Life After Pregnancy

Postpartum depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders are common in new moms--here's what you need to know.

By Meagan Francis

Today we go home from the hospital and settle into regular life with a new baby in the house.  That means lots of snuggling, nursing, and napping, but it can also mean a lot of stress and anxiety due to hormonal fluctuations and lifestyle changes, like lack of sleep, that can make emotions unpredictable.



When my five-year-old was an infant I experienced intense nighttime anxiety. It started one night when I left the window open and awoke at 2 AM to the sound of a train whistle. In a moment of sleepy panic, I imagined the train derailing and plowing into our house.

It wasn't my most rational moment, considering a) it was a freight train, probably traveling no faster than fifteen miles per hour, and b) we lived over a block from the train tracks. But I became so freaked out by the prospect of waking up to a caboose crashing through my living-room window that I lay awake until the birds came out, imagining an escape route that would allow me to scoop up all the kids and flee through the back door.

The next night, my husband awoke to find me running from window to window, peering out into the darkness of the yard--absolutely convinced somebody was trying to break in.

"What's going on with you?" he said.

"I think I'm losing my mind," I stage-whispered from behind the curtain.

The midnight panic eventually subsided and never returned, and in the light of day, I sheepishly chalked the sleepless nights up to an overactive imagination. But then my friend Toni pointed out something so obvious that I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it myself: Postpartum anxiety.

I consider myself lucky that it went away relatively quickly: the first year of a baby's life is extremely rough for a lot of women, and it doesn't always get better quickly. In addition to the hormone shift--which can be extreme enough to cause psychosis in some women--many new moms are overwhelmed by the task of caring for a new baby,and often juggling that with siblings, work, or other commitments, while they are still recovering from birth. Postpartum mood disorders can manifest as feeling sad and weepy, irritability, lack of interest in things that used to make you happy, exhaustion and more.  

This time around, I've experienced a stressful and pretty traumatic first  week or so of our new baby's life. And while I'm coping as well as I can, I've experienced some symptoms of anxiety over the last week, like "air hunger", in which I don't feel like I'm getting enough air even though I'm breathing normally. So far, I've been able to calm myself down, but I know I'll have to be even more on the lookout for signs of depression and anxiety than I would have if everything had gone according to plan.

Postpartum depression and anxiety affect many women, even those who've had totally uneventful pregnancies and births or who seem to "have it all together". Their babies can be affected too: depression in mothers is linked to sleep disturbances and developmental problems in babies. And moms may not always ask for help. We're all expected to be riding on a fluffy pink cloud of mother love in those first months and it can be embarrassing to admit that we're overwhelmed.

So if you suspect a new mom you know is having trouble, volunteer: offer to hold the baby so she can take a nap, take her older child to the park, do her dishes, take her to lunch. Consider what she's low on--sleep, socializing, healthy food?--and fill in where you can. Lend a listening ear.

And if you're a new mom and just don't feel like yourself, check out resources like Postpartum Progress or Postpartum Support International. If you're really struggling, seek professional help. You're worth it, and it'll make you a better mom--and a happier one.