Fiance vs. Friends

I am engaged to a man that is 9 years younger than me. He and I were discussing my wedding list and we have run into a couple of really big problems...there are people on my list that he does not want at our wedding. First, my childrens' grandmother. He thinks that she does not like him and therefore feels like she has no place in our celebration. I disagree. I have known this woman for 14 years and her only son (who was shot and killed) was the father of my children. Since my fiance is not very social, she does not know him well and may have some reservations, but she has not voiced them. The second person on his hit list is one of my close friends. He does not think that she should attend because of his first impression of her. When he and I started dating, I took him to her house to meet her. In our casual, drunken conversation, she said that if I had anymore kids (I already had 4) that she was not claiming them and wanted nothing to do with them. I ignored it because she is my friend and I knew that she was just talking but he took it to heart. He felt like she was excluding his daughter and any kids that we may have in the future. And finally...the last victims are a couple. The married couple and I had a threesome some time ago and he feels like the really have no place in the celebration. I have tried to explain to him that it was just sex and it would never happen again but he thinks that it would be disrespectful to him. All of these people have been in my life for a very long time and I am not willing to exclude them from my celebration. He says that if they come we cannot get married. Another option is a destination wedding and a reception when we return (minus the aforementioned folks). I don't want that. Just like any other girl, I want the whole shabang! What should I do?!