Womb With A View

A Mother's Day Medley

2009-05-14T12:29:27Z

Mombloggers from around the net dish about a happy--and not-so-happy--Mother's Day.

by Meagan Francis

Whether you're a new mom or a seasoned veteran, you deserve something special on Mother's Day. Breakfast in bed. Flowers and chocolate. Hand-made cards.

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DaMomma writes about a harrowing trip to the hospital with her baby.
The always-hilarious Lindsay at Suburban Turmoil has a disturbing experience at Forever 21 and imagines her worst Mother's Day nightmare (it involves potty-mouthed, sullen teenagers)
CityMama's Mother's Day involved falafel and shellfish (oh, and her family). Her photo essay is here.
Heather, a mom of quads, celebrates her first Mother's Day with a much-deserved nap.
Mother of three Sarah pens a Mother's Day poem for her sister Jen (also a mom of three) at Momalom.
What's up with the bad Mother's Day gifts? ParentDish dishes about clueless gift-givers and their poorly-thought-out purchases.

Sleep Politics

2009-05-12T13:03:16Z

Why is everyone so up in arms about where babies sleep?

By Meagan Francis

When my first son was born, I had this intense, hormone-ridden inclination not to put him down, so the first night home from the hospital, I bypassed the waiting crib and brought him into my bed.

I found that we slept much better than the up-all-night-feeding hell I'd been warned to expect: since I didn't have to get out of bed to nurse him, we both stayed comfortable and groggy during feedings and fell easily back to sleep afterward. I also found that instead of worrying whether he was okay all night, I was "tuned-in" to him, often waking up just seconds before he began to wake himself, or reaching out to nudge him if his breathing became irregular.

]]> Everything was going well until I encountered my first run-in with the sleep police: at a routine well-baby checkup with our pediatrician, she asked me how the baby was sleeping.

"Great!" I said.
"How often does he wake up at night?" she asked.
"Ummm...I'm really not sure," I admitted. After all, I wasn't waking fully to feed him, and I wasn't keeping track--I just knew he was eating when he was hungry.
"Is he sleeping in your bed?" she asked, eyebrows askance. I nodded, sensing her disapproval. "Well, what can I do to talk you out of that?" she chided.

I didn't know what to say. I thought it was working just fine--Jacob was eating well, healthy, and we were both getting enough rest. If it wasn't broke, why fix it? Even though logically I felt he would be just fine in my bed, a small seed of doubt had been planted.

It wasn't the last time my confidence would be shaken, and 11 years later the "sleep police" are still at it. A recent blog post by Consumer Reports suggesting that co-sleeping (and co-sleeping products as well as slings) is unsafe sparked a fresh debate on the family bed issue, and pretty much every mainstream organization, including the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) decries co-sleeping.

But other experts point out that studies that say co-sleeping is unsafe are flawed, because they don't take into account babies who were sleeping alone or with a sibling in an adult bed, or other factors like how safe the sleep environment was (look at this website for information about how to co-sleep safely).

I eventually overcame my doubt and enjoyed sleeping next to each of my children. My older kids are now well-adjusted, appropriately independent boys who sleep in their own beds, and Clara has taken their place. I'm very conscientious about her surroundings as she sleeps, making sure she has plenty of room, no blankets or pillows near her, and is sleeping on her back. I'm also very aware of her at night, waking up every once in a while to put a hand on her stomach and make sure she's OK. I've noticed that her breathing patterns mimic mine: if I sigh, she sighs. Even with all the waking I do through the night, I know I'm a lot better rested than I would be if I had to get up and get out of bed every time I wanted to feed her. And in my book, not being sleep deprived makes me a much better, safer mom.

I'm not arguing that all parents should sleep with their babies. But this issue is a lot more complex than a set of risk factors. Parents being able to get enough sleep counts, too, as does the simple desire to be close to your infant. And there are many ways to co-sleep, some safe, some unsafe...just as some cribs are unsafe. Otherwise they wouldn't be recalled so often.

And the simple truth is, life with a baby is full of risks. Every time we buckle our babies into the car to go to the grocery store, or give them a bath, or carry them down the stairs, we are putting them at risk.

What does the AAP have to say about that?

Beautiful and Bad Baby Showers

2009-05-07T18:03:08Z

Baby shower lore from around the Internet.

by Meagan Francis

Perhaps no pregnancy issue is as hotly debated as the baby shower. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but the questions can be loaded: should I register? If so, how should I tell everyone where I've registered? How extensive should the invite list be? Should we play games? Should we play really awful embarrassing games?

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At His Boys Can Swim, Jane has a lot of questions about registering for her baby shower
When is a baby shower more like a reality show?
At Harvest of Daily Life, Talina vents about an under-attended shower
Don't let this baby shower tragedy happen to you (courtesy of Apartment Therapy's OhDeeDoh)
Want to have a party that's more about honoring the mom-to-be than getting more stuff for the baby? Read about Tabitha's blessingway.

Strangest Baby Products Ever

2009-05-05T12:14:21Z

Scouring the Web for new baby stuff brings up a plethora of new and strange baby gear.

by Meagan Francis

Within months of the birth of my last baby, I gave away all my baby gear--a collection that had taken me nearly seven years to acquire.

Car seats. Slings and baby carriers. Itty-bitty washcloths and receiving blankets. A baby bathtub, a bouncy seat, a huge stack of cloth diapers. Toys that squeak, toys that rattle, and toys that light up and play annoying music (I wasn't very sorry to see those go). Gone, all of it, cast gleefully away to expecting friends, family, and the Salvation Army.

Then I got pregnant with Clara. And while shopping for all new baby gear was kind of a bummer, it also provided me with hours of entertainment. A quick Google search for "baby products" brings up a bundle of products that, while certainly unique, had me shaking my head and often shaking with laughter:

]]> The Weeblock:

Baby boys have an uncanny talent for waiting until that perfect moment--usually, the instant you've removed their diaper and hover vulnerably above them--to let loose of the hold on their teeny bladders. For the unlucky diaper-changer, this can mean anything from a soaked chest to a ruined hairdo, or, if their mouth was open and the child had exceptional aim, a dash to the bathroom for emergency tooth-brushing.

But now, lucky parents can protect themselves with the Weeblock, a teeny athletic-cup shaped device that covers the offending part and is intended to soak up any errant...wee. Offered in a variety of fun colors and patterns like Whizz Kid, Wee-Wee Man and Ladies' Man, the Weeblock is available at www.sozousa.com and costs $10 plus shipping.

The Thudguard

Finally, for every anxious mother who's ever shouted out "Junior, mind your fontanel!" comes a product sure to ease the stress of watching their baby take his first teetering steps. Designed by a Scottish mother, the Thudguard is a brightly-colored foam "safety hat" that's intended to cushion the bumps and thumps of learning to walk.

Funny, I always thought those bumps and thumps were what helped kids learn to stop falling. If every fall ends in a cushy bounce, where's the incentive to learn to stay upright?

But if you're not a big meanie like me, feel free to visit www.thudguard.com to order your baby safety helmet. Only $39.99 plus shipping to the US, and your baby's on her way to a bruise-free noggin.

Only, please...take it off before she goes to kindergarten, okay?

Baby Bangs Hair Bands

Tired of your balding baby messing up every family photo shoot? Wishing people would stop assuming "she's" a "he" or thinking she has alopecia? Well, wish no more. Baby Bangs Hair Bands gives your infant luxurious, "realistic" looking curls and waves, perfect for...well...uh...wait, why on earth would anyone buy this?? Babies are bald sometimes, people; this isn't news, and it doesn't need to be remedied with a baby version of a wig. What's next, baby boob jobs? Can't we give even infants a little bit of time to adjust to the world before we start forcing more grown-up beauty on them? (Sorry, but it's just not normal for a nine-month-old baby to have thick, flowing locks. It looks ridiculous.)

No thank you. I'll take Clara's smooth, nearly-hairless noggin and keep my $29.95 and self-respect. But if your baby's 'do is really important to you--or if you'd like to point and laugh along with me--head over to www.babybangshairband.com

What hilarious or strange baby products have you seen lately?

Blotchy Bloggy Babies

2009-04-30T18:35:37Z

Blogging moms post pictures of their adorably bumpy babies.

By Meagan Francis

I posted the other day about Clara's six-week-old baby break-out. Since then, her zits have gotten even worse, spreading across her cheeks, forehead, and even a little patch on her chest. When she cries or gets upset, they flare even redder and bigger. Adorable!

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At Growing Up Bandstra, check out "teenage baby" Isla.
Adorably acne-ridden Trinity gives a big, zitty smile at Eggs over Asia.
At Barkdust, Silvie has a lot to smile about--she's balding AND pimply!
And look at this flickr shot of adorable (but acne-ridden) baby Delphine.

From the looks of things, there's a veritable epidemic of bumpy blog babies. I'm sending "Get Smooth Soon" wishes to the blogosphere!

Passing the Six-Week Milestone

2009-04-28T18:13:22Z

From exercise and sex to baby smiles (and zits), the sixth week postpartum can be a big milestone for new moms.

By Meagan Francis

I can hardly believe it, but my baby, Clara, is over six weeks old. The time has gone by so fast I feel like I'd have missed it if I'd blinked--and though I spent plenty of time doing nothing but staring at her and soaking up her sweet baby goodness, I'm still feeling a bit of sadness. Her first month and a half, over already?

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For one thing, the sixth week is when I can usually expect my milk supply to start getting in synch with my baby's appetite a little better. Up until then, I never know what to expect: one breast might be twice the size of the other. Or one day the baby might seem to nurse frantically all day and never get enough milk and the next day there's so much milk that she chokes and gags when she nurses, milk streaming everywhere as though she'd put her mouth around the garden hose and then turned it on full force.

Around six weeks many moms finally start to feel human again. Bleeding is usually done or almost gone, our body parts finally feel like they're back where they're supposed to be (more or less), we can start exercising again, and--if we're feeling really ambitious--having sex again. Of course, fluctuating hormone levels, nether regions that are possibly still sore, and the fact that we have a tiny creature subsisting from our bodies most of the day sometimes means we'd rather put that off for a while longer.

Another happy event that happens around six weeks is that babies finally get a personality. For the first month and a half or so, many babies spend most of their time with their eyes either gently closed (as they sleep) or screwed tightly shut (as they scream their heads off). Sure, you'd get some of those "quiet alert" moments, where your baby looks at you as if to say "How did I end up in the middle of this freak show?" but not a lot in the way of real interaction.

Around six weeks or so, though, it's pretty common for parents to suddenly notice their baby smiling with real purpose. Just when all the monotony of eating, pooping, and screaming makes you start fantasizing about handing the baby to your spouse and then escaping out the bathroom window, he suddenly looks right at you and gives a lopsided, squinty-eyed grin. And then you find yourself staring at him for the rest of the day, cooing, bouncing, making exaggerated faces and saying ridiculous things in a high, sing-songy voice, just hoping for a repeat performance.

But while you're staring at your baby you may notice some disturbing things going on. Because often, babies get really ragged-looking in their second month. Even previously baby-model-cute newborns often go through ugly phases, where their faces break out in zits and they lose their hair in a bizarre baby version of male pattern baldness. We're there with Clara right now, who looks like a cross between a male, middle-aged judge and a fourteen-year-old in need of some Proactiv solution, all wrapped up in the tiny, onesie-clad body of a baby.

Luckily, those smiles she's been giving me are so cute it's easy to look past her blotchy face and receding hairline. And I'm finally feeling good enough to strap her into the Ergo front pack and go for a nice long walk in the spring breeze.

I just hope she loses the rest of that hair and a few of those zits by the time we take her two-month photos.

Big, Beautiful Bellies

2009-04-23T01:41:33Z

Another roundup of pregnant belly pictures from the blogosphere.

by Meagan Francis

In the six weeks since I gave birth, the expecting moms whose bumps were, back then, barely visible have started to show, while other moms have gone from "little round belly" to "large and in charge". I figured it was time for another round of belly pics to brighten your week.

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Even though TJ is only 11 weeks along, her twin pregnancy has made her pop.
Tonya is 18 weeks pregnant and getting rounder.
Another twin pregnancy--At 27 weeks, Jeannett's belly is definitely big and beautiful!
Rixa is glowing in her 37-week belly pic.
Could this be her last belly shot? KimboSue is 39 weeks along and ready to go.

Want me to include a link to your blog in an upcoming roundup? Send a link to meaganfrancis@yahoo.com and if one of your posts fits my weekly theme, you just might find yourself here!

Post-Baby Body Blues: Do I Need a "Mommy Job"?

2009-04-21T17:10:38Z

Do I Need a "Mommy Job"?

By Meagan Francis

When I was younger, I was unabashedly judgmental of people who got "work done", i.e. plastic surgery. I thought the whole idea was shallow and vain and a dangerous waste of money.

This is easy to think when everything is still, more or less, where it is supposed to be.

But after five pregnancies resulting in rather large babies (Clara was my most petite baby at 8 pounds, 6 ounces; Owen tipped the scales at 10 pounds, 2 ounces), things aren't looking quite as, errr, pulled-together as they once did.

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I'm not the only one. The internet was abuzz when a 2007 article in the New York Times documented the rise of the "mommy job", a procedure that surgeons package together in order to help women rid their bodies of the evidence that they'd ever been pregnant at all: a tummy tuck, some lipo, a breast lift, perhaps implants, all for the low-low-low price of just $10,000 to $30,000!

And while bloggers publicly decried the trend as anti-feminist and possibly even dangerous, privately more than one mother confided to me that if money were no object, she'd seriously consider springing for the whole package.

Twenty or thirty years ago, I'm guessing plenty of moms looked at their pregnancy-induced sags and lumps and gave a sad little sigh. Only in those days, you just went on with your life: cosmetic surgery wasn't for regular people, but for celebrities, the very rich, and porn stars.

These days, plastic surgery no longer seems so outside of the mainstream. Magazines and reality shows make getting "work done" seem just a routine part of beauty care, like getting your hair trimmed. Celebrity gossip rags and blogs have a field day with new moms who don't immediately pop back into shape.

The truth is, even if I had a perfect 20-year-old's body, I wouldn't wear bikinis or belly shirts. I look fine in clothes, and feel pretty good about myself overall. And my husband is happy with me just the way I am; if we came across a windfall, I know he'd rather spend it on a big-screen TV than a perky-boobed wife.

But to be very honest, I'm still conflicted. I hate this unrealistic quest for the perfect body. But I still want one. On one level, cosmetic surgery disgusts me. But I secretly fantasize about having it done.

Cosmetic surgery is a personal choice, but it's a social choice, too. If seven out of ten mothers start getting tummy tucks, it'll be that much harder for the other three to accept their own bodies as they are. I try to remind myself of that when I'm disgusted with my "pooch" and considering having it hacked off.

I'm actually grateful that the decision is, at least for now, out of my hands. Not only am I way too wimpy to actually go under a scalpel, but there's the little fact that I can't afford a cosmetic procedure. If I do ever happen to have extra tens of thousands of dollars lying around, I can't imagine using it to give myself a hot bod instead of putting it into my kids' college accounts.

As it is, I'll do the best I can to accept my own imperfections, and try to opt out of the kind of celebrity worship that I believe has caused this kind of trend in the first place. And if I ever happen to find an extra $30,000, I'll deposit it right into a long-term investment before I ever have the chance to see some surgeon's before and after shots.

But first, I'm buying myself a fabulous purse.

It may not be quite as satisfying as a perfectly flat stomach, but on the other hand, a lot more people will see it.

Sleeping like a baby?

2009-04-16T18:37:28Z

Parents around the Web blog about how much sleep they're (not) getting.

By Meagan Francis

Clara is one month old, and I'm starting to recognize the signs of mild sleep deprivation: forgetting words mid-sentence, yawning, and a general "foggy" feeling that makes it hard to concentrate. But Clara's a pretty good sleeper in general, and I know I've got it easy compared to some moms whose babies refuse to sleep longer than an hour or two at a stretch.

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At Let's Be Honest Here, Emily posts about her 12-week-old baby's sleep habits and how it's affecting her own.
Arifel at Yet Another Baby Blog confesses: she sleeps with her baby.
A mom weighs in on what she learned about sleep from her first year of parenthood.
At the Momformation blog, Andrea Frazer posts about how dangerous sleep deprivation can be.
This poker-playing dad dishes about how bringing home baby means hanging up your eight hours a night--and that includes men, too.

Surviving New Motherhood

2009-04-14T18:48:22Z

An experienced mom shares three rules for adjusting to having a baby while keeping your sanity.

By Meagan Francis

It's no wonder so many new moms wind up frazzled and unsure they're up to the challenge of motherhood: sure, you want to enjoy that warm, milky little bundle of baby, but you've got a lot of obstacles to contend with first. Maybe that little bundle cries whenever you put her down, so your unshowered body is beginning to mildew and your un-brushed hair has created a gnarled mess of knots at the back of your head. Maybe you've watched so many daytime talk shows that you're beginning to believe the whole world is full of people cheating on their spouses with their first cousins and parents sending their rebellious teens to boot camp.

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Rule 1: Take a shower. Every day.
I know, you're not going anywhere, so you may as well stay in those ratty pajamas and the milk-stained t-shirt for at least another couple of days...right?

Wrong. Taking a shower is a quick, easy thing you can do for yourself every day to help you feel like a human being (and not smell like a barnyard). Put a bouncy seat on your bathroom floor, safely stash baby inside, and hit the water. Babies don't always love this ritual, and you may find yourself cutting corners to get the shower over with quickly. That's okay. You don't have to wash your hair and shave your legs every day; just do whatever you can to freshen up a bit.

Rule 2: Get enough sleep.
"Sleep when the baby sleeps" is the general advice, but naps don't come easily for everyone. If I try to fall asleep in the middle of the day worrying that any minute the baby will wake up, it won't happen and I'll just end up frustrated.

So what I've learned to do is go to bed at night when the baby does. The idea of "alone time" at night is tempting, but an hour of surfing the Internet doesn't really compare to the ability to drive a car or cook a meal safely. Sleep deprivation totally screws with a mom's personality, focus, and ability to care for (and enjoy) your baby. I've learned to avoid it at all costs.

Rule 3: Ask for help.
And be specific about what's helpful to you. For example, after holding a baby all day, I don't want somebody to come over and do my dishes. I want them to come hold the baby so I can do my own dishes! Being able to take over little household tasks helps me feel normal and capable again, so I'm much more likely to ask for help with Baby so I can get up, move around and do something besides breastfeed. Or sometimes I just want a friend to come over and sit on my sofa so I have another adult to talk to. Help can take many forms, so ask for whatever makes you feel better.

New motherhood isn't always a joy. In fact, for some women it's boring, frustrating and miserable, especially when you have one of those babies who won't sleep or cry constantly (been there...twice). The good and bad news is that it never lasts forever. Clara's a month old and I know that the day is right around the corner when this scrunched-up little lump will start sitting up, eating real food, and dragging me along on a whole new motherhood adventure.

So right now I'm just trying to take lots of pictures. Because if there's one other thing I've learned? It's that sleep-deprived brains are very forgetful.

Must-Have Baby Gear

2009-04-09T14:34:13Z

Baby stores are stocked with stuff, a lot of it unnecessary. Here are a few products that can make your life with baby a little easier.

By Meagan Francis

When it comes to the stuff babies need, my philosophy has always been "babies need something to poop in, something to keep them warm, and something to eat..and that's about it". But a few well-chosen products can certainly make Mom's life easier, and that's a worthwhile investment. I'm a baby-product skeptic and have whittled away at the amount of "stuff" we have around the house, but there are a few products that have really earned their keep around here. Here are the three baby products I'm loving right now:
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The Blessed Nest Organic Nesting Pillow I spent literally years of my life being squeezed around the middle by an unforgiving c-shaped nursing pillow, which was at that time, the best option on the market as far as I was concerned. The Organic Nesting Pillow is a huge improvement on just about everything in those early-model nursing pillows. First of all, it's filled with buckwheat hulls, not foam or polyester filling. That means it easily conforms to your shape, you can plump it up to bring the baby higher (and avoid that hunched-over nursing posture), and it's comfy and breathable. It's plenty big enough for an older baby, and covers your whole lap. Because it's so easy to re-shape, you can use it in bed, at the computer, in an easy chair...etc. And it's pretty.
The Graco SweetPeace. If there's anything I'm really, really skeptical about, it's electronic baby stuff. First of all, the various seats and swings are often ugly as sin, secondly, they tend to make loud, obnoxious noises, and third, I've always wondered how necessary any of it is. The SweetPeace may not be a "need to have", but I am definitely loving ours.--while I'm making dinner or helping an older child with homework, it's nice to have a safe, comfy place to put Clara that calms her down instead of getting her more riled up. It's attractive enough to sit in the living room and look like a piece of furniture (plus those calm neutral colors are supposedly more soothing to the baby); quiet enough that you can actually hear the music coming from the iPod hookup (that's what sold my husband on it) and instead of launching your baby to and fro like a swing, it's meant to mimic what moms do naturally as they hold their babies--rock gently back and forth.
Moby Wrap When I was pregnant with Isaac (going on 10) there were basically three or four slings available on the market. One of those was an expensive foreign model that basically consisted of a long piece of fabric you could tie around your body in a variety of wraps. It cost around $100, far too rich for my blood in those days. I wound up with a Maya Pouch, which was a good sling but had its limitations, particularly for heavy newborns who'd wind up all balled up in the pouch and hang too low on my body, making my shoulders hurt. I got my SIL a Moby Wrap on the recommendation of several other moms during her last pregnancy, and now she's passed it back to me. I am in love. I've only used it one way so far, but the carry I'm using (the Hug Wrap) perfectly distributes the weight across my shoulders and back. The fabric is stretchy for a little "give" but not too so stretchy--the baby stays close enough to avoid straining Mom's back. It's the same basic concept of the "long piece of cloth" sling I couldn't afford many years ago, but at about half the price ($40 or so).

The Post-Baby Body Battle

2009-04-07T16:17:17Z

Nine months up, nine months down is a good mantra, but it's easier said than believed.

by Meagan Francis

Last night I went to Target to pick up a few nursing bras to fit my magical new "OhmyGod-where-did-THESE-come-from" dimensions. On my way to the lingerie section, I passed the women's clothing section and had this conversation with myself:

"You should go try a pair of pants on." a voice from deep within the not-very-smart part of my brain suggested.

"Why would I do THAT? They're not going to fit anyway."

"But aren't you curious about what size you are now? I mean, maybe you're back in your old size... Shouldn't you check and see?" the voice said seductively.

"Well...I guess. I mean, it couldn't hurt, right?"

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Instead, I wound up stuffing myself back into a pair of maternity jeans, hanging a half-dozen pair of rejected pants in single-digit sizes on the dressing-room rack, and heading for the nursing bra section.

I know, I know--I just had a baby, and it's going to be some time before any of my old stuff fits again. And really, I'm okay with that. After five kids, I know better than to expect the weight to just melt off.

And even as the numbers on the scale eventually come down (assuming they do), the padding that remains winds up distributed unevenly across the body. I'm not that much heavier now than I was 10 months ago, but my midsection is completely different. It's hard to know how much of that will change in time and how much is permanent.

In the meanwhile, I'm down to some rather unappealing fashion options. Sure, my maternity jeans are stylish enough and they fit comfortably, but that stretchy panel doesn't exactly hold in my excess tummy. Regular tops fit, but I have to make peace with a shriveled, deflated lump of abdominal skin showing clearly through the fabric.

Then there are those breastfeeding bosoms, in all their much-larger-than-normal glory. For some women (like myself) the new cleavage is a plus; for the ones who end up looking like Dolly Parton, a cruel joke. A busty friend of mine has to order her J-size bras online and then convert them into nursing bras herself with a sewing machine.

And let's not even get started on swimsuits. Tankinis, for some reason hailed as a flattering choice for moms, actually showcase the one inch of my body I want to hide above all else. What I'm looking for is a knee-length dress made of swimsuit material, or maybe one of those beach getups that women wore at the turn of the century, complete with pantaloons.

But this time around, I think I'm learning not to rush it. If I wear maternity clothes for the next four months, so be it. If my beach attire consists of a sarong wrapped around my entire body this year, oh well. If passersby ask me when my baby is due, I'll smile and try not to punch them.

Eventually, I'll get there. And in the meanwhile, who am I trying to impress, anyway? The aftermath of pregnancy may not be pretty, but it's testament to the incredible work my body has done to bring new life into the world. I don't have to love it, but I'm at least trying not to let it bring me down.

Considering the state of the economy, I guess I can just look at it as a really good incentive for not spending a bunch of money on clothes. And in the meanwhile, maybe I'll adjust all my mirrors to show me from the chest up.

These days, I'm really liking that view.

Clever Pregnancy Calendars

2009-04-02T18:50:26Z

Why read the same old pregnancy calendar entries again and again? Here are some hilarious and creative blog calendars from around the internet.

By Meagan Francis

If you followed my pregnancy experience, you may have noticed that I gave birth the day after my due date. That's a rare experience for me. Three of my other four children were born well past their due dates: my fourth son was born almost two weeks after he was expected to arrive.

When you're waiting around for a baby to arrive, I know it's hard not to obsess over pregnancy calendars--you know, the ones that give you a daily or weekly glimpse at what's likely to be happening with your body and baby at each stage of pregnancy. But reading the same pregnancy calendar over and over gets boring...so here are a few fun, unique pregnancy calendar blogs to keep you entertained right up until your baby decides to make his entrance.

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Zero to Forty is a week-by-week pregnancy calendar from the always witty and wise Amalah of AlphaMom. (if you've already had your baby, Amalah has started a new postpartum blog, Bounce Back ). Also, check out their Twitter feed.

His Boys Can Swim isn't a traditional pregnancy calendar, but the authors post week-by-week (and often more frequent) updates about their personal pregnancy experiences.

Café Mom's Pregnancy Buzz includes a 40-week pregnancy calendar, as well as great daily content, in the form of a blog:

The Breast Intentions

2009-03-31T15:20:47Z

Breastfeeding may be natural, but it doesn't always come naturally.

by Meagan Francis

While many pregnant moms assume that nursing will come as naturally as nuzzling a newborn's head, it takes preparation and know-how to get off to a good start. But even taking a class or reading entire books on breastfeeding doesn't always help when you're faced with a befuddling breast dilemma.

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At home, things quickly deteriorated. My milk hadn't come in yet, so each time I put him to the breast he cried from frustration. And so did I. The sample of formula the hospital had sent us home with looked awfully tempting as my hungry baby wailed, and finally, we gave in and fixed him a bottle. For three weeks, I spent hours each day pumping, feeding the pumped milk to my baby, and then working with him to get him latched on. He eventually did nurse, but was never very into it, and our breastfeeding relationship didn't last long.

Lesson learned: stay away from bottles and pacifiers during those first few crucial days, and work on getting breastfeeding down instead. Also, don't accept medication without first asking what's in it and how it's likely to affect you.

With baby #2, I was determined to do things differently. I put him to breast within a minute of his birth, and he took to it like an old pro. I was happy--so happy that I neglected to check his latch carefully. By day 4 my nipples were cracked, bleeding, and looked like they'd been attacked by piranhas. The pain was worse than labor--it felt like glass was being ground into my nipples every time he latched on. His enthusiastic suck was working for him (he weighed 15 pounds by the time he was a few months old), but not so much for me (I got to the point where I was sobbing before and during each feeding because it was so toe-curlingly painful). Eventually, the pain seceded, and we went on to breastfeed happily for a long time. But those first couple of weeks took more than determination--there was, literally, blood, sweat and tears involved.

Lesson learned: Enthusiasm is great, but method is vital. Don't just let an eager baby start chomping away without making sure he's got his technique down.

With baby #3, I was careful about latch and his suck wasn't overly strong. So I was baffled when I once again started having that glass-on-nipples feeling by day 4. After much experimenting with positioning and even more gritting of teeth, I began to wonder if I might have thrush, a fungal infection that can grow in baby's mouth and on a breastfeeding mom's nipples. After two weeks of pain, I decided to treat for thrush (couldn't hurt, I figured) with gentian violet, an over-the-counter antifungal. I felt better three hours later.

Lesson learned: Don't suffer if you don't have to. Some soreness and sometimes, even pain, is normal when you're getting used to breastfeeding; but if it's been going on for weeks and isn't getting any better despite improving your technique and trying new positioning, there's likely something else going on. Talk to a lactation consultant, La Leche League volunteer or a knowledgeable friend and see if you can't get to the bottom of it. (KellyMom is a great online resource for troubleshooting nursing problems).

I'm happy to report that I nursed baby #4 (and so far, his little sister) with relatively little soreness and no supply or latch issues. But as you can see, it took me a long time to get it down, so even veteran moms experience breastfeeding problems from time to time. There's no shame in needing help, and breastfeeding moms tend to be a passionate bunch who are only too happy to help a fellow nursing mom in need (myself included--seriously, drop me a line if you're having trouble!)

Expecting moms, do you plan on breastfeeding? Experienced moms, did you have trouble breastfeeding? How did it end up?

Navigating the NICU

2009-03-26T18:59:57Z

For parents of sick or small babies, a stay in the NICU is often a fact of new-parent life.

by Meagan Francis

After our stay in the NICU, I wondered how other parents in the same situation are doing and dealing. Not being in control of your child's care and not knowing whether or not she'll be OK can be scary, stressful and frustrating. And very sick babies or preemies are sometimes hospitalized for many weeks--or months. Here are some posts from other NICU parents:

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A dad live-blogs the day they bring their son home from the NICU

Here's a fabulous and wise post about what you can do to help if you know a parent whose baby is in the NICU, written by a mom who's been there.

Another post about a baby on his way home--browse through the archives to read about his NICU stay.

This post by a NICU mom of a preemie gives an up-close and detailed look at the ins and outs of NICU life.