The two of you may make a decent income but, over and over again, there’s little to show for it. If you’re the saver in this soon-to-be marriage, you may be wary of your new-car-buying, Starbucks-swilling, iTunes-downloading fiancé. If you’re the spendthrift, you may be deflecting the other’s righteous indignation with a defensive “What? I’m not allowed to have any fun?”

This is the time—prior to your marriage—to have a frank discussion about money and how you spend it. While opportunities for conflict abound in marriage, from child rearing to sex to recapping the toothpaste, money issues can set off some of the largest fireworks (and produce plenty of smoldering hot spots just under the surface). Here’s some advice that will help you start off on the right foot.

Start talking about money now. If you avoided talking about money while you were dating—and chances are you did—don’t keep putting “the money discussion” on the back burner. Talk to each other before you get married about your feelings, attitudes, and beliefs concerning money, and be prepared to respectfully listen to your partner’s approach.

Respect each other’s differences. Finding it in yourself to appreciate the ways your partner’s money personality differs from yours is vital. Try to think openly about the situation for a minute. If you’re a penny-pincher and you’re about to marry another miser, you’d likely never enjoy the fruits of your hard work! Yes, a miser-spender marriage may produce fireworks on financial issues, but with open minds and communication, such a pairing can also produce positive results as both partners move away from their extreme behaviors to a more balanced and fulfilling position. The way to successfully and happily manage money as a couple is to compromise, compromise, compromise.

Share the money responsibilities. Because married couples have a seemingly endless supply of financial tasks to tackle, I encourage open communication and shared responsibilities. Take advantage of each partner’s talents by matching tasks based upon interests and skills. Start by developing a list of responsibilities, such as paying bills, shopping for and managing insurance issues, and handling investments. Put it all on paper so that you both know who’s supposed to do what and when.

Think about your bank account structure. Are you going to keep your money in separate accounts, joint accounts, or a little of both? If one of you is holding out on the idea of getting a joint account, know this: State divorce laws generally treat a married couple’s assets as pooled and divide them up upon divorce accordingly, even when they’re in separately titled accounts. For many couples, pooling and sharing of accounts works fine, especially when communication is open and problems are productively addressed.

Set some financial goals. The best way to save for the future, without nickel and diming your way through the present, is to work out a budget that you can both agree on. Analyze your past six months’ worth of spending. Now go through the various spending categories—dining (meals out), groceries (meals in), entertainment, taxes, car payments, and so forth—and set targets that cut your spending enough so that your rate of savings increases. That’s what budgeting is all about.

Eric Tyson, MBA, is one of the nation’s best-selling personal finance book authors and has penned five national bestsellers. His most recent book, Let’s Get Real About Money! Profit from the Habits of the Best Personal Finance Managers, is available at amazon.com.