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Joan on Episode 8: Pregnant Pause

It’s amazing how rich everyone is out here in L.A. Case in point, they don’t use trucks – they use garbage limos. So, my day began just like any other in Malibu when I asked Sabrina and Melody to help me plan a yacht party for our employees. The moonlight, the sea air, an open bar to fuel Tony and Lynne’s anger toward each other…what could possibly go wrong? 

I also taped an amazing episode of In Bed with Joan with Sarah Silverman as my guest, which was a complete delight except for when Sarah said my show was a joke and we screamed obscenities at each other. I thought, maybe Sarah is right. Maybe my show needs a bit of a make-over, starting with my bedroom set. I’m already breaking the bank on our boat party, so off we went to IKEA, where I figured we could save on some new furniture. (By the way, if you think IKEA is fussy about people sitting on their furniture in the showroom, you should try taping a TV show from one of their beds.)

The other big news concerns Melissa’s relationship with Duncan. Yes, I can call it a relationship. I don’t want to go into detail about what I saw going on between them behind closed doors…at 2:00 in the afternoon…in Melissa’s bed. All I can say is that she clearly paid attention to my talk about the birds and the bees!