Last time we saw Bridezilla Tifani she was lacing into bridesmaid Tisha, and now she’s unleashing her wrath on the next unsuspecting soul, groomsman Marcus, by lacing some delicious brownies with laxatives for him to ingest. Retaliation for not getting his tux fitted in time, Tifani says she hopes the brownies don’t kill him…we hope so too. And the best part is that this ‘expert’ baker leaves her special dessert for mom to take out of the oven…and mom decides to indulge…why do we feel like this wedding could be going downhill fast?
Well not to worry, we have Johanne and Ed to distract us for the moment. These lovebirds met twelve years ago; she thought he was a ‘weirdo’ and describes him as a bad rash that would not go away-so now they are getting married. Some people like bad rashes…? Johanne is on her way to pay the venue, but as usual, has no money so she leaves nasty messages for Ed (evidently he was in charge of this task) and threatens to ‘feed him berries’ (?) and cyanide as punishment. What’s with these brides poisoning people?
It doesn’t end there for poor Ed. Johanne also wants them to get ‘matching’ tattoos to celebrate their love. Suspiciously though, Ed is required to be blindfolded for his ink-session and it turns out their tattoos are not the same at all, as his reads ‘Property of Johanne’…yikes. Adding insult to injury, the bride also makes out with her tattoo artist and plans a date with him before the wedding…now we’re not rocket scientists, but this CANNOT be good.
Tifani is making trouble for people as well. It’s her rehearsal and nobody shows up (we can’t imagine why) and then those who do attend leave her stranded with no ride to the dinner-she is not a happy camper. BUT she dulls the pain with meds and liquor to the point of being so intoxicated that she tells our producer he “has two heads”. Interesting.
Wedding day for Tifani and Jonathan! Tif has managed to sober up…but that’s quickly fixed by her guzzling tequila from a bedazzled flask as she gets dressed. The groom is missing, but when he finally does show up, the ceremony and reception carry out as planned. At the end of the night, the glam-vintage bridezilla gives some advice to future brides, “Be a b*tch”. We will remember that, thanks.
Next week it’s more drama as Ed finds out about Johanne’s date and it looks like he is calling off the wedding! Uh-oh…