Amazed at Our System

Hi, I am 48 years old. I wouldn't say I had a great childhood. My father left when I was five and disaster struck. My mother Go-Go danced and did drugs as well as drank. I was raped constantly by her boyfriend. Some nights and can still hear his boots coming up the stairs. I have two sisters and a brother. My mother later had two girls and another boy from the man that raped me. No food in the house, I remember looking for food in dumpsters. It was hard and we had an abusive life stile. I can remember an ancident when someone left the cat in the house and it pissed on the floor. Not knowing who did it my sister and I were ordered to lick it up before we were beaten with the belt. We were left alone at night and locked in our bedrooms while my mother went out partying. I was the oldest and left to fend for all. I cried many nights. Then one day mother left us on my grandmother door step and took off. There we were on grandmas door step and she had no idea we were coming. In and out of foster homes we all tried to adjust to a halfway decent life. It was hard for me, we couldn't do sports and I was scared from the rapes I had incurred. I tried to be a good girl, after all we now had food to eat and clothes to wear. I could not adjust to the hard rules that grandma had. I ran away alot then soon became pregnant . I had a daughter now at 17, still unable to take care of myself I jumped into another relationship with a drug dealer and got pregnant again. This time I married and lived with his mother, sisters, brothers, there husbands in this large home doing drugs. My husband beat me constantly. I always went back. My daughter now was being raised off and on by my grandmother. My son finally turned two and was diagnosed with leukemia, being in such a batter atmosphere I left. I went back to live with grandma. My son was kept from me by my husband. He would not let me have him, unless I went back, and I didn't "Finally". My son died at the age of five. I soon found Wayne my husband for 24 years, Grandma lived in Florida with dad and everything seemed great. I had my own Business, Graduated College, Had four more great kids with my husband , bought a home, It was finally OK. Then I went to Florida to see Grandma and dad, Dad was so proud of what I finally become. Grandma was her same self, complaining all the time, but I loved her, after all she really did save me and my siblings from the destruction of my mother. The three days before Christmas my dad died. My dad had a brother "my Uncle". My granmother was no frail, the house was very dirty, she could clean, she had a heart attack, macerate degeneration, most of her colon was gone. she was sick, and her other son did not want her. I felt I owed her the same curtosy she gave me and took her into my home. My uncle took all her assets and put them in his and my aunts name. I did not even know she had money for all these years growing up we where led to believe we were broke. We got our sneakers from A&P and charity clothes. Grandma did speak to my brother Tom, My sister Tracy was in and out of Prison, and Carrie I think tried to just forget the abuse. Tom came to our dads funeral the last minute and left, His two other daughters never came. Planing his funeral was the hardest day of my life. Now the funerals over no one wants grandma, so I bring her back to NY to my home. I had my own money, I lived comfortable. Taking grandma I did not think was going to be a nightmare. She needed 24 hour care, and with four other children , a business, . It was hard. Grandma soon was upset that her son did not want her and had switch bank accounts to me and her on all accounts, That pissed him off. I remember one night, telling him, "You have your own home, no kids and an extra room, you take care of your mother and I will help. He said "no". Grandma was in the hospital several times and she could help but mess all over the place. I finally hired an Elder care attorney, I had the Power Of Attorney and had no choice but to put grandma in a nursing home. I went through three different ones till I found the top notch one for her, with her doctors, that worked there too. I felt she was safe, It cost 275.00 per day, and my husband and I where willing to use her money for the care, and when it ran out we would use some of ours until, I got help financially. Her Elder care attorney suggested making trust funds in my four kids names to save some of her assets. We agreed. Now in Florida my grandma and dads names where on the home there and my dad died. He never divorced my mom. So that was a nightmare as well. My Uncle and brother did not want grandma in this nursing, and of coarse grandma did not want to neither, after all who wants that. I could have took all those older people home they all wanted to leave. My Uncle convinced grandma (His Mother) who she was waiting for his attention and approval, told her he will take her home, but took her to the bank first, changed the power of attorney to my aunts name. And put a elder care abuse warning against me. He and my brother convinced the DA to indict me and my husband of bulking my grandmother, The front page of the paper said Business Owners Fleece Grandmother. Then the trial began. I had witness, proof, but nothing made it into the courts, my lawyer who I thought was good took a fortune, and said he personally will take the case then left us with another attorney. I did not feel I had a fair trial. The DA wanted me and my husband to make a plea, but we did not do anything wrong. So we didn't. I was sent to prison for 3-9 years and my husband was free to go on probation. Our trials where done together. We where charged the same. I found an attorney in Garden City Long Island who did my appeal. The DA Dragged the Appeal as long as they could until the Appellate court gave them a final date to respond. I was released after 14 months in prison. They kept the lowest charges on me I wonder why?? to this day. My grandma passed away, My family did not even say much about her life. or mention my kids. I did not even know, I read it in the papers. My Uncle has her Money, Half her home in Florida, and yes my Mother got the other half. I no longer speak to my siblings, I am trying to move on. I feel bad for some of the women behind bars. I taught a lot of them how to read and write. So many that are in Prison just need a second chance. The systems is screwed up so bad. I Never was in any trouble in my life before this, not even a parking
ticket. ...The DA was going to make an Example out of me, To this day I don't' understand why, where are the values, the ethics, behind the systems decisions. You just don't throw people away. They need to stop and take a look in there own closets first. No one is perfect, not even myself, I tried the best I could to help my grandma and love her very much. Anyway my story is sad, just as many others, but you can survive and you MUST BE STRONG!!