Braxton Family Values

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Trina and Gabe: Should She Stay or Should She Go? Dr. Sherry Weighs In

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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Trina and Gabe: Should She Stay or Should She Go? Dr. Sherry Weighs In

In the latest episode of Braxton Family Values, we learned that Gabe has been having cyber-sex with a woman who has photos of his “manhood,” and she’s threatening to post them online. Yikes! Click here to watch Dr. Sherry’s latest recap here.

With Gabe continuing to be unfaithful (and Trina participating in an “oral transaction” of her own) is it time for Trina to throw in the towel on her marriage? We asked Dr. Sherry Blake, who treats Trina and Gabe, what she thinks.

“I think that once you have truly lost trust and repeatedly been hurt, what’s left?” Dr. Sherry says. “It would be very difficult to work things out. When things were somewhat private, you could really get in there and deal with the issues, but now that it’s on the Internet, it’s very difficult. Gabe’s repetitive behaviors suggest an addiction. It would be very hard for her to trust him again. What’s sad for him is I think he’s a good guy with some really inappropriate, damaging habits.”

But what about the fact that Trina cheated, too? How does that change things?

“I’m wondering if Trina cheated out of anger,” Dr. Sherry says. “This is not to justify it, it doesn’t make it right — a lot of times women will go out and say, ‘You did it, I’m gonna do it.’ This could be her way of hurting him, tit for tat. To me it says the level of emotional detachment has become even greater.”

Trina and Gabe both claim they didn’t go all the way in their infidelities. Does that make their marriage any more salvageable?

“Cheating is cheating,” Dr. Sherry says. “You’re not doing what you’ve committed to do in a relationship. It’s not a pass to say, ‘I’m safe because I didn’t have sexual intercourse.’ When you’ve had oral sex or exposed yourself in cyberspace, you might as well have gone all the way, because you are emotionally detached. In relationships, people become emotionally divorced way before they become legally divorced.”

So should Trina continue to fight for her marriage? Dr. Sherry says there are both pros and cons to sticking it out:

Pros

1. She has a built-in babysitter for her children. (Trina has two teenage sons from her first marriage.) She doesn’t have to worry about no one being at home, or finding someone to take her kids to baseball or basketball.

2. She has financial security, which allows her to develop her career. “The band might be generating some money, but it might not be enough for her to have the lifestyle that she has,” Dr. Sherry says.

Cons

1. There’s no trust.

2. There’s no real communication.

3. There’s no real example for the children.

4. They have both failed to honor the vows of marriage. “If they were to stay and really truly work through it, it would be honoring those vows in some way, but that doesn’t usually happen if you don’t have a solid foundation for your marriage,” Dr. Sherry says.

5. Do they love one another? How do you love someone and continue to hurt them?

6. They don’t seem to have sparks between them anymore. “There must be sparks for a marriage to work — if you love a person but you’re not in love with them, the marriage can hold together, but it’s not a strong marriage,” Dr. Sherry says.

Do you agree with Dr. Sherry’s advice?
Here’s what our Facebook fans had to say about Trina and Gabe’s relationship:

Khadijah Bagley Babbs: I am for team Trina even though she is cheating on her husband. She shows real love for her family.

Tanya Byrd: Trina and Gabe’s marriage is weird they do not act like a married couple.

Carolyn Moffett: Trina stop allowing him to manipulate you. He’s ain’t worth it. He’s had many chances to prove himself.

Jocelyn JussJoss: Gabe is a cheater…Trina is too so therefore there marriage is never gonna work….bc they both seem like they wanna blame each other….for the problems they are having and yes they go see Dr. Sherry but they’re not doing anything to fix it within the household…they have never since the show started had any affection toward each other or even look like they love each other….

Kecia Clifton-Massenburg: Trina and Gabe? Their marriage has just about run its course in my opinion. Two wrongs don’t make a right; besides, Trina stated she no longer wants Gabe. Pointblankperiod.

Monique Wilson: I feel like Trina needs to take her responsibility in why the marriage is failing too. It isn’t all Gabe’s fault. She puts her band, her sisters, her drinking and her family over her husband. He seems to always come last on her list and a marriage like that will never flourish. Of course that is no excuse for his cheating or hers but she has to start looking at how she is contributing to the problem and be willing to start doing something different if she wants to save her marriage or have better relationships in the future.

April Rogers: Personally, to each her own, I don’t see how Trina stayed with him after cheating on her 5/8 years of their marriage. That’s so messed up. I wish them the best but they need to move on. Gabe needs some serious help.

Linetta King-James: She does not love Gabe anymore, she dislikes him, it is time to move on.

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