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my lost kids

I am a single mother of two. My daughters' are seven years and 11 months old. I was 20 when I had my first daughter and completely unprepared. I knew absolutely nothing about adoption and so I took on the role of young, scared parent. My girls have struggled with me, even more so now with the economic crisis. I believe in my heart that if a show had existed like adoption diaries back when I was pregnant, selfless decisions for my children would have been made on their behalves. I imagine now how much more successful and happy they would have been if given the opportunity to thrive in a two parent home with a prepared, welcoming and loving set of parents and how much easier that decision would have been knowing that I get to be involved in their lives as they grow up. Now that i'm aware of this show, someday I would like to experience adopting a child when i'm on my feet which I would not have before this show came about. Thank you wetv and independent adoption center for opening my eyes to the beauty of creating one family out of two

hello my name is danielle. me and my husban been try to have kids but can't . we been married for 6 years now and would love to have a baby. we live in las vegas.

I was very excited to have run into a show on WE-TV on adoption, until I watched the whole episode. Since then I watched two more, and I am very dissapointed. I am dissapointed for the message that this station is sending, particularly to birth moms. Yes, I agree open adoption is a great thing. For both sides. I am a woman who hopes to be a mom one day. I went through numerous IFVs and IUIs and nothing has worked for us. We have started to look into adoption, and actually met with IAC. I really do not appreciate IAC's message - they force birth mom and adoptive parents to have a relationship. Let me explain my side. Again, it is wonderful to have adoptions be open. I think it is important for the child who is adopted to know where they came from, why their birth mom gave them up, what were the circumstances, and what medical history do they have, so that they can take care of themselves preventatively as an adult. I plan to have pictures and stories of birth mom to share with my child. HOWEVER, a child should not have visitation with their birth mom, until and only when they are old enough and chose to have them. This is what is so disturbing to me by this show. Now current and future birth moms will look at this show and say....i will give up my child and will still be able to see them, maybe even celebrate events with the adopted parents. And they will start to think...i can have sex, get preganant, no big deal, I will give my kid for adoption and still have a relationship with them - easy. Well, again, wrong message to send. Not all adopted parents want to have an open relationship with visitation rights. Open Adoption means that the child knows who their birth parents are and how to reach them if there is a desire. Open Adoption by IAC now spreading the word that Open Adoption means having a relationship with two families. Shame on you WE-TV for spreading this message to the greater population.

I am an adoptee myself and and after seeing this episode I felt a little upset with how Whittney's emotional status during the episode was. I am basing my comments on an hour episode. I felt she did not work through many of her issues as far as her miscarriages. I am concerned she may have started the adoption process too soon after the emotional heartbreak she and her husband endured. She may not be aware of it but a lot of that emotional baggage and that loss she is feeling will now be transferred to that baby unknowingly...This baby boy was already born with a big job and that is to fix the well being of Whittney and to fill her emotional void that has not been dealt with (as far as I see). I have talked to many adoptive parents, birth parents and adoptees. This situation is often not realized until the child is older....Again this is my OPINION...I have been dealing with the adoption triad for some years now as for myself and many others..

Here is our Dear Birthmom Letter. We have been trying to start a family for years. We went throu fertility treatment years ago and decided to walk into an adoption office a yr. and half ago. Feel free to e-mail us (rookie8@netzero.net) or call our Adoption Specialist.
Dear Birthmom,

Our names are Rob and Kelly. We met through a mutual friend about 13 years ago and have been together ever since. We have been married 12 years and have always dreamed of having a family.

We live in a big house on 3 acres in the country that we want to fill with children. We are in a great school district. We have 2 dogs--Fred and Moose who are friendly and great with kids.

We are complete opposites. Rob grew up in the country with 1 brother and 3 sisters. They all love sports and are very competitive. He is always the life of the party, has a good sense of humor and is outspoken. Rob's hobbies are sports, boating and fishing, spending time with friends, working on the house and traveling.

Kelly was raised by her grandparents in the city. She is an only child, who was not into sports but instead spent her Saturdays in a dance studio. Kelly is soft spoken, easy going, sensitive and patient. Her hobbies are scrap booking, taking pictures, walking the dogs, dancing, boating, traveling and spending time with her mom.

We were both in the Army, stationed in Germany and have traveled to several locations. Since back in the States we have been on 2 cruises and enjoy taking our pontoon to the Ozarks.

We both come from good families that support our decision to adopt. Since Kelly is an only child, her mom can't wait to be a grandmother! We are blessed with great families and good friends.

We believe we have a lot to offer a child. We have a lot of love to give and we are financially stable. Kelly is planning on being a stay at home mom and Rob's job is flexible enough to take time off when a baby arrives. We look forward to reading books, singing, laughing, learning and all the challenges a baby will bring.

We understand you are making a difficult, selfless decision and we are in agreement with an open or closed adoption. We would like to keep in contact with you through pictures, letters and e-mails, if you would like. We will respect your wishes. We have completed our Home Study through Catholic Social Services. If you or someone you know is considering adoption as an option, please feel free to call Reta , Adoption Specialist, at 618-394-5900 ext. 196. We welcome any questions you may have about us.

Thank you.for taking the time to read our letter
Rob and Kelly

How much contact should I expect with the birth mom before the birth? She is out of state and we have not heard a word from her agency or her.

I am a birthmother of a 3 month old. I thought about adoption when I was 6-7 months pregnant and began looking for the right place to help me place him. My sister died when I was 8 months pregnant and I stopped searching. I had my son and my maternal instincts set in. I cared for him for 2 and 1/2 months before I realized I cannot raise another child in the situation I am in. I am 31 with 2 kids, 9 and 12. As a single mother, they have struggled along with me so far. I did not want my new perfect son to have to struggle as they did. I am a nurse and cannot find a job-there are nto too many available in this town (do nto believe the nursing shortage hype:>) BUT as I was writting this, I got a call for an interview FINALLY!!!-this just happened as my son is visiting with his adoptive parents right now. He spent the night with them last night. I really feel that he belongs to them. They are agreat couple that I found on IAC website and they are great and love him. They already invited us to visit him the weekend before christmas because they fly out of town every christmas. They really want open adoption so our baby knows who he is and that we all love him. It is hard on my kids, but they understand and liek the adoptive parents very much. It is hard for me right now because when I contacted IAC, they said they would help, but sofar they keep throwing new things at me every day so the process that I want to be fast, is taking longer and longer. We do not know when we can sign the papers or if the adoption will even be approved, yet they advised the adoptive parents to coem to town and take him over night. My counselor tells me she cannot comply to what is best for me because they are short staffed or idk what else-the show shows the counselors coming to the birthparents and adoptive parents homes and hospital, but they have not coem to my town at all esp since both me and the adoptive parents are here-we have to drive out to see her for everything including signing the papers. it is very hard. My counselor did go over any resources that are available to me as a single mother, but really, i feel like I am in limbo.
I knwo open adoption is right for me and my situation because my kids will know their brother and i will give him nothing but love every chance I get to see him.
I just wish IAC was more available to me and could be there for me more. I dont understand why they are not.
I made my mind up so I do nt oneed help with that, just help with more support and understanding from them i guess.

My husband and I tried to conceive and spent tens of thousands on infertility treatment over the last several years. We exhausted everything we had and refuse to go into debt any further. How do we find a birth mother who is willing to bypass the expensive and exploitative adoption agencies? We have been married for 13 years and have a stable and loving home. We always knew we were meant to be parents. Contact us if you are looking for adoptive parents. We are in Northern California.
andreaday@citlink.net