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WE Tells All: Party in the DMV

The sisters meet for a little sisterly lunch (sans Toni), and begin to discuss the format of Papa Braxton’s big birthday bash.  Despite Michael’s desires for a buffet style affair, Tamar has offered to pay for waiters to avoid a) getting up to get her own plate and b) to avoid some of the nasty side of the family.  BFVQuote: “My ratchet Aunt Bev and her ratchet daughter are ratchet!”  Tamar and the sisters have good reason to be beefing with Papa B’s side of the family after some nasty comments about #BFV, people’s marriages, careers, etc.  BFVQuote: “I ain’t gonna be nothing but a background singer… prove wrong!”  They even hope that Vince divorces Tamar!  Aren’t these people family?  BFVQuote: “I don’t care what my crazy relatives think because they’re crazy!”  As if this lunch hasn’t raised everyone’s blood pressure enough, Traci brings up the fact that she wants to buy a gun for protection from crazies.  BFVQuote: “Either you move… Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! Or you get a security guard.”  The sisters think Traci’s hot temper is certainly not conducive to owning a gun, and they are not giving their blessing on this.  Regardless, Traci is still going to get a hand gun.

The sisters arrive at Papa Braxton’s 65th birthday bash, and the sisters are really happy to see some of the Braxton family.  Especially Pat Sajak… WE mean Gabe.  The set up definitely leaves some finer palettes wanting something more.  BFVQuote: “We aren’t even at ghetto fabulous yet.  We are still in the ghetto.”  These ladies are popping mini bottles from their purses while sitting on some church folding chairs.  To liven up this affair, Papa Braxton arrives in his pimp attire while making it rain fake money.  BFVQuote: “I came there passing out big money because I was Big Daddy, and Big Daddy always gives big money.”  However, this liveliness is quickly killed by the mention of Evelyn as the “baby mama” in Aunt Beverly’s birthday speech.  BFVQuote: “She is nobody’s baby mama, she is my father’s ex-wife.”  BFVQuote: “There is no such thing as being a baby mama for 35 years.”  BFVQuote: “One of the definitions of ‘ratchet’ is when you’re in your 60’s and you’re still being ratchet.”  Aunt Bev, I think your joke just flopped!  Tamar’s right… have several!  To make matters worse, Aunt Bev attempts to chat it up with Trina right afterwards and Trina is not having it.  How would it look if Trina is all smiles with a woman that just insulted her mother?  Then Aunt Bev decides to be even more dramatic and leave.  BFVQuote: “She can kiss my entire ass.”  Let the party continue with some “Party or Go Home” and some good times!  BFVQuote: “I’m gonna party all night long, and if you didn’t come to party then you better go home.”

Before the sisters go their separate ways, they must make a stop for some Maryland crab and recap with Daddy on Aunt Bev’s terrible speech.  BFVQuote: “Ya’ll know that my baby sister is wacked.”  It seems like no one understood the relevance of the story, the term “baby mama”, or what Aunt Bev was even talking about.  The girls are leaving in a few hours to visit Mama E. in the hospital in Atlanta.  What is even nicer than the concern the girls have for their mother is the concern Papa B. has for Evelyn.  Things really are coming full circle this season!  WE love it!

Mama Ev is surprised to see her girls at the hospital.  BFVQuote: “Thank God for Jesus.  It could have been worse.”  But who knew Tamar was such a germaphobe!  She is putting on latex gloves, covering her arms, etc… she must have left her hazmat suit at home.  The doctors think Evelyn has diverticulitis, so this will mean another diet change for Ms. E.  BFVQuote: “You don’t want to lose your life over no nuts!”  The doctor also tells Evelyn she should be “a lot lighter”, so we may be seeing a slimmer and trimmer Evelyn in the near future.

Back in L.A., Toni gets a surprise visit from Babyface because Mama E. isn’t the only one that needs to get some stuff in order.  Babyface has already gotten the back story from Towanda, but Toni fills him in on why she is seriously thinking of leaving the music industry.  BFVQuote: “Are you happy right now just in your life?”  Toni has happy moments, but she is still dealing with the divorce.  Babyface thinks the original appeal of Toni’s music was that she let her fans into her pain and her feelings through song, and she no longer does that.  BFVQuote: “You don’t do a record just for the success of it.”  Toni can’t handle anymore “failure” in her career, but it seems like Babyface may be getting through to her by making her realize that she still belongs in the studio.  BFVQuote: “I’m not gonna give up on you.”

Traci, Trina, and Tamar go with Evelyn to see a nutritionist because she needs to get her health and diet on track.  BFVQuote: “Managing her diabetes is no joke.”  Evelyn admits she has had tingling and loss of sensitivity to your hands and feet a few months ago, but she kept it from the girls so they wouldn’t worry.  BFVQuote: “We should not assume that your insulin is the only thing that needs to be done to make you healthy.”  #Boom!  Mama E seems to be really taking this in and WE think she is really going to start making a change.

Traci heads to a gun safety class to learn the rules and regulations before actually purchasing a hand gun.  Traci explains to the safety instructor, Robert, that this will be purely for protection.  BFVQuote: “If I knew how to handle a firearm I would feel so much safer.”  Luckily, Robert will teach Traci the proper way to shoot, instead of the “kill shot” method Traci has obviously picked up from watching way to many episodes of NCIS.  Papa Braxton and Kevin are here to support Traci as she tries her hand at shooting, but Papa Braxton is still unsure about this whole gun nonsense.  BFVQuote: “Traci needs to understand guns are not cute.”

After hearing about Evelyn’s meeting with the nutritionist, Towanda decides to accompany Mama E. to her exercise class.  BFVQuote: “I call it ‘za-nasty’!”  This exercise class looks like the poor man’s version of Zumba where the instructor heard Zumba was like dancing mixed with aerobics, but has never actually seen or learned any Zumba dance moves.  This is just awkward!

Tamar and Toni talk over tea about Evelyn’s health, next steps, and a possible push for her to move to L.A.  BFVQuote: “I think at this point my mom really needs to be monitored.”  Tamar also fills in Toni on Traci’s desire to buy a gun, and Toni is definitely not on #TeamTraci.  BFVQuote: “I remember I wanted a water gun to soak the hell out of Trina and Mommy would not buy it for me.”  Toni thinks she needs to tell Evelyn about this, but Tamar thinks she is just gossiping.  BFVQuote: “Every family has a newspaper reporter and that is you.”

Traci and Evelyn hit the store for some shopping, and for Traci to finally tell her about wanting a gun.  Among the tank tops and “booty cutters” Mama E. looks shocked as hell that Traci wants a gun.  BFVQuote: “Tell me you’re playin’.”  Traci doesn’t like the alternatives Evelyn is coming up with to ward off crazy fans like looking though the peep hole, but Evelyn is extremely concerned.  BFVQuote: “I don’t think nothing you can say will make me feel better or like it.”

Who is Mama Braxton dating?! Will Gabe’s desire to be part of the boutique ruin this sister venture?  WE want to hear from you!