Evelyn and Doc are on a break, so there’s no reason why she shouldn’t be seeing other people. But apparently, Mama Braxton is no Demi Moore when it comes to dating younger men.
When Towanda sets her mother up on a blind date, Evelyn is shocked to learn that he is only 27. After five minutes of conversation, Evelyn leaves, embarrassed and annoyed. But should she have been more open to meeting someone born a little later? We asked Dr. Sherry, who said she wasn’t at all surprised by Evelyn’s reaction.
“Mature women are not as flexible in terms of their willingness to respond to something different. They have a sense of what they want in a relationship and it’s difficult to stray from that,” she says.
But should Evelyn — or any woman — open herself up to dating a younger man? Dr. Sherry says it depends on the woman.
“Women should be open-minded. Some 21-year-old men are very mature, mature enough to date a much older women. Some older women so immature that they match the 21-year-old,” she explains.
And should 49-year-old Demi Moore’s pending divorce from 33-year-old Ashton Kutcher (who is rumored to have been unfaithful) serve as a cautionary tale? Dr. Sherry says not really.
“Anybody can get divorced. It’s not so much the age, it’s what you have in common with that person: maturity, similar values, expectations. Finances are a major issue: Are his equal to or greater than yours? Older women who are established don’t want to raise another kid or take on someone else.”
Plus, Dr. Sherry warns, it may be cute to date someone who’s 20 when you’re 40, but a decade or two later, the age difference may be more problematic. “You risk having a gap in terms of those values because people change,” she says.
Now for the question you’ve been secretly wondering about: Is a younger man more likely to tire of an older woman?
“Not necessarily,” Dr. Sherry says. “Committed relationships aren’t really about sex and physical beauty, they are about love. The physical beauty comes and goes for all of us. The young guy is going to deteriorate, too.”
Thinking about dating a younger man? Here’s Dr. Sherry’s checklist of five things to consider:
1. Maturity: Does he seem to be mature?
2. Finances: That’s a biggie. Is he financially stable now? Is he still in school, or trying to get his career on track? Make sure he isn’t there for a free, easy ride.
3. Values: Does he hold the same values as you do? If he’s young and cute, a “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” situation could be cute for a nice weekend, but what will hold up over time are your shared values. Do you enjoy the same things, and want the same things in life?
4. Honesty: Be honest with yourself about what is this really about — a nice body? Ask yourself: Am I with this guy because of what? Do you really want to raise someone else?
5. Can You Handle Jealousy? You must be grounded emotionally, because there will be younger women with perky boobs and all the other stuff checking him out. A woman dating a younger man must be secure with herself and her body image. Communication is key — no matter what the age difference is.
