advice please
My situation is a little bit of an unusual one. None of the problems I have are uncommon, but having them all at once is getting to me. My husband to be Jon, and I are to be wed in September of 2009, but there's just so many problems I don't know how we're going to make it work. First of all theres the money problem, as in, we have none. While both of us are working now, we're also both going to school. Which leads me to my second problem. Time, we don't have any of that either. Heres a Big one for you, Distance, Jon lives in southern Cali, and I live in the northwest region of Washington. While we go visit as often as possible, and we call each other all the time, and he'll be moving up here a few months before the wedding, it's really hard to plan a wedding when getting input is like pulling teeth from 1000 miles away. To make matters worse, our families aren't helping any. His entire family loves me, and is super happy for us, except for his parents... who have real control issues and wish we'd never met. My family is being super difficult as well, my mother wants me to move the wedding date back a year or two... or five. My father's in denial and my sister just won't co-operate.
HELP!!!
any and all advice will be appriciated.
You need to dig deep into your heart and realize that its not about the "wedding" its about two people in love. Women are too tied up with the "wedding" and going way overboard with these over-priced weddings. Do yourself a favor and plans something fun and simple that brings out the love between the two of you that's within your budget. I've been to weddings that cost about a half million dollars and the best wedding I've been to was in someones backyard that cost them about $1,000 and we still talk about how much fun we had at the less expensive wedding because it was all about fun and family. Good luck to you and god bless!
Hi there, I am one of the wedding planners from Rich Bride and I normally only respond to blogs from the shows that I do but I read your email and am feeling your pain.
DIY - it is never easy but sometimes it is the only solution. If you can afford a $10,000 for 50 guests, find a restaurant, they will take care of everything, the food will be good and there are few worries.
Whatever you do, DO NOT charge your guests to come and that includes CASH bar. Only do something you can afford to do but do it well and with class.
Many years ago, I helped a friend at university with her wedding and this is what we did. First of all, throw away all of the wedding planning 'expectations' that you hear about. Plan a simple service at city hall. Find friend who has a house or a lovely garden where you can throw a small party. Figure out the 20 people that are the most important to you (10 for your and 10 for your betrothed.) Only invite those 20 people - they don't have to be family, they are just the most meaningful people in your life.
Do an elegant afternoon, late-lunch party with some very simple food with your friends - and I mean simple - four dishes, chicken, a starch (potato or pasta) salad, a green salad (buy the pre-washed greens and a good dressing) really good bread and a simple cake from a good bakery. You can even order the food from a great food shoppe or deli if you have the budget or just do it youself. Get some good but not costly Californian sparkling wine, great (CANADIAN!) beer and some sparling water. If you can afford to rent some dishes and glasses do that or see if you and your host can combine your two households to make it work. DO NOT use paper - it may be a simple one but it is still a wedding.
Call a staffing agency and ask them for a bartender and an all-purpose server to help server the food and keep the place clean. Staffing here in Toronto is anywhere between $20 and $30 an hour but it is SO worth it and it raises the bar, making your event a bit more special.
For your bouquet, go to the farmers market and buy 3 dozen roses, all a similar colour. Strip off the greens and cut all the same length, about ten inches. Tie with a tough piece of string and then take a good ribbon and tie again with a bow, covering the string.
Guest favours- skip it, most are useless junk. Make a small donation to your favourite charity.
Flowers for the reception - if you are in a garden, you don't need. If you are not, think about using all greens in some inexpensive vases from a big box store. They are easier to arrange and cheaper.
Dress - Vintage - get your head outside of the puffy grand ballgown and go with something elegant.
His clothes - a great navy blazer and pair of khaki pants - just make sure the shoes are of good quality and well polished and that is white shirt is crisp and pressed. Skip the tie.
Get rid of the word 'wedding' in your head and this of this as a lovely day for a great party. It might not be the wedding of your dreams - few of them really actually are - but it will be an affair to remember!
BTW - I just did a quick budget for everything I suggested doing and it was under $2000.00 - that is cheaper than going to a resort and it will include the people that mean the most to you.
Best of luck and let me know how it all turns out!
dv x
The best thing for you to do would be grab your immediate...I do mean immediate family. Book yourself a pastor (whichever religion you may be) and go to the most beautiful private beach you can find. Have yourself a private romantic service on the beach with your very closest! It is so intimate and fun. As for pics....give a friend $150 bucks to go to the store and grab the throw away camera's and snap away. And just plan a nice dinner to follow. You'll see...it would be so intimate and beautiful. Good Luck!
elope & get married on the beach,it is so romantic.
Why should you stress yourself out if no one is helping you.
If the fam gives you a hard time about it tell them you will have a reception when you get back.
I know what this is like but if you dont want to wait,this is your decision not theirs