Whether you’re living with your BFF or a total stranger… sharing close quarters can be complicated. From splitting the bills to divvying up chores, these 10 dos and don’ts will help keep your abode “home sweet home.”
DO: Set Boundaries at the Beginning
You’re totally fine with her sharing your shampoo, but your super special organic honey puffed wheat cereal? Not a chance. Be upfront at the beginning about what’s yours, mine and ours. Set ground rules about your living space too. No need for a color coordinated wheel of cleaning duties (this isn’t camp!), but get on the same page about keeping the place tidy.
DO: Make a Financial Plan
If you’re splitting rent, cable and utility bills, have a point person who is responsible for rounding up the checks and sending in the monthly payments so nothing slips through the cracks. Automatic online payments make this even easier. Just make sure you reimburse each other quickly when need be. It can get awkward/annoying to have to ask twice.
DO: Hold up Your End of the Bargain
From unloading the dishwasher to restocking bathroom toiletries, household tasks and to-dos should be shared. She may be a young Martha Stewart when it comes to cooking, but that doesn’t mean she should be left to do the dishes too. Pick up the mail on the way upstairs, always lock the front door when you leave, change the water filter when you notice its seen better days… and hope she does the same.
DO: Mind Your Ps and Qs:
Relax, no one’s asking you to be Emily Post in your own home. Just treat her how you’d like to be treated! Don’t leave dirty dishes to pile up in the sink. Don’t hog the TV every night after work. Don’t gab on the phone all night in the common room while she’s trying to sleep. The little effort it takes to be courteous and respectful goes a long way. If you set the bar high, she’ll take your lead.
DO: Communicate
We’ve all snagged a granola bar in a hurry that maybe wasn’t ours. What goes around comes around, especially when you live together, right? But if you’re always eating her stash of snacks or she keeps forgetting to buy toilet paper, it could lead to tension. Living with a roommate is a balancing act, and sometimes it can get a bit lopsided. So if you feel frustrated, or annoyed, just talk about it. Open, honest and mature communication is the key to domestic bliss.
DON’T: Get Passive Aggressive
And speaking of communicating effectively … don’t be passive aggressive. The last time you checked, she wasn’t a mind reader. Silently stewing over her lack of responsibility around the house won’t solve the problem. Putting the full kitchen trash can in her room won’t encourage her to take the garbage out more regularly. It’ll just lead to more unnecessary issues on the home front.
DON’T: Be a Gossip
So what if she makes her own zit cream… or dips carrots in cottage cheese? Everyone has their own wacky habits and rituals (you included!), and she should be able to go about them freely, without fear of you gossiping to your girlfriends about her odd snacking habits and beauty routine. Respect each others differences. Don’t diss them.
DON’T: Assume
“Hope you don’t mind, but my best friend crashed at our place while you were out of town visiting your parents. I figured you wouldn’t care if she slept in your bed.”
That may be no biggie to you, but your roomie may get totally creeped out over a stranger sleeping in her bed. Whether you’re planning to have friends over for a weekly Bachelorette viewing party, or inviting your bro to stay for the weekend, all you have to do is ask. It’s the right thing to do. Chances are she won’t say no.
DON’T: Move Your Boyfriend In Too
If you’re in a relationship, be mindful of how often your significant other is hanging out and sleeping over. Even the most laid-back of roommates can get annoyed when a third, non-rent paying “roommate” keeps hogging the couch, bathroom and cereal supply. No one should feel like a constant third wheel in their own home.
DON’T: Sweat the Small Stuff
Whether you’re just living with someone for a year, or hope it lasts for a few (apartment searching is no picnic!) … don’t let little, trivial things get in the way of an important long-term relationship.
And then of course, there are roommates who have their own set of dos and don’ts for living together. Don’t miss four fabulous housemates on The Golden Girls and hilarious family affairs on Frasier.
Jessica Solloway is a Washington, DC based writer and producer. From wedding planning to work, dating to dieting (and everything in between), she enjoys writing about lifestyle topics women want to know about. Jessica received her degree in Journalism from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Check out her blog, The Savvy Mrs.
