Pregnant Girl Justine
I watched the episode last night with the pregnant sister Justine. I am still very bothered by this episode. That young girl wanted to keep her baby and you could also see that her sister Courtney tried to relay that message. Her mother is a selfish bitch. Ok-abortion wasn't an option but you are going to force her to carry this baby for 9 months and then give it up--like it is so easy. She was so worried about how this would reflect on her-not her daughters feelings. Also the part where she made the comment that Justine feels that Courtney is the favorite daughter--she is and it is so obvious. I mean-come on we all make mistakes and we have to learn from them and decide how to recover on our own from those mistakes. Did she ever once think how this was going to affect her daughter in the long run??? I think about this poor girl and want to cry. You could see the hurt in her eyes and on her face during the entire episode. I am sorry---I feel that she should have had the choice to either have an abortion or to keep her baby. I am a mother myself and have an eighteen month old daughter and I could never imagine telling my daughter that she had to go through pregnancy, give birth and then give her baby away so that I wouldn't have to "raise" it. I feel very sorry for those girls for having such a bitch for a mother!!!!! I hope that Justine was able to arrange for an open adoption with the family that she gave her daughter to. So at least she will have some connection to her daughter.
Re: Pregnant Girl Justine
First, let me say thank you for responding. You are right, I do not know the specifics of the situation. I do not know Justine, her family, or you and your family. I actually logged back on to apologize for my hasty remarks and see that you have actually put me in my place.
Everyone's situation is different. When I was pregnant I was not allowed to attend public school, but a school called "School-age Parent Center". There I met a girl who did just as Justine, placed the baby up for open-adoption. I saw her a couple of years ago at a rodeo, she had gotten married and had another baby. There had been a falling out between her and the adoptive parents, but she knew the baby was being taken care of and she regularly recieved pictures. She thinks of her child often, but doesn't regret her decision.
I am sure you and your wife are, and will be, wonderful parents. It takes courage and commitment to adopt. We have discussed adoption ourselves, albeit an older child, so we fully understand the courage and the process you have had to endure. That, in and of itself, takes a special person.
I apologize for encouraging Justine, or suggesting, she "take the baby back". I could not imagine someone taking my child away, and I'm sure what I said was hurtful. You need not be biological to be a parent. Please accept my apology.
I think though, Justine's story has opened up the pathway for a discussion that has been a long time in the making. These girls (teen mothers) are told what's best - they truly are not given options, not asked for their input nor are they told their rights and simply do not know any better. I think those of us that have been there remember what we were told, they way we were treated, and in turn saw the show and jumped to conclusions based on our own experiences.
It's a teen girls nature to want to please, after all let's be honest, that's what got them there in the first place. I understand that you have been told by the birth mother and her parents that this was a "joint" decision, but how much of the initial discussion were you there for? With all due respect, we have been on the "other" side.
I wish you the best for you and your daughter. Again, I apologize for my hasty and harsh comments.
I think it is great that you chose to raise your child as a teen mother and that you and he are doing well today.
However, you don't know Justine or her mother and your comments about them are incorrect.
By watching the show you presume to know that Justine wants the baby back. Ignorant statement. You do not know what Justine wants. Did it ever cross your mind that she did exactly what she wanted to? Did you ever think that maybe the couple that adopted her baby stay in touch with her on regular basis - that Justine sees the baby's first steps, first smile, first ear infection, etc. Guess what, she does!
As for saying Justine's mother will "feel the pain." Again, a completely ignorant statement. Justine's mother is also part of the baby's life - thus, she's not going to "feel the pain" that you referred to.
Again, I think what you accomplished is great. However, your situation was different from Justine's. Thus, next time you want to give her advice or comment on her mother - stop and think. You're drawing your conclusions from a TV show and by doing so, you're posting comments about them that are completely inaccurate.
Had it been up to my mother, I would have been sent away to a "teen home" 8 hours away from where I live, given the baby up for adoption, come back home and live a "normal" happy life. My mother was so afraid of how she would be viewed, how my brother would be viewed, and how the family as a whole would be viewed that I was not allowed to visit her at work while I was pregnant. She had me committed to a mental institution for the first 4 months of my pregnancy so she would not have to deal with it. A friend of the family stepped in and allowed me to live with them for the remainder of my pregnancy.
Despite my mother's objections, I graduated 1 year early from high school, had my son, and returned to college one week after a c-section. I kept my son.
It was not easy, I did not have any financial help - no welfare, no medicaid, no food stamps, no wic. We ate beans and potatoes for the first two years, and a night out meant going to McDonalds. His father and I married when he was 1 1/2 years old and have been married for 13 years now. We have three children, 14, 10, and 8.
I am a successful professional now and have bought my house and car on my own (yes, without financial assistance from my husband). My son, the one EVERYONE said would be better off with a "normal" family, is a happy, well adjusted, 14 year old with a great head on his shoulders. (Wish I could say the same for the other two). He is a straight A student, an incredible athlete, a natural leader, and a kind, caring individual. The funny thing is, now everyone who wanted me to give him up (including his grandmother)wants to take the credit, even though we lived three states away for most of his life. No one can take the credit, not even me, he is who he is. I simply laid the foundation for him.
Justine's mother will feel the pain in 18 years when this child comes back, and the relationship will forever be strained with her daughter. I hope it was worth it for her, because she has no idea what's coming.
JUSTINE - get your daughter back if that is what you want. I could see the pain in your face. Yes, your mother is your caregiver. YOU, however, are a parent now and you need to start making decisions for YOUR child. No one can do this, but you. As a parent now, you have rights that not even your parents can supercede.
It's interesting to note that as I was watching this, my son actually sat down with me to watch. When it was over he said "Wow. I would hate to have a mother like that. You're mean and strict, but you're not selfish. I love you, mom." He hugged me and went to bed.
Re: Pregnant Girl Justine
i wasn't sad for the girl at all.i think she should have kept her legs closed instead of having sex at a young age,but i think at that age a lot of girls in high school are ignorant to what boys really want,or maybe not maybe they want the same thing,and they don't know what the outcome may be.she also could've stood up to her bitch of a mother,and kept the baby,but if i got pregnant at that age i would've gotten kicked out or even worse.if you wanna act like an adult,an have sex at a young age you should accept the out come of getting pregnant.but this girl's mother decide to have the baby adopted.now this girl will remain a child not knowing the responsibilities that come with having a child not just the hours of labor,but the years of raising that child.this girl would most likely get pregnant again,but i find it pathetic to think that no one ever considered that this is what she wanted to happen for she can go on with the happiness of her life not using her brain so she can just go back to partying,drinking,and having sex.when i seen this episode i noticed that the young girl did not put up much of a fight against her mom so this is what brings me to my conclusion.if any young girl thinks just because she can have a kid,and become an adult you are wrong.there's a lot of responsibility to be grown up not just to decide to have sex for the hell of it,but to think how this could affect your future.
i really don't care what other people will think of my comment.i've been around so many pregnant teens when i was in high school.being young and pregnant was like an air born disease in my old school.
It is obvious that the girl did not want to give up her baby. Her Mom just didn't want to be a grandma yet, selfish indeed. It is also obvious that the decision will have serious implications for that family as the years go by. I hope the family is in therapy. I would urge Justine to get her baby back. I'm not an expert but I don't think adoptions are final until after the first year. She will be fine-her family is strong (and who cares what mom thinks,l since she didn't give a crap about her grieving daughter). Get a lawyer and get your daughter.
I agree with you. I just watched the episode and was sad. I have a 4 month old girl and she is my life. Granted im not a teenager but Justine will regret and think about her baby for the rest of her life.I have a friend who regretted having an abortion and thinks about how her baby would be now.