Boy, Oh Boy!

Our mom-to-be contemplates two possibilities: long-awaited girl or fifth little boy.

By Meagan Francis

I just scheduled my mid-pregnancy ultrasound. Once again, I'm facing down the date (a week from Friday) that I'll know a little bit more about the baby inhabiting my body. And of course, what everybody around me is most interested in are the "little bits" that will tell us whether the baby is a boy or a girl.

Before having kids, I always thought I'd be a mom of girls. When I became pregnant with my first child, the idea that it could be a boy never even crossed my mind. I imagined only a little replica of myself, spinning around in pink tutus and tiaras. What I got was an ultrasound picture with a large white circle drawn around some very suspiciously male genitalia, and a single word, all in capitals: BOY.

Not long after my firstborn came along, I found out that I was pregnant again. At the 20-week mark, I found myself once again staring at a wiggling penis on an ultrasound screen--and once again trying to brush off the pang of disappointment that followed. And when my third ultrasound also showed a boy, I felt the pang again.

By the fourth ultrasound (boy), that pang was tiny, and afterward I actually felt a little relief. While a girl would be novel and exciting, I was an expert mom of boys by then, and raising a girl would have meant a whole new learning curve.

On the other hand, while a boy would fit easily into our blue, white and dirt-colored family palette, it is hard to let go of the idea of never having that mother-daughter bond I always dreamed about.

Mothers aren't supposed to admit that they would like their child to be one sex over the other. As long as the baby is healthy, we are told, it's selfish to want anything more specific.

But hoping for one gender or the other is not the same as wishing for a different baby. I love the baby I've got, but this pregnancy could represent my final chance for a girl. And, selfish or not, if I never have a girl, I'll miss her presence.

On the other hand, five boys? How cool would that be? I love being the only female in the house, as outnumbered as I sometimes feel. And I love the idea of a family of five brothers growing up together.

The truth is, both possibilities--long-awaited girl, or fifth little boy--bring a smile to my face.

No matter how cool and calm I may feel about it now, though, I know that when I face the ultrasound technician my stomach will be fluttering like crazy with nerves. And if the words I hear are "girl", then no doubt I'll feel a rush of excitement and elation, followed by some fear. A GIRL?

If she says "boy", however--which seems much more probable given my track record--I'll be just as happy and excited, just in a different way.

It's just putting aside one dream in favor of another. And for expecting moms, that's a good thing to get used to.