Today, one in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. Considering how tough it is for us as adults to grapple with this inexplicable and sad reality, imagine being a kid. What you tell your children about cancer all depends on your unique relationship, but there are some factors every parent should consider.

Why tell kids about mom's breast cancer?
Giving kids a basic overview of what cancer is enables them to understand what’s going on with you. It also prevents children from imagining or worrying that it’s far worse, which children are prone to do. The good news is that there are libraries, bookstores, and Websites for information for everyone from science nerds to those who may have dozed off during high school biology.

What is cancer exactly?
Cancer, like colds, comes in many forms. Human bodies consist of millions of cells. If some of the cells grow in an unhealthy or irregular way—as is the case with cancerous cells—they prevent healthy cells from performing vital functions our bodies need. When these cancerous cells are detected, it is important to deal with them. Treatments vary. We do not have a cure yet, but scientists across the globe are working on it.

Why did this happen to my mom?
Cancer is not fair. Since children tend to understand things as good or bad, right or wrong, it’s harder for them to get why bad things, like breast cancer, happen to good people. The truth is that no one knows why some people get cancer or how one person’s cancer might be more severe than another person’s. Genetics, environment, stress, and unhealthy habits can play a role, but even healthy people sometimes suffer.

Is mommy's cancer my fault?
Children often blame themselves. You may have to check in with your child frequently. Even if the child seems to get it at one moment, they may not at another.

 

 

Will I catch cancer?
Unlike the flu, chicken pox, and yawning, cancer isn’t contagious. You can point out examples of other things kids can’t catch, like bug bites, a broken arm, or a stubbed toe!
Still, it is especially important during a stressful time for kids to learn preventive measures to take care of themselves. Eating a balanced, nutritious diet, doing regular exercise, and practicing other forms of self-care, like wearing sunscreen, helps.

*If you have a teenage daughter, it may be a good time to discuss with her the importance of routine breast exams. That said, your daughter’s chance of developing breast cancer may increase because of a genetic predisposition, but it may not. Breast exams are a necessity for all women and it will help your teenager to see routine medical care as normal and healthy.

What I do I tell everyone about mom's cancer?
Even if they would prefer not to discuss the issue with others, you may want your doctor to inform your child’s grandparents, aunts and uncles, teachers, coaches, babysitter, guidance counselor, or therapist about the cancer and the child’s comfort level discussing the issue.

Are there other people like me?
It is a relief to know how many resources there are for survivors as well as their families and friends to show their love and support. It’s almost impossible to walk down the street without seeing a plastic yellow Lance Armstrong Live Strong bracelet on a wrist or a pink ribbon pinned to a shirt.

For more information, we recommend these resources:

Cure Today covers the latest cancer research in an accessible manner for laypeople.

Founded in 1993 by an 11-year-old to connect children who have parents with cancer, Kids Connected offers free monthly support groups, online discussion boards and a 24-hour hotline for kids (800-899-2866).

The National Cancer Institute offers the latest scientific research and newsworthy information on breast cancer.

UW Wealth is the University of Wisconsin’s academic medical center and health system in Madison, Wisconsin, and has an easy-to-navigate, accessible Web site.