Remember all those times when I thought my Mom had finally lost it? That she’d finally gone ‘round the bend, so to speak? Turns out those were false alarms, because this time my Mom is officially, certifiably, and unequivocally out of her tree. Why? Because we just discovered that my tall, blond, blue-eyed, best male friend Conrad is…a Jew. That’s right, somewhere in his family history there’s a Jewish great-grandma, and that’s good enough for Conrad—he’s going for the full conversion…which sort of makes Conrad the Jewish son my Mom never had. The only way Mom could be any happier about all of this would be if Conrad were gay. So naturally Mom’s throwing Conrad a huge bar mitzvah party (in guess who’s house?), and naturally I’m expected to help with the party planning. Thing is, I’m a little distracted now because of Jason and me. Not long ago we were planning to start a family together; now I feel as if I hardly know this man who shares a house with me. I don’t know what’s going on with us, but I’m going to find out one way or another.