Ah, the holiday season! Stockings hung by the chimney with care, visions of sugar-plums, Prancer and Vixen, children nestled snug in their beds…Let’s be real: To-do lists scrolling madly through your mind, visions of credit card debt and frantic social events, children kicking and screaming in Toys-R-Us aisles…

What is a sugar-plum anyways?

More to the point: Is it possible to reduce holiday stress? And thereby restore a little magic to what has become a season you’ve come to dread? The answer is yes. Here’s how.

Simplify.

Take a look at your To Do list. Do you really have to deliver sugar cookies to every neighbor? Can you narrow that Christmas card list by a couple dozen?

As for the idea that every gift need be unique: Forget it! Buy in bunches. A classy photo album or some ginger-scented lotion will please more than one among your friends.

You’ll also do well to toss out the Martha Stewart standard for holiday entertaining. A potluck is just fine. Paper plates work too—so much less to clean!

Make a budget and stick to it.

Figure out how much you can spend before you shop. Look at last year’s bills for a sense of what’s realistic. When you hit the stores, pay with cash to avoid the temptation of spending money that doesn’t yet exist.

Cut costs with creative gift-giving. Instead of buying pricey items, donate to a favorite charity in the name of others. Or set aside an afternoon to bake Rice Krispie treats. Wrap in cellophane bags, tie with a pretty bow, and voila!
Another smart idea: Hold a Secret Santa exchange with the adults in your extended family. Only a single gift purchase required.

Just say NO.

That’s right, you’re allowed to turn down invitations and requests for help.

Ask yourself: What’s most important to you about the holidays? Which traditions do you cherish, which feel burdensome? If your children are old enough, allow them to weigh in on what really matters to them. Then act accordingly.

Remember: Just because something has always happened one way, doesn’t mean it has to happen that way again.

Don’t expect perfection.

Your life is not a sitcom. Lifelong rivalries between grown siblings will not be restored by meal’s end. Toddlers will not learn the true spirit of the season within half an hour.

Plenty will go wrong. Gingerbread houses will collapse. Stores will be sold out of the one toy your preschooler insists on. Traffic jams will prevent you from getting to the school pageant on time.

It’ll be a lot easier to take these bumps in the road if you know they’re to be expected. When you hit one, ask yourself: How important is it really? Can you even, God forbid, laugh about it?

Be good to yourself.

Amidst all the insanity, it’s hard to prioritize self-care. A bubble bath too much to ask? Try sitting in your parked car and breathing deeply before you hit the mall. Amazing what a few uninterrupted inhales can do for inner calm.

Temper your indulgences. No need to deny yourself that second eggnog at the office party, but if you’re drinking nog every night, there’s a problem. Offset heavy holiday meals by stocking up on healthy snacks. Even kids will grab for low-fat string cheese, baby carrots, sliced apple and peanut butter.

As for sleep and exercise, the less you get, the quicker you are to blow. Even a catnap can energize, a ten-minute walk release steam. If you’re frenzied, your kids will be too. And is that really the kind of behavior you want to model for them?

Volunteer.

Forgive this addition to your To Do list, but there’s nothing like volunteering to put things in perspective. When you and your children serve turkey at the local homeless shelter, it’s hard not to count your blessings. And ultimately isn’t that what the spirit of the season is all about?