The wringer

Hello ladies! I have a bit of an issue I am struggling with and could use a little advice. I was in a terrible relationship and have been free now for a year and a half (yaay!). I was so beaten down by this guy that I never thought i could trust again or even want to be with someone after all the abuse I endured. Well, lo and behold, I met a guy who helped me change my mind. I have been with my current bf for bout a year and things are cool. But here is the rub...I can't talk to his guy about anything he views as unpleasant conversation. I mean, like, who does, really? Too bad, that is what adult life is all about. So, anyway, whenever I bring anything up (i.e. maybe you can initiate sex sometimes so I can FEEL that YOU want ME!). It is always a one-sided thing and I used to try to talk to him about it but, you see, he just reacts! And it becomes about me but it's not about ME, it's about US!!! It has always turned into a huge fight if I want to voice a concern(any kind of concern, really). So I just drop it and try to turn it around and take the blame so he won't be mad. (keep in mind, it is not always like this, but it concerns me, greatly). I have learned from gtowing up in abusive households and being in an abusive relationship that it is best to hold your tongue and be cautious. I don't wanna do that anymore! I don't know how to not do that, though. I know he loves me and I love him, so, what can I do to empower myself to not feel that whenever i open my mouth, I won't get smacked down(figuratively, of course)? Thanks in advamce for any comments or advice. Take care!