married and happy. Even though i have no desire to be a man, I can't imagine what it feels like to almost be able to start life over again, brand new, like Vicki did. I wish you all the happiness in the world!
Nadia J.
Seattle, WA
Thanks for the kind words Vicki. I have always believed that people should live their lives in a way that makes them happy and not to care what others think and say. I have been overweight all my life and you wouldnt believe some of the comments I have heard about that. I can only imagine what you have gone through. People should just learn to accept others and mind their own business. This world would be such a better place if people would just stop judging others. I have seen the pictures of your beautiful spouse. You look so happy and in love. I have been married to my hubby Stephen for 22 years now, and I love him more than the day I married him. Take care and keep smiling! Merry Christmas!
Vicki, your father brought me to tears! He was wonderful and so supportive of you.
You're so lucky to have him and vice versa!
This is me,although I was a Airborne Ranger& later world champ harness horse driver
I just saw the documentary last night. It was very moving - and while I don't personally understand your choices as I am not in the same position - I cannot imagine the strength it must have taken to go through what you did.
Your father was absolutely amazing and I truly hope that if my kids ever present me with a situation like yours I will have the love and strength to support them like he did.
Best of luck to you and all your family in the future. You are ALL very brave. xx